Life is complicated
by Caazzie
Summary: Sophia and Dean - for ten years they had been friends, and knew everything about each other. One day their lives crossed again, and their lives never returned to the way they had been. Full Summary inside. May be some swearings. R
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Sophia Morgan and Dean Winchester were brought together by fate ten years ago.  
From the second they met, they have been best friends.  
But their own lives pulls them away from each other, and they loose their contact for over a year.  
Then one day Dean and Sam decides to visit Friday Harbor, and hopes that Sophia will met them.  
But a tragedy has happened in her life... **

**Okay, so I know nothing really fits into the series. But this is my story, and this is how I wanted to write it.  
The story starts in season two, so up till then everything fits into the serie. **

**So, let me know what you think. **

**I own nothing, except for Sophia and this little twist to the story. **

**Sophia **

The tears were running free, and I didn't try to stop them. Because I knew I wouldn't be able to.

I could feel the arms of my brother around me, and a few meters I away I knew my sister would be holding her husband.

I still couldn't believe it. Only an hour earlier we had gotten the call from the hospital, saying our mother had been in a car accident. She died immidiatly. She didn't feel any pain at least.

From what it looked like, it was just an accident. But who knows these days?

My sister's husband, Dave, was the one who had identified her. We couldn't do it. It was just too much.

This was the woman who had raised us to become who we were today. With no help from others.

My dad had died only a year after my little brother was born, so that was 22 years ago.

I had three years with him, so i couldn't remember much about him. But my mom; I would remember _everything._ Everything around me would remind me of her. Was that good or bad?

I could feel my phone vibrating in my jeanspocket, but I didn't care. I let it ring and eventually it stopped vibrating.

---

We stayed at the hospital for another hour or so, filling in papers and doing all the other stuff you're supposted to do. My mom had always been good at filling in papers and talking to people.

Another tear leaked over as I thought about her.

"Sophia, are you coming with us?" Tess asked me but I shook my head.

She had Dave and the kids, and Robert had his Linda. They should go home to their families.

Besides, I wanted some time alone. I felt like I needed to be alone.

"No, I think I want to be alone," I told her, and gave her a hug before she told me I could call her anytime. Then I gave Dave and Robert a hug before I watched them walk away together. It was pouring rain outside, but I stopped outside of the hospital. Feeling no need to move.

I looked at my clock. Eleven thirty-five. It was late, but I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep.

So I picked up my car keys, and unlocked the door. I just sat there in the car for almost ten minutes, the tears leaking, before I remembered someone had called me.

There was no caller ID, but there was a voicemail.

"_Hi Soph. Sam and I are in town, and I guess I'm just wondering if you wanted to see us someday. Don't know how long we're staying, a few more days maybe. Just passing through. Anyway, there's only one place to stay in this town, so come by if you want to. The room is 234, so I hope I'll see you soon. Sammy says hi, by the way."_

Dean and Sam Winchester. Two brothers I met for about ten years ago. I hadn't met Dean for almost two years, and it was atleast three since I met Sam the last time. I was glad they seemed to be together again, as brothers and friends. Hearing Dean's voice like this, right now, made me realize I had missed them more than I had let myself know.

Right now I forgot about the time – I just wanted to see them. My best friends and my extended family.

I knew where they were - there was only one motel in this crappy town. But it was my hometown, the reason I had never left it. And in the summers it looked beautiful.

So I started my car, and drove trying to see through my tears. It was harder than I thought it would be, and the usual drive for about five minutes took me ten. I turned on the radio, but it played a sad song so I was quick to turn it off again.

I couldn't see the Impala, but I knew they were here.

I parked my car, and climbed out, looking around myself. Room 234, where was it?

There was only one window lit, and just as I thought the room number was 234.

At least they were still awake. I stopped outside the door, hesitating. Should I do this?

Was this really the best time to see them, the same day my mom had died?

Yes, it was. Dean and Sam ware the ones I wanted to see right now, and we had always helped each other out. Ever since we first met. They were the ones I wanted to be alone with.

So I knocked on the door softly, two times. I didn't hear any movement from inside, but they had always managed to sneek up on me. They're good at that.

I was about to knock one more time when the door flew open. There Sam stood, so handsome. He looked tired.

It was impossible that he was a year younger than me, only twenty-four. He was so tall, and I could barely recognize him with all the muscles he had got since the last time I've seen him.

If I had seen him just walking pass me, I wouldn't have known it was him.

I was happy to see him again, but seeing him also brough more tears to my eyes.

He had known my mom, both he and Dean.

"Soph?" he asked, placing the gun he had in his hand on the table beside him. I wasn't surprised to see a gun in his hand. But Dean had said they were only passing through...

"Hey Sam," my voice was hoarse, and only a whisper.

"What happened?" he asked, worried, and held his arms out, reaching for me.

I didn't hesitate, but took a step forward and leaned into his hug.

Smelling him brought back memories of when we were young, spending all days together.

And then later, when they were on the road, we used to be talking on the phone for hours.

Sam had always been like a brother to me, and he always would be.

I heard the door closing behind us, and guessed that Sam had kicked it closed.

"Mom is dead," my sob was muffled against his chest. "I heard Dean's message, and I just... I missed you both so much, Sam, and I didn't know what else to do, so I came here."

Sam's arms tightened around me. "God, I'm so sorry Sophia," he whispered over my head.

We stood like that for about five minutes, before we took a seat in the sofa.

Sam turned off the TV, and let me lean against him, with his arms securily around me.

My tears stopped, and I could talk again. Without the sobs, even though I doubted that they were completly gone. Sam asked softly what had happened, and I explained.

"There was a... car accident. There were three cars involved, and mom died immidiatly. The doctors said she didn't feel anything, it was fast. The doctors called Tess about three hours ago, and then she called me and Rob. It's just hard to believe that's she's gone, you know? I mean, I ate lunch with her today, and she was happy. And alive. Its dad's birthday tomorrow and we talked about going to his grave. Like we always do. I guess we can't do that now," the tears spilled over as I talked and Sam let me get it all out. I fell silent, and closed my eyes. We talked more, as I listened to the even beats of Sam's heart and relaxed more and more into his side.

**Sam**

I was just about to fall asleep in the car, Dean driving, when we saw the sign.

We looked at each other at the same time, nodded, and Dean turned right right before the sign.

We had just gotten back from a hunt, and were on our way to the roadhouse.

But then we saw that sign – **Friday Harbor 40 miles.**

Friday harbor was the opposite direction of the roadhouse, but now when it was so close we knew we had to go there. How long was it – five, six years? – since we've been there the last time?

We had been here for the first time with Dad, hunting a spirit, for about ten years ago.

The ghost wasn't the only thing we found...

Sophia Gordon was the only one outside of our family truly knowing what we do – what we're hunting.

She had been in on the secret ever since we became best friends, that day ten years ago.

That day she also became one in the family.

But I hadn't seen her in three years, and it was over a year ago that I talked to her on the phone.

Being so close to her now – Dean and I both knew we wanted her back in our lives.

"Okay, here it is. Friday Harbor and it sure hasn't changed," Dean mumbled as he turned right again.

We were on the main street, and he was right. The town looked just like it used to.

"What time is it?" I asked out loud, but checked for the answer myself. Ten.

"Well, it's too late to go see her now," Dean said, reading my mind.

"Yeah, besides, we better find that stupid motel," I answered him, and he grinned.

That stupid motel wasn't a stupid motel. That was where we had spent all of our nights in this town...

It wasn't hard to find it, since both Dean and I knew the streets so well.

We passed a street that was closed off, with yellow tape. Polices. There were three cars, all demolished. It looked almost impossible that someone would have survided that carcrash.

"Let's hope it's no one we know," Dean said as he drove by slow, and then accelerated the car.

Even for such a small town, there was only one room left, 234.

We checked in under fake names, of course. Can't even use the real names when we're not working.

It was just always safer like this.

"So, going by first thing tomorrow?" I asked as I threw the bag on the floor.

"Naaw, let's just give her a call first? Who knows, maybe she want nothing to do with us for not keeping contact, huh?" he said, unserious. But he knew he might be right. And so did I.

It had been our responsibility to call, since we changed our numbers all the time. And who knew, maybe she wasn't in the mood to see someone she hadn't heard from in a year.

"Tell her I said hi, I'm taking a shower," I told him, and walked into the bathroom and started the shower. I locked the door behind me before I undressed and stepped under the hot water.

There is nothing more relaxing than a hot shower, but for some reason it only made me feel more awake. I wouldn't be able to sleep yet for a few hours.

I threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and stepped out of the bathroom.

The bedroom was empty, but Dean had left a note on one of the beds.

"_Taking a look around, I'll be back later"_ was all it said.

Back later could mean tomorrow, and there was really no reason to stay up.

I shot another glance at the clock, this time it was ten fourty.

Dean definitely wouldn't be back today.

I threw myself on the coutch and turned on the TV, finding a pretty lame comedy on.

But there was nothing else to watch, so I watched the movie. I could feel my eyes becoming heavier and heavier and was almost asleep when there was a knock on the door.

I flew out of the couch, and was quick to find my gun. Dean had a key, so he wouldn't knock.

And the clock was almost midnight; no sane person would knock on the door so late.

_It's safer to have the gun,_ I thought as I opened the door.

I didn't really know what I had expected, but it sure as hell wasn't what I saw.

Sophia, standing there outside in the rain. If I didn't know the truth, I wouldn't guess that she was older than me, barely over twenty. She was so small, her black hair reaching to her shoulders.

I hadn't seen her in three years, but this wasn't how I had seen her the last time.

Even though she looked exactly the same, she didn't. Sophia was always such a happy person, always had a smile on her lips. But not now. Now her eyes were swollen and red, her body looking so fragile.

Something was wrong.

"Soph?" I asked, still shocked to see her there. I secured the gun and placed it on the table right next to me, never letting my eyes off her.

"Hey Sam," she said, her voice so small. So sad, so pained.

I reached my arms out, letting her in, and she didn't hesitate as she leaned into my hug.

"What happened?" I asked, already fearing the worst.

"_Let's hope it's no one we know," _Dean's words went through my head.

I had a bad feeling it was someone we knew.

I kicked the door close with my foot, not wanting the night air inside.

"Mom's dead," she whispered, her voice muffled. Automatically my arms tightened around her.

Her mom was dead? This really was the worst that could happen to her. And she really didn't deserve it. Sophia is one of the best persons I know, and she already had so much pain in her life.

It just wasn't right that she had to experience more.

"I heard Dean's message, and I just... I missed you both so much, Sam, and I didn't know what else to do, so I came here." I could barely stand hearing her like this, she was practically my sister.

I didn't want her to feel this pain. Hopefully, we could help her through it somehow.

"God, I'm so sorry Sophia," I said, not really knowing what else _to_ say.

We stood like that for a moment, not saying anything before I lead her to the sofa and turned off the TV. It was wierd that I had been laughing at that stupid movie not even twenty minutes earlier.

"What happened?" I asked, hesitant, wanting to know but not wanting to upset her any further.

She told me what I had already guessed, that her mom had been in that accident we had drove by. At least she didn't feel any pain.

"I shouldn't have come here, what was I thinking? It's the middle of the night, and I'm bad company," she mumbled after a few minutes of silence, but she didn't show any signs that she was leaving.

"Dean called you because we want you here, and you're always good company," I told her, telling nothing but the truth. She made a sound that sounded like a snort. But I wasn't sure.

"You two have always been too nice to me," she whispered.

"There is no such thing as 'too nice'," I told her, repeating the words Dean had told her the same day we met. I managed to pull a small smile out from her, and then she rested her head against my shoulder. I wrapped my arms closer around her. We didn't say anything for a long while, and eventually she fell asleep. She needed the sleep, tomorrow would be a long, rough day.

Her mother had died today, and tomorrow was her father's birthday.

I removed myself as carefully as I could so that I wouldn't wake her, and then lifted her from the sofa to my bed. I would take the couch, letting her sleep on the bed.

Right after I had placed the cover over her, I heard a key unlock the door.

Before I had time to warn him, Dean was inside.

"Hey, Sammy," he said, pretty loud, before I hushed him.

"What?" he asked and raised an eyebrow. I shot a glance at Sophia, and his eyes followed mine.

"Sammy, you've been busy?" he asked in a teasing voice, grinning, and I nearly rolled my eyes.

But this wasn't time for rolling eyes, this was serious.

"Dean," I said instead, and he looked at Sophia again.

This time he saw who it was, even though her back was toward him.

"What's she's doing here?" he asked, and he didn't even try to hide the worry in his voice.

Worry wasn't something you heard from him often.

"Let's talk outside," I told him, and we walked out the door together. I was careful when I closed the door, not wanting to make any sounds.

"It's past midnight, what happened?" he asked, looking at me.

"You know that car accident we drove by?"

"Yeah?"

"Her mom died in that accident."

His face went blank, and this was clearly not what he had expected to come out of my mouth.

"Deb is dead?"

I nodded, and Dean closed his eyes.

"Damn it!" he said, loudly, and then were quiet for a long time.

"Her father's birthday it tomorrow... How's she holding up?"

"Not good, man. She hasn't been asleep for long, and for her sake I'm hoping she won't wake up early tomorrow."

"Yeah, you're right. I'm taking your bed tonight," he said matter of factly.

"Sophia is on that bed," I told him. I knew he was very aware of that, but I told him anyway.

"Yeah, I know. But you don't need to sleep on the couch," he said, exusing himself.

This time I actually did roll my eyes. There had always been something between Sophia and him, even if none of them seemed to feel or see it themselves. Or they just ignored it.

But the truth is that they would make the perfect couple, if they only realized their feelings for each other. They were already best friends, and had known each other for ages. They knew each other inside and out, and even finished each others sentences.

I had always seen her like a sister, but I doubted Dean had...

"I don't know about you, but I'm going to bed," he said before I could say anything, and went inside.

I followed, and locked the door. I nearly snorted when Dean took one of my pillows.

Yeah, he didn't want me to sleep on the couch, but he could take the pillow.

I turned out the light, and the room went dark.


	2. Chapter 2

**This chapter is all from Sophia's POV. **

**Let me know what you think, and if there is anything I should change. **

**Sophia. **

I could feel a warm body lying beside me, but I didn't have the chance to open my eyes and see who it was before my phone rang. I was quick to pick it up, not wanting to wake anyone.

"Wait a sec," I whispered, and walked outside, closing the door behind me. I sat down against the wall of the house, and turned my attention at the person calling me.

"Where are you?" My sister's voice was worried, and on the edge of tears.

"What?" I asked, not really awake yet.

"You know what I mean! Dave drove by your place when he went to work, and he didn't see your car. I called you two times already, and Rob called you one. Where are you!?"

"Calm down, okay? No, I'm not home. I'm at the motel."

"Why?" she sounded calmer, knowing where I was.

"I checked my voicemail yesterday, right after we left the hospital. Dean had called, and they are in town. So I went to the motel, and I slept here."

"Dean and Sam are in town?" she sounded shocked. And she had the right to be.

I hadn't talked to either of them for almost a year, but that was mostly because of their job as hunters. It didn't go a day that I didn't worry about them, but it was hard to reach them since they changed their numbers all the time. And their job didn't really give them much time to call.

"Yeah, they came yesterday."

"Well, it's good that you're not alone." I smiled a little, hearing that my sister sounded happier.

"Are you going to dad's grave today?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Soph, I really don't know. I have a lot to take care of, and I'll probably go tomorrow."

"Oh," I answered. I knew she was busy, with the kids. And mom died yesterday, so I could really understand if she didn't feel like going today. But still, it's dads _birthday…_

"I'm sorry," she apologized.

"No, it's okay. I'll just come by later, okay?"

"Yeah, see you then. And you should call Rob."

"I'll do that. Bye," I said, and hung up. Without checking when they had called me, I dialed Rob's number and waited. There were only two ringing tones before he picked up.

"Soph?"

"Hey."

"Where are you?" he asked, and I told him the same thing I had told our sister.

He, too, seemed surprised to hear that Dean and Sam were in town, but he didn't sound as happy.

I asked him if he was going to dad's grave, and he told me he would go later tonight.

"You coming with me?"

"No, you know I always go at the same time."

"I know. Well, it's worth a try. Tell them I said hi."

"I will. Bye," I told him, and hung up the phone. That's the first time I looked at the clock.

Eight-thirty. I was supposted to be at work in half an hour. There was no way possible that I was going to work today, so I called in sick. I stayed outside for a while longer, just enjoying the summer morning.

I took a deep breath, and composed myself before I got up and walked back inside.

Dean and Sam were still asleep, and I wasn't really susprised to see that it was Dean who had slept next to me.

I could feel a soft smile playing on my lips, remembering nights where we had slept like that.

I wondered where he had been last night, and when he got back.  
But then I figured that it really wasn't my business, and shoved the thought away.

I was just happy to see him again. I walked out into the so-called kitchen, and looked what there was so eat. I found nothing. I supressed a groan. I was hungry.

I took the key that lay on the table next to the bed, and went outside, locking the door behind me.

There was only a five minute walk to the café, and I needed some more air.

I walked slowly, trying to think about everything, _anything,_ else than my mother.

But it was hard.

There was no one except Simon, the owner, inside the café. He looked up as I walked inside, but quickly looked away. This was a small town, and he probably knew already.

"Hi Sophia," he said as I reached the desk.

"Simon," I nodded, and forced a small smile. He looked at me sadly. Yep, he knew.

"Can I help you with something?" the question seemed to be more than just an owner asking his customer what he wanted. It was more like your-mom-died-yesterday,-is-there-anything-you-want kind of question.

"Three black coffees, and three 'todays'," I said.

"To go?"

"Yes." Simon turned around, and fixed the food. Today the breakfast seemed to be blueberry pancakes. He put it in boxes, and then placed the boxes in a bag. He placed the coffees in a container that could hold all three of them, and reached over the desk to give the bag and the container to me.

"It's on the house," he said, before I had the time to reach for money.

"Thank you, Simon," I said.

"Take care of yourself," he said, and I nodded before I turned around and walked out of the café.

I walked faster on the way back, not wanting the food and the coffee to be cold.

I manged to unlock the door, only to find the brothers still asleep. I slammed the door, but got no reaction. They sure could sleep. So I walked back into the kitchen, and placed the food on plates which I put on the table.

Then I poured the coffee into three cups, and placed them, too, on the table. I took one of the cups, and sat myself on the bed next to Dean. I knew it was rude, but I wanted to talk to someone. And he had woken me up dozens of times. It was only fair that I would wake him one time.

I placed the cup under his nose, so that he could smell the coffee. It didn't take long for him to sniff it, and react. He reacted like I knew he would – flew up into a sitting position, and looked around the room. His eyes found me, and immidiatly they softned. Looking sad.

So Sam had told him last night. At least I wouldn't have to tell him then. Because honestly, I didn't really feel like talking much today. Not about that at least.

"Coffee?" I asked before he had the chance to say something, and so that I forced myself to think of something else.

His eyes narrowed slightly, but then went back to normal.

"Yes, thank you," he said, more polite than ever, and reached for the cup.

"No, yours is in the kitchen," I said, and rose from the bed and saw him fall back down into the bed from the corner of my eye.

"It's getting cold," I warned, and took a seat at the table. I heard shuffling footsteps and then Dean came into view. He hadn't cared to get dressed; he rarely did in the mornings, and was just wearing a t-shirt and boxers. It didn't bother me; I had seen him like this too many times.

"Well, you've been busy," he said as he sat down and raised the fork to take some food.

"I usually am," I said. He looked up at me, moving his eyes to mine from the food.

"You didn't make this," he said with mock surprise, and his expression made me laugh. He seemed satisfied with his try to make me laugh, and dug into the pancakes again. I ate mine slowly, not really feeling the need to eat. I took a zip from the coffee, and noticed that I really didn't feel like drinking that either.

"No matter what you say, I need ingredients to make food. And there are no here."

But I would have enjoyed to see Dean eat my food. He had always liked my food, and I had always liked seeing him eat it. He used to be the first one to try my new recipes, and had encouraged me to open my own restaurant.

"Then I have to make sure Sam goes shopping today," he said, and I smiled.

"So, what have you been so busy with this year that you haven't called once?" I asked, changing the subject and avoiding the subject that I knew had to come up at some point.

He narrowed his eyes again, but answered my question.

"Sorry about that, but it's been a lot going on and…"

"It's okay, and I totally get it. So no need to feel sorry," I interrupted him.

"So, you want to know what's been going on?" I nodded, and he seemed to think of where he would begin.

"You don't have to tell me about _every_ hunt," I said, and he chuckled.

"So, about a year ago we found Dad again. Turns out he had been hunting the yellowed eyed demon."

"The yellow what?" I asked.

"The demon that killed mom, and Jessica." Oh, _that_ demon. "Anyway, we had the chance to kill it, but it possessed Dad." I dropped my fork when he said that, and I didn't pick it up again.

"Sam shot him in the leg, and Dad got his control of the body back. Told Sam to shot him, and I told him not to. He didn't, and the son of a bitch got away. So when Sam's driving us to the hospital, Dad shot in the leg and I was in pretty bad shape myself, it…" he said, but trailed off, looking at me warily.

"Anyway, I ended up in a coma, and the doctors said I wouldn't wake up."

"But you did," I said, shocked from what I had heard. Dean had been in a coma? Their dad had been shot?

"Because of Dad, yes. Otherwise I wouldn't have."

"What do you mean?"

"Dad… sold his soul to the demon to save my life." His eyes were still wary, looking at my expression the entire time. I had no idea if my outside showed anything, but my inside was a wreck.

John was dead? Dean and Sam's dad had sold his soul to the demon he had hunted for over twenty years, to save Dean's life? I felt so bad for Dean and Sam, but my selfish part was happy. Happy that Dean was here now, alive. I could feel tears burning in my eyes, and fighted them back. But one leaked over, and Dean laid one of his hands on mine, resting on the table.

"I knew I shouldn't have said that," he murmured, but I shook my head.

"I'm so sorry, and I wish I could have been there."

"Forget it – and you're here now." Dean had always known how to make me feel better, and I had never been afraid to show my true feelings for him. Just like he always showed me what he felt.

"And then?" I asked, wanting Dean to continue to tell me.

"We met some new people. Ellen, and old friend of Dad, and her daughter Jo. And this guy, Ash. He can get you all the information you want in no time. He's a little weird, though. And then we got a job where a clown killed children's parents." I couldn't really understand why I felt a little jealous when he mentioned this Jo…

"That's horrible."

"Yeah, but imagine Sammy chasing a clown." I did, and laughed again. Because it was more likely that the clown would be chasing him.

"That's my girl," he said, and smiled. I returned it. I liked hearing him calling me his girl... That was also something I couldn't really understand.

"Did you ever find this demon again?"

"No, not yet. But we're on it, well Ash is on it. Enough about me, what have you been doing?"

"The restaurant is going great, thank you very much. Tess got another baby this year, and Rob is engaged. Can you believe it? But he and Linda are great together. Didn't you meet her once?"

"That might be possible."

"Anyway, from a few months back I'm single and I'm enjoying every second of it."

"Wait, what? You're single? What happened to… eh, what was his name again?"

"Eric, and I dumped him."

"Why, you two seemed to be great together?" I nearly snorted. We hadn't been great together. Not even close.

"Yeah well you know that we dated for about two years?" Dean nodded, and I continued.

"For about two years he also cheated on me. I had my suspicions, and then one day I walked in on him and my so called best friend. He tried to deny it even though he knew I had seen them. Hasn't spoken to either one of them since that day." I could see a flash of anger in Dean's eyes, but he composed himself and was careful not to show too much emotions.

"What was his last name again?" he asked, and I shook my head.

"Dean, no," I said, knowing what he was thinking.

"But that jerk hurt you!"

"Yeah, and that's life. Besides, it probably wouldn't have worked out anyway."

"You know, I really don't understand the way you look at things."

"And you never will," I smiled, but he didn't. It was quiet for a moment before Dean let go of my hand and told me to come over. I did, and seated myself in his lap. A place I had missed to sit on.

His big arms wrapped around me, and I leaned my head against his shoulder.

"It's a good thing you're so small," he said after a while of silence. But the silence were never awkward between us, it was just comfortable.

"It's not my fault I'm the shortest in my family."

"No, let's just look up the shortest family member you have, and blame that person." I laughed for a short moment, but then sighed.

"I missed you, Dean," I said, and he pulled me a little closer.

"I missed you too, Soph."

"And I really miss my mom," I added in only a whisper. His big arms wrapped around me even more, and he sighed but didn't say anything. He didn't have to, and he knew that.

When my tears had stopped leaking, he said something. Something totally random.

"I forgot to tell you something about my life."

"Yeah, what's that?"

"Sammy's a freak." I let out a laugh, and so did Dean.

"I heard that," Sam's voice came from behind us, and then he was sitting at the table with us.

"But since your laughing, I'll let it pass," he added, and smiled at me.

"You're not a freak, Sam," I said, and smiled at him through my tears.

"I'm going to let you have a second opinion about that when you hear what I mean," Dean said, and Sam snorted.

"You're just jealous."

"I don't think so, dude."

"Sam, what is Dean so jealous about?" I asked, and saw Dean give me another mock expression.

"You see, the demon that killed mom and Jess, also killed a lot of other people. And it gave some people abilities."

"_Abilities?"_

"Some can move things, others can control your mind…"

"That was awesome. Except for when he forced me to give him the car."

"He did what?" Dean wouldn't give his car up for a million dollars.

"Told you, mind control. He told Dean to give him the car, and he did. He even told the truth about us, and what we do. But he couldn't control my mind, though."

"And that is because you have abilities, too?"

"You've always been smart," Dean said, and I smiled, guessing right.

"Yeah. I have these visions. It started out as bad dreams that came true. And then I started to have visions in the day."

"Those are scary," Dean added.

"Why?"

"It gives me the most terrible headache, but it's over as soon as the vision is."

"And these visions, they show what?"

"They are all connected to the demon, somehow. And they're always showing me different things."

"Oh," I said, thinking it through. This was a lot of information to get in one day. But to be honest, it didn't freak me out. Not a bit. It probably should, but I was already so used to the supernatural world around me. And this wasn't the strangest thing I had heard of.

I still considered Sam to be normal, and to me he always would.

He would always be Sam Winchester, one of my best friends.

"You're not a freak, Sam," I said, and for a second I saw the clock on the wall behind him.

"Oh god, is that the time?" I asked, and stood up. I was supposed to be at Dad's grave in twenty-five minutes, and I really didn't want to be late. I wanted to be there the exact time he was born, like I always was. It made me feel closer to him.

"You want to borrow the shower?" Dean asked, knowing my thoughts.

I though about it for a second. That would definitely be faster, but I didn't have any clothes.

"I'll just take a shower later," I told them both.

"C'mon, let's do like in the good old days," Dean joked, and I smiled.

"How would it look like if I came to the cemetery with way too big clothes?"

In the good old days, when I had spent the night at the motel with Dean and Sam and I wanted to take a shower before I went home, I'd just take a shower and borrow clothes from Dean. Dean wasn't as muscular back then, but even then the clothes had been several sizes to big.

"Okay, you have a point there," Dean admitted and then a phone rang. It seemed to be Sam's.

"I'm gonna take this," he said, and picked the phone up.

"Hello?" I heard him ask as he walked out of the kitchen.

"So, how long are you planning on having these numbers?" I asked Dean who shrugged.

"We've only had them for a few weeks, so a few more months at least. Depends on whether or not the police is after us." I frowned at his words; even though I knew those words would be the ones that he would say.

"You know that having the police after us are a part of this job."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I'll like it. Sometimes I just wish that you didn't have to be hunters. That your mom didn't die. It would just be so much easier for you to live a normal life."

"But this life is _our_ normal."

"I know," I sighed.

"And besides, if we weren't who we are, you would have died that day and we never would have met you." I didn't have the time to answer him before we heard Sam's voice.

"But Ellen, we can't come by today, or any day soon," he said and Dean shot me a glance.

"Sam, give me the phone," Dean said loudly, and Sam walked inside with the phone a few seconds later.

"Ellen, I'm sorry, but we can't. And Dean wants to talk to you," he said and Dean took the phone from him. "Ellen," he said, and walked out of the room.

"Ellen… Wasn't that your Dad's old friend?" I asked Sam a few seconds later, and he nodded.

"Did she want something special?" I asked, and Sam shook his head.

"Nothing important," he said, but he was lying.

"Liar," I stated and he narrowed his eyes.

"What makes you think that?"

"You always do this little thing with your nostrils when you're lying."

"How do you know that?"

"Well, I've known you for ten years. I just know you."

"She's right, she does know you," Dean's voice said and I turned around.

He stood right behind me, now with jeans on, and shot a quick glance at Sam.

"I better go if I want to make it in time," I said, and started to walk. "But can't you come by later?" I added.

"_We_ better go now, because you shouldn't drive. And yes we can. Besides, you owe me dinner." I nearly snorted again. When didn't I owe him dinner?

"Dean, you don't have to drive me. I'll be just fine."

"I'm driving you. And don't tell me you haven't been itching to sit in my baby again," Dean said, and I smiled again. The Impala really was his baby, and would always be.

"Okay, fine," I agreed, and started to walk again. This time Dean followed.

"Bye Sam, see you later," I said, and walked out the door. It was hot outside, like always in this time of June. I didn't have to search long to find Dean's baby, and next to it stood my black Volvo.

It felt good to be riding shotgun in this car again, it had been so long ago and it brought back so many memories. Many happy memories.

We drove in silence to the cemetery, and Dean didn't have to ask to know that he should be taking the long way there. Because the shortest drive would make us pass the accident scene. And I didn't want to pass it.

He stopped right at the entrance, and climbed out when I did.

"An hour?" he asked, knowing me all too well. We always stayed for an hour.

I nodded, and gave him a quick hug.

"See you soon," I said, and turned my back on him and walked with a fast pace.

I didn't stop until I was at the grave. I felt stupid standing here without flowers and the same clothes I had wore yesterday. But there was nothing to do about that now.

"Hey Dad," I said, and sat down on the ground, leaning against the stone.

"Sorry about the fact that I don't have any flowers, and about the fact that I look like this. I should have watched the clock, or came by later. But I wanted to be here now, at this time. Happy birthday, Dad. Forty-nine, huh? You'll be fifty next year. I'll make sure both Tess and Rob come at the same time then, okay? Rob will come by later tonight, and Tess will probably come by tomorrow. But she wanted to come, you know that. She just has a lot to do… The kids, and Dave couldn't take the day off to help her, even though I knew he wanted to. And mom… I guess you're with her already." The tears that were already running down my face started to leak over even more, and I could barely see. So I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath.

"It's just not fair that she's gone. I already lost you, and what did I do to deserve to loose her, too? It just wasn't her time to die, not yet. Not now. How could she leave us now? With Tess having two kids, and they're going to need their grandmother. And Rob, he's _engaged._ She's missing the wedding. At least they both have someone. Sometimes I feel like I'm all alone, and mom was the person that was closest to me. Except for Dean and Sam, you remember them?" I smiled a little through my tears. "I remember the day I told you about them. I sneaked down here; mom didn't know where I was. But I wanted to tell you about my new friends. Wanted you to know all about them, even though I didn't know everything about them. They're back in town, and I went to them last night. After mom… yeah. Anyway, as always I feel better when I'm with them, especially Dean. Mom always used to joke that we would be together someday, and that she would help me with the wedding. And I always used to tell her that would never happen, since Dean was my best friend. Family, and not someone I even liked in that way. But now, I kinda wish she was right. I don't know if I feel like that about him, I just know I love him. He's family, and he makes me feel better. And mom will never be able to see me get married, or help me. And my kids, whom I_ will_ have someday, will never meet their grandmother. I already accepted a long time ago that you would never lead me down the aisle, and that my kids would never meet you. But now I have to accept that with mom. And it's going to be hard. I know I'll never see her again, never hear her voice again, and never have her to discuss something with. And I'm just having troubles believing that. I don't want to believe that. I want to believe that I will see her someday. That I will see her someday, even if I have to die first. And if that is possible, that means I get to see you too. I love you Dad, and I miss you everyday."

I took a pause, feeling like I had been talking a lot. I thought about what I had said, especially the part about Dean. It was true that I didn't know what I felt for him. I just knew that he was family, and that I loved him like that. And that I never wanted to lose him, never wanted him to disappear from my life. I felt the same about Sam. But in a way it was different with Dean. I had always seen Sam like a brother, I hadn't done that with Dean. He had always been something more.

And the more I thought about it, having feelings for him explained so much. Why I was always so worried about him, why I always wanted for him to see my strong side even though I never had troubles with showing myself weak. Why I liked hearing him call me his girl. And mostly because I felt jealous when he talked about that Jo … I had no idea of how old she was, or if she had a boyfriend. I didn't know anything about her, but yet I was jealous. Just like I was when he talked about other girls.

"This is ridiculous," I said out loud after a while. "If I have feelings for him, then I have so. And if I don't, then I don't. But if I do, I don't want to get my heart broken and loose my best friend. Because Dean is a person that I need in my life, and it's just impossible for him to like me.

"Dad, what should I do? Tell him, and loose my best friend, or just hide my feelings and hope for them to pass? And I need him right now. Just like I feel like he needs me. They're going through a lot right now, and I want to be there for him. Both Dean and Sam. I guess you know that their Dad is dead? Sold his soul to save Dean's life. I don't think I could do something like that. Even though I want mom - and you - back, I just couldn't do it. I'm too selfish for that. So if you see him, tell him thank you. Because I really do want him to know that I am thankful. Thankful for the fact that he made sure Dean would live. And I knew he sold his soul to the devil, but I doubt that he is anywhere else than heaven for what he did…" I trailed off and didn't speak again. I just let my tears fall, and kept my eyes closed as I leaned against my Dad's tombstone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, so chapter three is up.  
****Just as the last chapter was all from Sophia's POV, this one will be from Dean's. **

**Dean **

The minute we walked inside the motel room I felt like I was home. At least the closest thing to home I can get. I couldn't count how many nights I had spent here, both sleeping and talking.

And then of course the nights that were spent at Sophia's place.

The truth was that the minute I saw the sign I had to see her. Even if Sam didn't want to, I would have made that turn. I knew we needed to be at the meeting at the roadhouse the day after tomorrow, but I wanted to see her. It was unbelievable how much I had missed her, and I felt sorry for not keeping in touch more than I had. With us changing numbers all the time she couldn't really call us. I could call her, but I hadn't. Even though so much had been going on, I knew I should have. And I regretted not calling.

I hadn't talked with her for over a year, and hadn't seen her for over two.

It was almost ridiculous how much I really missed her. More than I let myself know.

Sam was taking a shower when I dialed the number. I tried with the same she had a few years ago, and I was almost surprised that I hadn't forgot it.

But I hadn't, and the phone was ringing. No one picked up, though.

"_Hi, this is Sophia. You know what to do, so do it,"_ I heard her voice say, and memories flooded back.

I left her a message and told her we were in town and were she could find us if she wanted to.

Then I left Sam a note and walked out the door. I didn't feel like being at the motel, and wanted to go for a drive. Just somewhere. I just drove, not really knowing where I was going.

I followed the streets I knew so well, and ended up at the dock. I parked the car and climbed outside, walking. The dock was also a place where I had spent more days than I could count, all of them with Sam and Soph, or only her. I sat down and just let my thoughts wander away.

I tried to think about everything possible, but all I could think about was Sophia.

I could picture her face and smile all to well. How her face used to light up when she had succeeded with a new recipe. How it felt like to have her close at night, talking about everything possible and more. And then how it felt like to leave her, when we had to go away on another hunt.

The times where I saw her eyes being so sad were always the times where I had wished that we didn't do what we do. That we didn't hunt for the supernatural.

And then when we were away from each other, we could spend hours talking on the phone. I remembered how she used to smell, all good and...

I told myself I was only thinking about her now was because she was so close.

I got up and walked back to my car, starting to feel tired. I figured we had to call Ellen tomorrow and tell her we'd be a few days late.

-

It was still lit inside the room as I parked my car beside a black Volvo. There was something familiar about the car, but I couldn't really put my finger on it.

I was just surprised that Sam was still up, and too tired to really think about it.

I put the key in the door and unlocked it. The first thing I saw was Sam, standing by the bed.

"Hey, Sammy," I said, knowing he hated it when I called him that.

"Shh," he said, and I raised an eyebrow. Why was I supposed to be quiet?

His eyes moved to the bed, and I looked at it. There was a sleeping figure there.

Guess he was glad I had been gone for so long then.

"Sammy, you've been busy?" I teased, and he looked at me. More like glaring, actually.

"Dean," he said quietly, and I followed his eyes to the woman on the bed again. This time I really looked. So I could see the black hair, and the small but all too familiar body. I knew that when she'd fallen deep enough to dream she would lie absolutely still, but before that she would toss around the whole bed. Yes, I knew that body and person just like I knew my own. If not better.

"What's she's doing here?" I asked, and heard the worry in my voice. I didn't care, because I _was_ worried. It couldn't be good that she came by this late.

"Let's talk outside," he said, and I walked out the door the second before he did. I waited until he had closed the door before I talked. I didn't want to wake her up.

"It's past midnight, what happened?" I asked him, and stared him in the eyes. I knew she had told him something, or else we wouldn't be standing here.

"You know that car accident we drove by?"

Oh no, this could not be good. The cars had been to much destroyed for anyone to walk out of there alive. Someone Soph knew was dead, but who?

"Yeah?" I promted.

"Her mom died in that accident."

It was like my body froze when he spoke, but at the same time I was sure I hadn't just heard what he said. There was no way that Deb was dead. Sophia didn't deserve it, didn't need more pain. I knew how it felt to loose both my parents, and so did Sam. And neither of us wanted that for someone, especially not our best friend.

"Deb is dead?" I asked, trying the words out loud. They sounded completely wrong.

I could see Sam nodding, and I closed my eyes.

"Damn it!" I said, and then I realized it was her father's birthday tomorrow. If she had to loose her mom, this was one of the worse days possible.

"Her father's birthday it tomorrow... How's she holding up?" I knew the answer, but asked anyway.

"Not good, man. She hasn't been asleep for long, and for her sake I'm hoping she won't wake up early tomorrow." He was right. But she had always been a morning person.

"Yeah, you're right. I'm taking your bed tonight," I told him, and hoped he wouldn't argue. I really didn't feel like doing that right now.

"Sophia is on that bed," he stated. If the times had been other, I would have rolled my eyes. Of course I knew Sophia was on that bed.

"Yeah, I know. But you don't need to sleep on the couch," I said, excusing me in the best way I thought of. The truth was that I just wanted to be close to her right now. I just felt like if I could help her somehow, it was by sleeping next to her. Holding her, making her feel safe.

"I don't know about you, but I'm going to bed," I said before he had the chance to do so, and went inside.

I knew she always slept with two pillows, so I stole one from Sam. I ignored the eyes I felt on my back, and took the blanket that was hanging over the couch.

I pulled off my shoes and jeans, and just as Sam turned off the light I lay down and made myself comfortable.

I couldn't even describe how it felt like to have her so close again, to feel the heat of her body.

I put one of my arms over her waist, and remembered all the nights we had slept like this.

Right before I fell asleep I was overwhelmed by her smell. She smelled just like she used to.

I doubted she had been working today, but she still smelled just like she had walked out of the kitchen, discovering a new recipe with wonderful ingredients.

---

There was a smell tickling inside my nose. A smell I knew.

Coffee? Why was coffee under my nose?

I sat up and looked around myself, finding Sophia sitting on the bed next to me. Holding a cup of coffee in her hand. When I found her eyes, and saw that they were still a little swollen, pain twisted in me. Pain and sorrow. She saw how I felt and was quick to say something.

"Coffee?" she asked, and her voice was hoarse. I didn't like the sound of it at all. If the eyes didn't give her away, the voice did. She had been crying a lot more than I was comfortable with.

"Yes, thank you," I said, being more polite than I think I had ever been. I reached for the black cup, but she took it away.

"No, your is in the kitchen," she said and got up as I laid back down. I had no energy to walk into the kitchen for just a cup of coffee. But I did want to spend time with her, so I got up again.

"It's getting cold," she warned from inside the kitchen, and I shuffled out of bed. I didn't care to put any more clothes on, and walked into the kitchen only to find her sitting down at the small table.

In front of her stood three plates of food, and two cups of coffee. She'd been awake for some time and I felt bad for not keeping her company.

I didn't care to wake Sam though, even though I knew the third plate and cup was for him. I wanted some time alone with her, and this was the best time to have it.

"Well, you've been busy," I told her, even though I knew she hadn't made the breakfast. She usually put down a lot more work than pancakes when she made something. Even I could make pancakes. Sort of.

"I usually am," she answered, and her voice was starting so sound more like normal. But I could do anything to see her smile right now. I put the fork with pancakes in my mouth, and almost groaned when I tasted it. It tasted good, but nothing compared to the breakfast she could have done.

"You didn't make this," I said, faking my shocked expression. I managed to get a small laughter out of her, and was satisfied with that. I couldn't really expect more right now.

She told me she actually needed ingredients to make food, and that there was no such thing in this place. I promised her I would make Sam shop, and managed to get another smile out of her.

"So, what have you been so busy with this year that you haven't called once?" she asked, changing the subject, and avoiding the one she knew had to come up at some point.

I narrowed my eyes, but answered her question.

I started to tell her about when we had found Dad, and then about the yellowed eyed demon. I didn't go into the specifics, but I told her we had the chance to kill it. Or Sam, to be correct. But it possessed Dad, and Sam only shot him in the leg since I begged him not to kill him. I told her that the demon had got away, and that Sam had been driving us to the hospital. I skipped the part with the truck destroying my baby, because her mom did die in a car crash only the day before.

It didn't really feel like the best thing to say.

I told her I had been in a coma, and that Dad sold his soul to save my life.

I was wary as I told her this, seeing as she knew him. And she had already lost so much. Her face went blank and a single tear rolled over. Great, now I made her cry. I cursed myself for telling her now.

"I knew I shouldn't have said that," I said to myself, but she heard me.

"I'm so sorry, and I wish I could have been there," she whispered, and I shook my head.

With everything she was going through right now, she actually felt bad for _me?_

"Forget it – and you're here now," I told her. She wiped the tear away, and nodded.

"And then?" she asked, wanting to know more.

I told her about Ellen, Jo and Ash. About the clown that scared the hell out of Sam, and made her laugh again. Every laugh sounded like a miracle of its own right now.

"That's my girl," I told her, and was overwhelmed by how true the words sounded when I said them out loud. She really was my girl. In some ways.

She asked me if we found the demon, and I told her not yet. And then I wanted to know about her life. I knew she would skip everything about her mom, but she would get there eventually.

She told her the restaurant was going great, which didn't surprise me one bit. She was talented.

Her sister and Dave had another child, and her brother was engaged.

Then she told me she was single, and that shocked me. Hadn't she been seeing a guy? What happened to him?

"Yeah, well you know that we dated for two years?" I nodded, and she continued.

"For about two years he also cheated on me. I had my suspicions, and then one day I walked in on him and my so called best friend. He tried to deny it even though he knew I had seen them. Hasn't spoken to either one of them since that day." Her words enraged me. I would find that son of a bitch, and teach him one thing or another.

"What was his last name?" I asked, trying to hide the anger I was feeling. It didn't work very well, and Soph had always been able to read me.

"Dean, no."

"But that jerk hurt you!" I said, and I could see it in her eyes. He had hurt her bad, and I didn't want her hurt. I wanted her happy, and the son of a bitch named Eric sure as hell didn't deserve someone like her.

"Yeah, and that's life. Besides, it probably wouldn't have worked out anyway."

"You know, I really don't understand the way you look at things."

"And you never will," she smiled. She _smiled._ She was talking about a guy that had hurt her, and she smiled. I sure as hell didn't. I was planning some way to hurt him.

But I saw her expression, and knew that the subject she was trying so hard to avoid would come up soon. I told her to come closer, and she took a seat in my lap. Right where I wanted her.

I wrapped my arms around her, and loved the feeling of her in my arms again after so long.

I told her it was a good thing she was so small, or else she wouldn't have fitted so good there.

She responded the way she always did, and so did I. I told her we should find the shortest person in her family and blame that person for her shortness. She laughed for a short moment, and then sighted.

I knew the words would be said soon.

"I missed you, Dean," she said, and I pulled her a little closer. She had no idea of how much I had missed her, too.

"I missed you too, Soph," I told her.

"And I really miss my mom." There it was. Even if it was just a whisper, it was said. She had finally said it, the words I had wanted to hear all morning. Because she needed to accept the fact that her mom was gone if she was going to live like she used to again. She would always miss her, of course she would. But she just had to learn how to live with that loss. And I would help her the best I could.

I let her cry without saying something, I just held her in my arms and let her get it all out.

When the tears eventually stopped running, I said something. Because I couldn't stand to see her like this.

"I forgot to tell you something about my life," I said, and knew that I could probably get a small smile out of her at least.

"Yeah, what's that?"

"Sammy's a freak." She even laughed, so I did too.

"I heard that," Sam said from behind, and I was a little startled. I had completely forgotten about the fact that he was still here. He took a seat at the table, and looked at Soph who smiled a little.

"But since your laughing, I'll let it pass," he said and returned the smile.

"You're not a freak, Sam," she said and sounded so sure of her thing. Like she knew everything.

But I hadn't told her everything, because everything wasn't mine to tell.

"I'm going to let you have a second opinion about that when you hear what I mean," I said, and Sam snorted from across the table.

"You're just jealous," he told me.

"I don't think so, dude." Yeah, like I would be jealous of visions? Visions that kinda freaked me out everytime he had one...

"Sam, what is Dean so jealous about?" Soph asked, and I mocked another shocked expression.

This time she ignored it, and I suppressed a sigh. It hadn't helped this time.

Sam started to tell her about his visions and why he had them and about all the others who were out there. When he had told her everything, she looked like she was thinking it all through.

It was a lot of information to get in one day, and her day before had been rough.

But I knew she wouldn't think of him as a freak, it just wasn't in her nature.

"You're not a freak, Sam," she said, and I smiled as did Sam. But then she gasped and were standing. "Oh god, is that the time?" she asked, and I looked at the clock. Ten fifty three.

It was about twenty minutes until she was supposed to be at the cemetery. I offered her to use our shower, but she turned it down saying she didn't have any extra clothes.

"C'mon, let's do like in the good old days," I said, and she smiled at me.

I knew she wouldn't take the offer, even though she was probably considering it.

I knew she wouldn't go to her father's grave in my clothes. I knew she enjoyed watching me eat her food, and I enjoyed seeing her wear my clothes. It was probably weird, but I had always thought she looked better in my shirts then her own. And she liked wearing them.

Just as she turned down the offer, Sam's phone called. He excused himself and walked of the room.

We talked some more; about how she sometimes wished normal lives for us. But I told her what she already knew. That if we weren't who we were, she would be dead and we never would have met her. She didn't have the time to say anything before Sam's voice was heard.

"But Ellen, we can't come by today, or any day soon." Ellen was the one who had called?

I had forgotten about her too, and the meeting tomorrow. Sam and I had made a silent agreement yesterday to stay here until the funeral was over, and spending time with Soph. Being there for her. Being the support she needed.

"Sam, give me the phone," I said loudly, and a few seconds later he walked inside with it, looking annoyed. I could understand that Ellen wanted us at the meeting, but leaving wasn't something we would be doing anytime soon.

He gave me the phone, and I left the room.

"Ellen," I said.

"Dean, what is going on? You were supposed to be here by now, or at least have called."

"Something came up," I said and pulled on a pair of jeans, and walked out of the door.

"What do you mean, something came up? Where are you?"

"Friday Harbor, and we're staying for a few weeks at least."

"Dean, you and Sam need to be at that meeting!"

"I know, but right now I don't care. Both Sam and I are staying."

"Is this about the girl Sam mentioned?"

"Yeah, this is about _Sophia_."

"You're skipping the meeting for some girl? Dean, you're worse than I thought!"

"Some girl? _Some_ girl? Ellen, this isn't just some girl. She's my best friend, and she has been for the last ten years. She's family, and her mother died last night. So I'm staying. Let me talk to Ash."

I was loosing my temper. Ellen didn't know anything about this _some girl._ She didn't know how much this girl meant to me.

Ellen didn't say anything, and for a second I thought she wasn't going to let me talk to Ash. But then I heard his voice on the other end.

"She's pissed, what did you do?" I ignored his comment, and went right to business.

"I need you too look up every Eric in Friday Harbor. He's around 25-30 years old."

"That's going to make one hell of a list."

"No, it's a small town. Call me when it's done," I said and hung up. I took a deep breath to steady myself, and then walked back inside.

"Well, I've known you for ten years. I just know you," Sophia was saying.

"She's right, she does know you," I said, and both Sam and Soph looked at me.

I gave a small nod to Sam's questioning eyes, and he seemed to let out a small breath.

"I better go if I want to make it in time," she said and rose. "But can't you come by later?" she added and looked at us both.

"_We_ better go now," I corrected her. "-because you shouldn't drive. And yes we can. Besides, you owe me dinner."

"Dean, you don't have to drive me. I'll be just fine."

"I'm driving you. And don't tell me you haven't been itching to sit in my baby again," I said, knowing she would give in. She had always liked that car, almost as much as I.

"Okay, fine," she agreed, and I followed when she walked.

"See you later," I told Sam who nodded right before I closed the door behind me.

Sophia was already standing by the car, and this time I remembered why the Volvo looked so familiar. I had even been there when she picked it out.

I didn't say anything, and neither did she. It felt nice to just sit in silence, being in each others company again. I took another way to the cemetery, knowing that I would pass the scene of the accident if I took the usual road. And she really didn't need to see that right now. Or ever.

I stopped the car and climbed out when she did, and leaned against the car.

"An hour?" I asked, knowing she always were there for an hour. I'll let her believe I would leave, but of course I wouldn't. I would wait right here.

She nodded and gave me a quick hug before she turned and walked away.

I stood there for a while, watching her walk away. But then I couldn't see her anymore, so I sat back down in the car and turned on the radio. Some crappy love song was on so I changed the channel into something better. _Highway to hell,_ much better.

But I couldn't really concentrate on the music, I was just watching out the window looking for something I couldn't see. I was confused. Even if I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about her.

I tried to tell myself that was only because I was worried about her. But was that entirely true?

Yes, of course I was worried. She was family, and I loved her. So of course I was mad at this Eric for hurting her. Of course I never wanted to loose her, I never wanted to let her out of my sight now when I had her back in my life again. I had always thought of her as family, but never like a sister.

I knew Sam saw her like that, and she used to call him her little brother. How did she see me? Like a big brother, protecting her? I wanted to protect her, but I didn't want her to see me as a brother. I wanted her to see me as something else. Something more.

I sighed, more confused. It felt like I would never understand my feelings for her.

And thinking about them just seemed to confuse me more. I just knew that I had never really loved someone, and she's the closest I've ever come to _love. _

Maybe if I just let things be, let my feelings lead me?

But at the same time I didn't want to tell her, because I didn't want to loose her. I needed her in my life, and she doesn't feel the same way as I do. How could see? She told me only a little more than an hour ago that she enjoyed being single.

I looked at my clock, and found that it had been more than an hour since I dropped her off.

And she still wasn't here. I knew I should leave her, but I didn't want to. I wanted to sit next to her, wiping her tears away and comforting her.

So I climbed out of the car and started to walk. I stopped about ten metres away from her. She was sitting with her back against me, her head leaning against the stone.

I knew I shouldn't be listening, but I heard what she said and didn't try to cut her voice off.

"I don't think I could do something like that. Even though I want mom, and you, back, I just couldn't do it. I'm too selfish for that. So if you see him, tell him thank you. Because I really do want him to know that I am thankful. Thankful for the fact that he made sure Dean would live. And I knew he sold his soul to the devil, but I doubt that he is anywhere else than heaven for what he did…" she trailed off, leaving me speechless. She really though that? She deserved the best for just that though, and I sure as hell wasn't the best she could get. And I had never met someone more unselfish than her…

She was quiet for several minutes before I managed to move and I started to walk slowly toward her.

I sat down beside her, and wrapped one arm around her, leaning her body against mine instead of the cold stone. I ignored my confused emotions and just enjoyed having her in my arms.

I let her cry, neither one of us saying anything. It was already wrong of me to disturb this moment for her, so I wasn't going to say something and destroy it even more.

I don't know how long we sat there before she spoke.

"I need to go home and take a shower… Can you drive me to Tess later?" she whispered.

"Of course, c'mon," I said, and let her lean into my side as we walked away.

I helped her into the car, and then took my seat in the drivers seat. She turned on the radio without saying anything, and I let the channel be on as she watched out the window.

"Where to?" I asked, not sure if she still lived in the same place.

"I haven't moved," she answered simply. I started the car and left the parking space, taking the easiest way to her place.

The song changed and turned into something way to blasé for my taste, and I was about to change when I recognized the song. So I left it on, and could see a small smile playing on her lips through the tears.

"…_I'll be better when I'm older, I'll be the greatest fan of your life. And rain falls angry on the tin roof as we lie awake in my bed. And you're my survival, you're my living proof my love is alive and not dead…"_

She whispered the words that Edwin McCain sang, and I knew exactly what was going on in her mind.

It was her parent's wedding song, and I remembered how she told me once that she remembered seeing her parents dance to this song on their last wedding day together. He died only a month after.

It was amazing that she was only three when he died, but she could still remember him so clearly.

The best memory, the strongest, was just that memory of her parents dancing. She told me they had looked so happy together, and that if someone ever loves her half of what her parents loved each other she would live happy. But she deserved better, she deserved someone who could love her with his whole heart. And not just half of it.

I reached my hand out and she took it.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly, and she looked at me. The tears were drying, but I doubted she had cried for the last time today.

"Yeah. I'm glad they played that song, actually. At least they're together again. Mom never stopped loving him, after so many years. Yes, she did date. But her heart were always taken, and now she's were she belongs. That song made me realize that. When I was at the grave, I just couldn't understand why she was taken so early, why she's not here anymore. But now I do. She lived without him long enough, and now they're finally together again. She waited for so long to have him back. And I know that even if I have to wait for twenty years before I find true love, I know it's worth the wait when I do find it."

She spoke with such determination, and my heart skipped a beat hearing her say that. If I had been confused before, I sure as hell wasn't now. She was right, more than she'll ever know. And that true love she was talking about; I'd already found it. She was sitting next to me, holding my hand. And I would never let her go, even though I was sure she didn't feel the same way about me. But at least now I knew; knew that I loved her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Dean**

I followed her up into the apartment, and noticed that not much had changed.

It still held that really homey feeling that I had never truly felt other than here.

If I were to stay somewhere for the rest of my life, it was definitely here.

She kicked off her shoes and walked barefoot into the living room. I followed her right after I had kicked off mine.

"Now where did I place it?" she murmured to herself, looking for something, and I smiled. She was so cute when she talked to herself. And now, when knowing I loved her, I could really admit it to myself.

I wondered if my love was the reason why I had always liked seeing her in my clothes, and all the other stupid things I had always loved about her.

"What are you looking for?" I asked to distract myself.

"Aha, here it is," she said without answering me and walked over to the stereo with something.

"Listen closely, because this is the only time you'll ever hear this is my apartment," she said and pressed the play button. My favourite song from years ago echoed out of the stereo and I had to chuckle.

"You're telling me you never once listen to this CD?"

"Once of course, since it was a gift," she smiled and so did I. She got that CD from me when we left this town for the first time. Like a memory of me. Something she could play if she missed me.

"So, you never missed me?" I teased, and she smiled softly.

"Nope, never once," she said, and I smiled more. She was in good shape right now, could even make a joke. How long would that keep up?

"You make yourself at home, and I'll take a shower," she said and left the room. I followed her with my eyes for as long as I could, which wasn't for very long. Well, she told me to make myself at home so I walked into the kitchen. She would probably kill me for using her kitchen, but anger was better than sadness.

So I searched the kitchen for the ingredients I knew I would need, and started to cook. This wasn't the first time I made this, but I had always let her do the cooking. She had always loved it, and I loved seeing her happy. And she had always been so much better at it than I would ever be.

Four sandwiches with ham, cheese, tomato and cucumber was done by the time she stepped out of the shower, and I heard her walk into her bedroom.

Sandwiches with ham, cheese, tomato and cucumber was the first 'lunch' we had ever eaten together, and we used to eat it now and then just to remember that first day together.

"Please don't tell me you've been using my kitchen, Dean," she said and I turned around to look at her. Her black hair was moist, hanging heavy over her shoulders. She had a black tank top on, and a jeans skirt that were perfect in this summer heat. There was no makeup on, not that she ever felt the need to wear that. She looked just like herself, and she was more than beautiful. She looked amazing, like she always does.

"You told me to make myself at home," I said, and grinned. She glared at me.

"'Home' don't mean 'be free to use my kitchen'." She had never liked anyone else but her working in her kitchen. Her kitchen was like her happy place, a place where she really didn't care what happened in the outside world. A place where she could let her thoughts wander and a place where her thoughts always had to be focused.

"You won't stay mad at me once you see what I made," I said and turned around to take the two plates with the sandwiches on. I placed them on the table, and took a seat.

"Well, you coming or what?"

"Ham, cheese, tomato and cucumber?" she guessed, now a soft smile playing on her lips, as she sat down opposite to me. She wasn't mad anymore.

"You're damn right it is," I smiled, and started to eat. I had to admit that it would have tasted a lot better if Sophia had made it. How could I screw up sandwiches?

"You didn't screw them up," she said, reading my mind and I chuckled.

"But they would have been better if you made them."

"Yes, they would," she agreed with me and we continued to eat. I was done with both of mines as she was done with her first and half the other one. It looked like she wouldn't eat the rest.

"You want that?" I asked, still a little hungry.

"Yes, I do," she said, and I smiled. It was good that she ate.

"You always did know how to eat," I said as she had finished it a few minutes later.

"I learned from the best, didn't I?" she laughed, and hearing her laugh made me smile.

"When were you supposed to be at your sisters' place?" I asked her, and she looked at the clock on the wall.

"When I was done, which I am. So I guess I'll go know," she said and rose from the table. I did so, too. She took her plate, and I took mine and placed them in the kitchen sink.

"Still no dishwasher?" I asked.

"No," she answered, and smiled at me. Like her kitchen was her happy place, the place where she let her thoughts wander, she had always liked doing the dishes. She once said she didn't need a stupid machine that did the work she could so easily do by herself.

So she had no dishwasher.

"You ready to go?" I asked, and she looked at me, raising one eyebrow.

"It's a block to my sister's house, I can walk." Had she forgotten that she asked me to take her there?

"But you're not," I answered and knew that she wouldn't argue with me. I knew she was perfectly fine with walking one block, but I didn't want to leave her all alone.

She nodded and walked before me to the hallway where she put on a pair of shoes on her feet. Flip flops; she had thought me once what the name was. Like I needed to know the name of a stupid shoe?

But I had listened, only to hear her voice.

She locked the door behind us and I took her to her sister's place. She had moved, so Soph had to tell me where to go. The house was small, but perfect for her little family.

In a way I wanted to go inside and say hello, but I wanted some time alone as well.

Needed to think. So I told her Sam and I would just show up later, around seven. I told her to have dinner ready, and she smiled at me. I would do anything to make her smile, and I would look at every smile of hers as if it was her last. Because she needed to smile, and laugh. And I would make sure she would.

I drove back to the motel in no time, and found Sam sleeping on the bed.

I shook my head and snorted. He had been asleep the entire night, and still he took a nap?

What a geek.

I stepped into a quick shower, and found Sam still asleep when I walked out of it. I only had time to turn on the TV before I heard a gasp behind me and I turned to look around.

Sam was sitting on the bed, panting. He had another dream.

"What?" I asked, knowing this couldn't be good. Not a single one of his dreams had been good.

"Trust me, that was just a dream," he said, and got off the bed and walked into the kitchen. I followed and watched him drink a glass of water.

"It's never just a dream with you Sam," I said when he turned around.

"This one was."

"How can you be so sure?" I asked, and he looked at me.

"I'm not going to tell you what it was about, though," he started and I looked at him impatiently.

"I had a dream about Soph's dad," he said, and shocked me.

"Come again?"

"I can't really understand why, or if it's even something to care about. It might as well be because of all of this happening right now. But I dreamed about her father, and he left… sort of a message?" he made it sound like a question, and then shook his head.

"You gonna tell her about it?"

"I don't know…" he answered me, and now that I knew it wasn't one of his visions, I could relax. And think about what I was planning on thinking about. I sat down at the table and sighed.

All I knew was that now when I had realized that I loved Sophia I couldn't tell her.

I shouldn't tell her. That would just ruin everything between us, and I needed her in my life. I wanted her in my life, and if I told her, she would be scared and get the hell away from it.

I barely noticed Sam sitting opposite to me, staring at me. And the way he was staring at me would have annoyed me any day. But not now, and that's how deep in thought I was.

"Tell me," Sam said and pulled me back to reality.

"What?" I asked, and he raised a brow.

"I've never seen you so deep in thought. Ever. Tell me."

"No," I said and rose from the table. I wasn't going to tell Sam either. This was my dirty little secret.

"When have you ever had a secret from me?" he asked and followed me as I lay down on my bed.

He sat down on his bed, staring at me more.

"Oh, I have lots of secrets," I said, but it wasn't true. Sam and Sophia were the only persons that knew everything about me.

"It's about Soph, isn't it?" he said, all knowingly.

"No."

"You have feelings for her," he stated, and I didn't let my face tell him how true he was. But on the inside I was more than shocked that he figured it out. I didn't say anything, only making him more sure of his thing.

"So, when did you finally realize it?" _Finally? _What did he mean with that?

"Finally?" I asked, and looked at him.

"Oh Dean, come on! You've loved that girl since the first time you saw her, you just haven't realized it. You never wanted to put your heart out there, and get it broken."

I closed my eyes, and turned my head right up. I was staring at the ceiling through my closed eyes.

I tried not to, but I pictured Sophia's face. All of her smiles – the way she could look at me sometimes. Or the way she always knew how to make me feel better. The way she could say something – the words she used, the way she said it on...

God, this was bad. The first time I really fell in love, it had to be her. This could only end badly.

Well, technically it could end perfect too, but since there was no way that she felt the same way this could only end badly.

"Okay, don't say anything," Sam said and I could feel him beginning to stand up.

"Okay, wait," I said, but didn't open my eyes. "Yes, I love her. But I'm not telling her, if that's what you think." It felt much better after I said it. It sounded right. True.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to ruin everything by telling her. She doesn't feel the same, and I want her in my life. If she found out, she would run."

"Don't be so sure."

"I'm not telling her, end of discussion."

**Sophia **

"Are you sure you're not coming inside?" I asked and Dean nodded.

"Better get back to Sam, y'know. Give me your car keys, by the way." I took the keys out of my pocket and gave them to him.

"We'll come by later, okay?" he said, and I nodded.

"See you later," I said, and watched Dean climb back into the car and drive away.

I took a deep breath and walked inside.

"Hey," I said as I walked into the kitchen were I found Tess and Michael, her oldest son that was almost two now.

"Soph," he said and ran up to me, so I picked him up and gave him a gentle hug. It was obvious that he didn't want to leave my arms, so I let him sit on my hip.

"Dean Winchester, huh?" Tess asked, and looked at me all knowingly. What did she think that she knew?

"What about him?"

"He sure is handsome, and you have feelings for him." I almost dropped my chin. My sister had always been very direct and always said what she thought. She was like me.

"What makes you think that?" I asked, shocked.

"The way you looked at him five seconds ago," she said.

"You were looking?" I asked, disbelieving.

"Hey, it's my driveway," she said and picked off a plate from the table and placed it in the dishwasher.

I was still shocked, and didn't say anything for a while. Neither did she as she sat down at the table.

I let Michael go, and took the seat opposite to her.

"What do you mean with feelings?" I asked her, and she raised an eyebrow.

"You love him, right?"

"What makes you think so?"

"Oh, come on. You've known him for ten years, and you've considered him your best friend for the same time. He knows everything about you, and you knows everything about him. You consider him your family."

"So is Sam."

"But you think of Sam as a brother. Dean is more, am I right?"

I sat quiet for a while. I couldn't lie to Tess, she always saw right through me. And she always knew everything. Even the things I didn't know. I could at least tell her how I felt, and she could help me with it. Tess was always the one I had talked feelings with, and she did the same with me.

"I'm confused, Tess. I don't really know how I feel."

"What do you mean?"

"I think I might be in love with him." I sighed. "And today, he was cooking in my kitchen. And I couldn't even be mad at him." It was true. I hated when other people worked in my kitchen. That was _my_ kitchen, and I wanted to be the only one cooking there. But for some reason it didn't bother me when that person was Dean.

"Then why are you confused? If you can't even stay mad at him for that, then it's more than obvious that you love him."

"You think so?"

"I know so." I thought about what she said, and she was right. I was in love with him.

"I love him," I whispered when I realized it, and Tess smiled. The words sounded so right. True.

"So when are you telling him?"

"I'm not. It's going to be too complicated, and he doesn't feel the same way. Besides, if I told him, I could loose him. He's my best friend, and I need him in my life."

"Okay, then don't tell him. But at least follow your heart, okay?"

"Okay," I agreed.

---

I walked into my apartment without thinking about the day.

I didn't want to think about it. Yes, I had realized I loved Dean and that was good.

But that was the only good thing about this day so far.

We hadn't spent any more time talking about him. We just talked about mom, and cried, and talked more and cried more. Rob had came over, and together we had started to plan a little for the funeral.

This day had been rough, and now I needed to not think about it.

So I started with dinner, just to force myself to think of something else.

It took my almost an hour and half to get the food done, and when I was someone knocked on the door. I turned off the oven, and went to see who it was, even though I already knew.

Sam and Dean both gave me a hug when I let them inside, and I walked away to the kitchen to take out some plates and glasses. Dean raised an eyebrow when he saw how much food I had made, and I knew what he was thinking. He knew cooking distracted me, so he knew exactly why I had made so much food.

He didn't do anymore than to raise the eyebrow, and he didn't say anything. He knew I didn't want to talk about it.

"It's a lot of food, so eat," I said as I placed the food on the table.

"I'm glad to do so," Dean said, and Sam laughed as they dug in.

I was hungrier that I thought I was, and with Dean and Sam there most of the food disappeared.

But I still had a lot left, and I had to freeze it. And I would give some to both Tess and Rob.

"Soph, can I talk to you for a second?" Sam asked as the dishes was done. Dean shot a knowing look at him, and Sam nodded. Dean left the room, and I was confused.

"Okay, talk," I said as I placed the food in the freezer.

"You might want to sit down," Sam said seriously and for a second I was afraid. So I sat down, and waited for him to talk.

"You know about my visions and dreams?" he asked, and I nodded.

"I had one today." I had a really confusing feeling about this. He wouldn't talk to me about it if it wasn't about me. So that couldn't be good. But at the same time I had a strange feeling that this was what I was looking for. Like I said, confusing.

"What was it about?"

"You, I guess. Well, it was sort of a message."

"From who?"

"You dad. I don't know why he came to me, but he did. And this is something I haven't experienced before, so I don't know if I should really believe it. But I have a feeling that I should tell you about it. And I usually follow these kind of feelings." He took a short pause, letting me melt everything. Truth be told, I didn't know if I believed him. He didn't even believe it himself. But I knew Sam wouldn't do this to hurt me, so I would listen to him.

"What did he say?" my voice was only a whisper.

"Something about that you were at a crossroad, and needed advice. He said that you should use your head, but follow your heart." It couldn't be just a coincidence that I had asked dad for advise earlier that day, but I still didn't fully believe Sam.

"I understood all of that, but then he said something I didn't understand. I've been thinking about it, and the only explanation would be that you understood and he knew that. He said that when you had followed your heart, you should let your miracle see it."

The tears started to fall again, because now I knew Sam was telling the truth. My dad had really come to him in a dream, and I believed him. Because there was no way possible that he could know the things he just said, even if he wanted to. The first things he could have just made up, but the part about the miracle… that was dad. My miracle was our secret, a secret I had never once shared with anyone else than dad.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked, worried by my tears.

"Yeah. I need… I need…" I started but trailed off and rose from the table. I started to walk into the living room, where I found Dean looking at my music. I ignored him, and looked for what I wanted.

I crossed the living room, and walked into the spare room I had. That's were I had all the crap that I would never use. That's were I had the alcohol. The alcohol I had never taken a zip from.

But I sure would now. There had already been so much during these last twenty-four hours, and now the message from dad was too much.

"God, where the hell is it?" I asked myself as I looked around the room, and finally found the vodka bottle I had been given when I turned twenty-five a few months ago from Tess and Rob. They thought it was time for me to start drinking, and I guess it was.

I took the bottle in my right hand and stomped off into the kitchen where I took two glasses. I could see Dean clearly give Sam a look that said 'you-had-to-tell-her?', but I ignored it and took a seat in the sofa in the living room right after I had put on some music. Not that I even noticed what music it was. Dean and Sam took their seats in the sofa next to me.

"You want some?" I asked, and they both shook their heads.

"Soph, you don't even like alcohol," Dean protested right before I placed the bottle to my mouth.

And he was right. It tasted like crap mixed with crap. I grimaced and took another gulp.

Dean took the bottle out of my hand, and I glared at him.

"Give it to me," I said, and he shook his head. So I gave him the puppy dog eyes I knew he couldn't resist. He looked at me disapprovingly, but held some vodka in one of the glasses.

I was satisfied with having some to drink, but Sam looked at Dean with a glare.

"It's your fault she even wants this," I heard Dean said as I drank it up.

"More," I said, and Dean filled it again. I placed it against my lips, and almost threw up at the taste. But I swallowed and ignored the fact that I wanted to spit it out.

"More," I said, but Dean shook his head.

"Sam," he said and gave him the bottle before I could give him my puppy dog eyes again.

I glared at him, and followed Sam with my eyes as he walked into the kitchen with the bottle.

"You know he's pouring it all out," I told Dean, and he shrugged.

"I know."

"And you don't care?"

"Soph. You've never been drinking before, and you sure as hell shouldn't start now. I don't know what Sam told you, but it can't be that bad. Because if it was, he would have told me, too. And then I would have been drinking with you."

I looked at him, and started to feel all warm inside. And I felt a little sick.

By the time Sam came back, several minutes later, I could feel the vodka get to me.

My head started to spin, and I didn't feel any better than I had ten minutes ago.

This was just letting me know I would never drink again. Ever.

It wasn't just that I didn't like the taste, I just felt like I didn't need the alcohol in me.

I could have fun without it, and basically it was just poison. No good.

That's why I had never been drinking before, except the time I had tasted alcohol for the first time. That was with Dean when I was sixteen. That day I had promised myself I would never drink again.

But then I didn't know this day would come.

I moved myself so that I sat right next to Dean, and he wrapped one arm around me. I leaned against his side, and enjoyed being so close to him.

When no one said anything, I decided that should change.

"What did Ellen want?" I whispered, and it took a moment for Dean to answer.

"Nothing you need to care about. So, how are you feeling?" he changed the subject.

Well, two could play that game.

"Like shit. She obviously wanted something, because Sam was annoyed and you were angry after you talked to her."

Sam was the one who answered my question.

"Before we decided to come here, we were on our way to Ellen. There is this meeting tomorrow that she wants us to be on…"

"But you're staying here instead…" I finished for him. This was just stupid. They had a meeting tomorrow that they should be on, but they stayed here instead? Why? Just plain stupid. I told them so, but of course they argued.

"Listen Soph. Even if… The moment we saw the sign, we knew we wanted to stay here and meet you. So we would have missed the meeting anyway. It's nothing important, so…"

"Sam, this is ridiculous. That's your work, and you should be at the meeting."

"But you're family, Soph. And they're not. We've barely known them for a year, so we would rather be here."

"That's just… stupid," I muttered and closed my eyes. I could really feel the alcohol in my system now. My head was almost spinning, and my thoughts were starting to get a little incoherent.

I swore to myself I would never drink again.

And since this was my first time, no wonder I could feel it so well…

"Why do people drink?" I muttered, and both Dean and Sam chuckled but no one answered my question.

"Well, you're not drinking anymore tonight," Dean said gently.

"Believe me, I'm never drinking again." I heard them laugh again.

It couldn't be late, and I didn't want to open my eyes to watch the clock. But I was already getting tired. I suppose I had had a long day, and yesterday was just… the longest and worse day ever.

"What time is it?" I asked a few moments of silence later.

"Nine, and no, it's not too early to go to bed," Dean answered me.

"But I'm too tired to move," I complained, and was more than ready to lay down and sleep on the couch when Dean got up and lifted me up from the couch.

"You're not sleeping on the couch," he said and I could feel him walking under me.

I didn't open my eyes until I was lying on the bed, and found Dean sitting on the bed next to me.

For some strange reason, all I could think about was one thing. And a little drunk as I was, I said it.

"You know, you would look so much better with a little longer hair. And Sam… he should get a haircut." Dean laughed, and shook his head.

"You should sleep," he said, so I closed my eyes and turned so that I laid with my back against him.

It only took me a minute to fully relax, and then I was asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, so here is chapter five. **

**As usual, let me know what you think.**

**Sophia **

My head was throbbing. Not hard, but enough. I suppressed a groan as I sat up.

The morning sun was shining through my bedroom window, and I heard no noices from the apartment. I had no idea of what the time was, but I knew that I had to get down to the restaurant and close it for a few days. Because I hadn't the will to work right now, and it was just me and a few more that were working. It was a small but sucessfull business.

I got up from the bed slowly, and noticed that I still had the clothes from yesterday on me.

I pulled off my skirt and put on a pair of pyjama pants with too long legs. I almost had to hold them up so that I wouldn't stumble on them. I changed my tanktop to a oversized t-shirt. I wasn't planning on going anywhere today.

I shuffled my way out into the kitchen, where I found Dean sitting at the table. I shouldn't really be surprised that he was still here, but a small part of me was. And that part was happy.

He looked up when he saw me, and grinned.

"Mornin' sunshine."

"Shut up," I muttered, and walked toward the kitchen sink where I poured myself a glass of water.

Then I swallowed the water with a headache tablet. It took me a moment to realize that Dean was holding a book in his hand. And he did look _up _at me when I walked inside... What book was he reading? I turned around to look at him, and noticed it was my book.

I raised an eyebrow at him, and he seemed a little ashamed that I had caught him with a book.

"Eh... I saw it, and it looked interesting..." I sat down opposite to him as he tried to exuse himself.

"It's my favorite book, and why are you reading the end?"

"It was too slow in the beginning. And it's not like I would read the whole anyway. It's so _thick._"

"But you can't start reading at the saddest part, which is the end. Even though the whole book is tradgic."

"Tradgic? Why?" this time he raised one of his eyebrows.

"Give me the book," I demanded, and he did. I opened it and found the right page. Which was no problem since I had read it so many times.

I told him quickly what the book was about, and he looked a little confused.

"Okay, so it's about a soul? And she's on this planet, with a bunch of resistant humans? And the man who loves her body is all mean, but she loves him? And then there is this Ian guy, who is in love with the soul itself?"

"You made is sound all wrong, but yes."

"What's so sad about that?" he asked, and I shook my head.

"Maybe not that, but it's the way everything is described. It's the words that you read that just makes you fall in love with the book itself. The book is about love, a love that shouldn't even exist. But yet it does, and it makes you feel hopeful. Like this quote;" I said, and took a short pause before I read directly from the book.

"_What was it that made this human love so much more desirable to me than the love of my own kind? Was it because it was exclusive and capricious? The souls offered love and acceptance to all. Did I crave a greater challenge? This love was tricky; it had no hard-and-fast rules – it might be given for free, as with Jamie, or earned through time and hard work, as with Ian, or completely and heartbreakingly unattainable, as with Jared. Or was it simply better somehow? Because these humans could hate with so much fury, was the other end of the spectrum that they could love with more heart and zeal and fire? I didn't know why I had yearned after it so desperately. All I knew was that, now that I had it, it was worth every ounce of risk and agony it had cost. It was better then I had imagined. It was everything." _

"It's just so beautifully described," I murmured right after and looked down into the book. I had always thought this book had a perfect amount of tradgic and sadness in it, but now I thought it was more sad than before. It was about loving someone with your whole heart, and letting that person in completely. In the book it ended well, but in my reality it wouldn't. Which made it sadder.

"That was pretty... intense," Dean said, a little taken aback.

It was quiet for a second, before he spoke again.

"So, it's your favorite book? How many times have you read it?" I nearly rolled my eyes. He knew me too well.

"Five, and I cried every time." Dean chuckled.

"Okay, favorite quote?"

"Too easy. Page 570; _You are not leaving me,"_ I said without hesitation.

"Why?"

"_Why?_ Haven't you listened to everything I just said?"

"Yes, but that doesn't answer the question." I sighed, and thought about it. I had to think for a minute before I found the answer I wanted.

"Because... Wanda is Ian's true love, and he would do anything for her. He would do everything in his power, and more, to save her if something happened to her. And now she's choosing to leave this world. She's giving herself up, to save Mel. She's leaving her only love, her true partner, but she's doing it to give Mel her life back. So with these words, Ian is trying to make her stay. Stay with him, stay with everyone else who loves her. He's telling her that he loves her, and that he never wants to be away from her. It's just so sad, and heartbreaking."

"You read too much, you know that right?"

I ignored Dean's comment, and smiled at him instead.

I wished that there was just some way to tell him that I was just like Ian; that I loved him with my whole heart and never wanted to be apart from him again. That I would do anything for him.

But there was no way; no way without making him go away and never coming back.

---

The week passed slowly, and every day looked almost like the other.

I would spend the days with Tess and Rob, planning for the funeral. The date was set, and it would be this weekend. Only a week after she died. We all thought that it would be better if it were quick, and we could get it behind us. This was the hardest part, and we just wanted to get it behind us.

Wanted to move on with our lives, mourning in our own ways.

The nights were spent with Dean and Sam, in my apartment or in their motelroom.

I never slept alone. If I were in the motel, I would just sleep next to Dean at night.

And if the nights were spent at my apartment, Dean took the guestroom. I didn't want to be alone, and it felt good not to be.

I had closed the restaurant down, and I would keep it closed for a few weeks. A month even maybe.

I just didn't have the will or strenght to do work right now. And I had enough money to close it down for a year. So I weren't worried about that.

As every day passed, I could feel my emotions for Dean getting stronger. I wasn't at all confused anymore, and I was starting to think that maybe I should follow dad's advice to follow my heart.

It scared me to even think about telling him, but at the same time dad had told me to use my head and follow my heart. And following my heart lead me to telling Dean. And the truth was that I just couldn't... _ignore_ dad - or my feelings.

So when Sam left my apartment Saturday night to go back to the motel, I decided I would tell him.

I just didn't know how I would do it.

"You okay?" Dean asked when it had been quiet for almost twenty minutes. But as always with us, it wasn't uncomfortable with silence. It was always a comfortable silence between us.

"I don't know," I told him honestly. I had no idea. The funeral was tomorrow, and I was nervous about telling him.

"You should sleep. Tomorrow is going to be hard," he said softly, and I almost smiled.

"I know. But I won't be able to sleep tonight, both you and I know that."

"Then do you mind telling me what's been on your mind all day?" he asked. I wasn't surpised that he knew I had been thinking about something all day. He just didn't know it was him.

"It's just the message from dad..."

"Oh," I heard him say, and I scooped closer to him. I was almost close enough to touch him. Almost.

"Sam never told you what it was about?"

"No, and you don't have to," he answered me, looking into my eyes. I could see that he wanted to know, but he wouldn't ask for it. I ignored his comment, and started to talk.

"You know it was his birthday, and when I was at the grave I sort of asked for advice about something. So the way I see it dad gave me advice through Sam. He said that I was at a crossroad, which I was. Still am, I suppose. He told me to use my head, and to follow my heart. And then he told me to let my miracle see my heart." I took a short pause, and Dean didn't say anything.

"It wasn't really until today that I realized I should listen to him, and my heart. I've been confused for a while now, but in a way dad helped me. So I'm following his advise."

"And this miracle?" Dean asked. I smiled, knowing it would come.

"That miracle is the only secret I have. I never told anyone but my dad."

"Then why do I get the feeling you're telling me?"

"Because I am."

"But this is something you share with your father. If you tell me, it's not a secret anymore."

"I don't want it to be a secret anymore."

When Dean didn't say anything I continued to talk.

"It was my birthday when I told him. I walked down to his grave that night, and sat there for almost two hours talking about my miracle. I was so happy, and told him that I never wanted to loose that feeling of safety I had right then. Never wanted to loose my miracle. In a way, I fell in love that day. I just never truly realized it until long after... When I talked about my miracle, I never used the term miracle. Unless it was with dad of course. Sometimes, I still use the term miracle when I talk about it with him."

"And when it wasn't with your dad?" I could see a strange twist of hope, confusion and nervousness in his eyes. A mix I couldn't understand.

And I had never seen Dean nervous.

"Then I called it by it's real name."

"What name?"

I took a deep breath. This was is. This was the moment where I would expose my whole heart to the man I loved. My miracle. And I was scared to life.

"Dean Winchester."

**Dean**

As the week passed, and I spent more and more time with Sophia I fell more and more in love with her. Sam laughed at my sometimes hopeless expressions, and I tried my best to ignore him.

But it was getting harder and harder, and I knew that I had to tell her.

But her mother's funeral was tomorrow, and I would wait until after. She had enough on her mind already. I told Sam I would tell her, and he thought I should do it as soon as possible.

Not that I would.

I could see that she had been deep in though almost the entire day, and thought that I should talk to her about it. But I waited until Sam had left. For some reason, I wanted to talk to her alone about it.

"You okay?" I asked when she hadn't said anything for almost twenty minutes. She didn't look okay. Not that I expected her to be so, since it was her mother's funeral tomorrow.

"I don't know," she told me, and I heard the truth in her words. Saw it in her eyes.

"You should sleep. Tomorrow is going to be hard," I told her, and she almost smiled at me. She was so beautiful.

"I know. But I won't be able to sleep tonight, both you and I know that."

"Then do you mind telling me what's been on your mind all day?" I asked, wanting to know.

"It's just the message from dad..." she trailed off, her voice suddenly nervous.

"Oh," I said, and noticed how she scooped closer to me. She was close enough to touch, and I nearly did. But I kept myself in control.

"Sam never told you what it was about?" she asked softly.

"No, and you don't have to." She looked into my eyes, and I knew that she would.

"You know it was his birthday, and when I was at the grave I sort of asked for advice about something. So the way I see it dad gave me advice through Sam. He said that I was at a crossroad, which I was. Still am, I suppose. He told me to use my head, and to follow my heart. And then he told me to let my miracle see my heart." The first part I could understand. And the part where her dad told her to follow her heart, and use her head. That was good advice. But I had no idea of what to think about the miracle...

"It wasn't really until today that I realized I should listen to him, and my heart. I've been confused for a while now, but in a way dad helped me. So I'm following his advise."

"And this miracle?" I wanted to know what it was. And why she called it her miracle.

"That miracle is the only secret I have. I never told anyone but my dad." Then she shouldn't tell me.

"Then why do I get the feeling you're telling me?"

"Because I am."

"But this is something you share with your father. If you tell me, it's not a secret anymore."

"I don't want it to be a secret anymore." I had nothing to say to that.

"It was my birthday when I told him. I walked down to his grave that night, and sat there for almost two hours talking about my miracle. I was so happy, and told him that I never wanted to loose that feeling of safety I had right then. Never wanted to loose my miracle. In a way, I fell in love that day. I just never truly realized it until long after... When I talked about my miracle, I never used the term miracle. Unless it was with dad of course. Sometimes, I still use that term miracle when I talk about it." A strange feeling of hope started to swell inside me when she said it was her birthday. But at the same time I was confused, and nervous. Nervous, because I had no idea of what she was going to tell me. And confused, because this really couldn't be about me. Or could it? She told me she fell in love that day... I fighted the hope back and didn't let her see my emotions.

"And when it wasn't with your dad?" I asked instead.

"Then I called it by it's real name."

"What name?"

I held my breath, as I could see her taking a deep breath.

"Dean Winchester." Her voice was only a whisper, but I heard her. This was unbelievable.

What was she telling me? That she loved me? How was that even possible?

It was everything I wanted, and everything I knew couldn't be. How could she love me, knowing what I do every day?

"So, what you're telling me is...?" I had to make sure.

"I love you, Dean." She spoke with such conviction that I just had to believe her. She left me no other choice.

When I didn't say anything, too overwhelmed to talk, she started to babble.

"I knew I shouldn't have said anything. Please, can you just forget that I said this? Just forget the last hour, and live on like normal? Because I need you, you're my best friend, and I can forget this feelings.. I really shouldn't have told you, of course you don't love me." She was doubting herself, and I needed to make her shut up. Because there was no way in hell that I would ever forget this moment, or even wanted to. This was the moment I had dreamed about for so long, and I wanted it more than anything. But she kept on talking, kept on babbling. Nothing I could say would make her be quiet. So I did the only thing I could think of. The only thing I wanted to do.

I leaned in so fast that she had no chance of stopping me, and cupped her face in my hand right before I pressed my lips against hers. It felt so right, so... I couldn't even describe it in words.

But she didn't kiss me back. I had caught her by surprise, and did the only thing she hadn't expected.

So I leaned out, and made sure I held her eyes. I tried to pour as much intensity and conviction in my eyes as I possibly could. Then I told her what she wanted to hear.

"I love you."

It took a second, but then her eyes and face lit up with a huge smile. I only had time to enjoy watching it for a short moment before she closed her eyes and attacked my lips with hers.

My eyes closed, like a reflex, and I kissed her back with everything I had in me.

Never once when I had kissed someone, it had felt like this. This right. So perfect. Like we were created to fit each other perfectly. Where she touched me, it felt like I was on fire.

And I couldn't breathe. I didn't _want_ to breathe.

I just wanted to be frozen in this moment forever.

But of course that was impossible, and the kiss had to end since we had to breathe.

When I looked into her eyes, so deep and brown and beautiful, I knew I wanted to sit here all night, just kissing her and telling her how much I loved her.

But she was going to have a long day tomorrow, and she needed to sleep.

At least now I knew I could be there for her in every way I wanted to.

I kissed her again, not as rough this time, and my lips lingered on hers for a few seconds.

"We could do this all night, Soph, but you need to sleep," I whispered against her lips, and she sighed. She wanted it as much as I did, but she knew I was right.

"We have our whole lives for this," I told her, hoping like hell that it was true, before I kissed her.

"I love you," she whispered again as our lips broke apart, and my heart felt like it was going to explode. I had never felt like this before, and now when I felt it, I never wanted to let go of the feeling. Never wanted to loose this. Never wanted to loose my girl. And I wasn't planning on it.

"Love you, too," I said, and knew that if I wouldn't get her to bed soon, we would be awake all night.

So reluctantly I let go of her, and stood up. She rose the second after I did, and took my hand when I reached it out to her. We walked into her bedroom together, and I dropped her hand when she changed her shorts into a more comfortable pair that she could sleep in.

I pulled off my jeans and laid down beside her under the covers, and scooped her closer into my embrace. She pressed her lips softly against mine before she sighed and leaned her head against my chest. It didn't take long at all for her to fall asleep in my arms, and then I too relaxed and fell asleep enjoying having her so close to me.

---

I looked at her, not at all ready to leave her.

But she was supposted to be at the church in an hour, and Sam was outside waiting already.

"Dean, I'll see you in two hours again."

"Call me if there is _anything_," I said, and she nodded.

"Good," I said, and pressed my lips against her one time. Then two, three times.

"See you soon, love you."

"Love you too," she answered, a soft smile on her lips. I smiled as I saw it, and then left her appartment.

Soph and I had been talking all morning about us. Our feelings, our future, what to do next. All we had really figured out was that we loved each other, and we didn't want to be apart from each other.

She suggested that she could follow us on the road, but I didn't want that. That was just too dangerous, and I would rather die than to see her get hurt.

She said that she could just be at the motel all the time, but even that was a risk I wasn't willing to take. But at the same time, leaving her here meant the same risk.

I would talk to Sam about it, see if he had a good suggestion. It wasn't like Soph could ask for advice from her family, since they had no idea of that I was going for a living.

I wanted her to stay here – live her life, and continue with the restaurant.

But I wanted her with me, too.

The only thing we had really come to a conclusion about was that Sam and I would leave town and go to the roadhouse for a few days. We needed to know what was going on in the world of supernatural, and to be honest Sam and I were worried about Ellen. We hadn't heard from her since we told her we wouldn't be at the meeting, and it wasn't like her not to call and let us know what had happened.

Sam and I, or at least I, would return to Friday Harbor and Sophia. I had no idea of how long I would stay, but as long as I was with her everything would be perfect.

"Sam, I need help," I said as soon as I had climbed into the car.

"Hello to you too," he answered me, and then got serious. "With what?"

"Okay, first off; you and I are going to the roadhouse in a few days. We need to talk to Ellen about the meeting, and we'll stay for a few days. And then I'm going back here."

"Looks like you have everything under control," he chuckled, and started the car.

"Look, smartass, Sophia and I talked..."

"You told her?" he interuppted me.

"I didn't have to. She told me first. So we talked, and we love each other. But I don't want her on the road with us, Sammy. It's too dangerous. But at the same time, I don't ever want to let her out of my sight."

"Then let her follow with us, Dean. She's safe with us. You would protect her with your life, and if you weren't there to do so, you know I would."

"I know. But I... I don't want her living our life, Sam. I want her to have a _home,_ some place she can be safe. I want her to have a normal life."

"I can understand what you mean, and I agree with you. But isn't that her decision to make?" he asked, and I couldn't argue with him. Sophia had never let someone else make decisions for her, and she wouldn't start now. This was a lost case, and I knew it.

I didn't answer him, and he didn't say anything.

He parked the car, and we both climbed out. He didn't say anything until we were inside.

"So, what did you two do last night?" his serious tone was gone, and now he was just annoying.

"It's not like that, Sammy. I love her, and I wouldn't do that."

"So, what, just kissing?"

"Not that you need to know, but yes. Kissing."

"Was it good?" he grinned, and I fought the urge to throw something at him.

"Shut up," I said instead, and walked into the bathroom to take a shower.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks to all of my reviewers.  
****Here is the next chapter, and chapter seven will be up in a few days. **

**Dean **

I climbed out of the car, and locked it the second Sam was out too.

I felt very uncomfortable in the suit, but I couldn't really go to a funeral with comfortable clothes.

I just couldn't say no when Sophia had asked us to come to the funeral. I could never say no to her.

And I _wanted_ to be here for her.

I looked around myself. There was already people here, people I've all meet.

The funeral was going to be small, just the closest family and friends.

But in a town like this everyone knows everyone, so I guessed a lot of flowers would be sent.

And everyone loved Deb. Just like her daughter, she was impossible not to like.

Sam and I found Soph standing with her brother and sister, and their families.

I hesitated for a short second before I walked up to them, Sam following me.

"Hey, Dean," Tess said, and I gave her a hug.

"I'm sorry," I said, and she nodded as she leaned out of the hug.

"Robert," I said, and nodded at him when he looked at me. His eyes narrowed a little bit.

It was almost scary how much he looked like their father.

"Dean, Sam," he said, and I turned my attention from him to Soph. She looked better than expected, but didn't she always? Her black hair was was displayed in a stylish hairdo. It looked good, but I had always preferred it when it was let out and hanging loose over her shoulders.

She had a beautiful black dress on, that fitted her body perfectly. The dress would have been plain on anyone else but her, but she carried it up in a way only she could.

I could see how uncomfortable she was in her black heels, she had never liked those.

I was ready to lean in and give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek, not knowing if she had told anyone and not really knowing how intimite we could be. But she surprised me and changed my kiss on the cheek into a chaste kiss on the lips. She wouldn't have done that if she hadn't told them.

But I didn't want to make her uncomfortable, so I only kissed her back for a second and then let go.

I could see Sam almost grinning at the sight, and Tess was smiling softly. I didn't look at her brother, knowing he probably wouldn't be as happy.

"Dean, can I talk to you?" I heard him say, and Soph shot a glance at him. It looked like she was almost warning him... I nearly rolled my eyes.

"Sure," I said, and followed him as he walked away. He stopped outside, where it was empty of people.

"You knows she loves you, right?" he asked, and I almost rolled my eyes again. He was giving me the brother-to-boyfriend-speech. I had never experienced one in my life, but I had heard rumors that they could be scary. That wasn't possible with Rob being younger than me, and not as big. But he was very tall... Surprisingly tall with his sisters being so short.

I listened as he spoke, and answered the questions he had. When he seemed satisfied, he left me with a treath.

"If you hurt her it's going to be the last thing you'll do," he said. I almost wanted to ask him what he had done to Eric, who seemed just fine when I had talked to him...

But I didn't, and watched him walk away. I waited for a few seconds, and then walked back inside.

I found Sam standing alone at the place we had just been on, and he grinned more at me.

"Please tell me he gave you the speech," he said, and this time I did roll my eyes.

"Aren't those supposed to be... scary?" I asked, and he nodded.

"Luckily, Jess didn't have a brother," he said a little distant, and then returned to me.

"So, he wasn't scary?"

"Come on, Sammy. You can be scarier than him. First, he's younger than you. Second, he doesn't really know what we do for a living."

People were starting to move around us, so Sam didn't have a chance to answer me.

"I think it's time, c'mon," I said, and we followed everyone outside.

Sophia had left some space next to her where both me and Sam could fit, and I wrapped my arm around her, holding her close. She needed it. She leaned into my side, and we stood like that during the whole cermony. I wanted to wipe her tears away, but I let them fall. I could comfort her better when we were alone anyway, so...

---

"I hate leaving you like this," I said, and wiped away the single tear that rolled down her cheek.

The funeral was four days ago, and Sam and I really had to go to the roadhouse.

I knew I would see Soph in a week again, and I would call her everyday, but I still hated leaving her alone. I knew she had her family, but...

"Dean, you know you need to go," she said softly, and leaned into my hand that cupped her face.

"That doesn't mean I like it," I said, and she smiled.

"I don't like it either, but we'll talk on the phone. I'll be okay, and I'll see you soon enough."

I sighed, and leaned down to give her a kiss. I took her upper lip and sucked on it gently, as she took my bottom and did the same. The kiss was gentle, and lasted for a few moments.

"Here, take this," I said, and gave her my watch. "In case you miss me," I said when she looked at the clock in my hand with questioning eyes.

"Dean, I already have the CD for that." She looked up at me, and smiled.

"But you won't listen to it, you said it yourself."

"Okay," she gave up and took the watch from me. I gave her another quick kiss.

"I'll call you later, 'kay?"

"Yeah. Love you."

"Love you more," I said, and with that I turned around and left.

Sam was already sitting in the passenger seat, letting me drive. I needed to drive, to think about something else other than leaving her. And he knew that.

"This is a nice change," he said after about two hours in the car. He confused me.

"What is?"

"You being like this."

"Being like what?"

"Happy, and in love. It's just great to see you having this."

"It's not that I ever realized I wanted it, but now that I do... I'm not ready to give it up."

"That's how it's supposed to be."

I felt a little uncomfortable talking to him about this. Talking to anyone about this. This wasn't really the normal subject. But I guess Sammy is the best one to talk to.

"We don't have to hug, right?" I asked, just making sure. That would be awkward.

Sam laughed, and shook his head. I wanted to get out of this awkward moment so I said the only thing possible.

"Bitch."

"Jerk," he answered me, and we both laughed.

We talked about a little about everything, except Soph, the rest of the hours leading to the roadhouse. He knew I wanted to talk about her, but that I couldn't. That would just made me miss her more. So it was good that he kept me busy with all the other subjects that he had in mind.

It was dark as we reached the roadhouse, and there was about three cars standing outside.

None that I recognized. I locked the door just to be safe, and then we walked inside.

It wasn't full of people, but Ellen and Jo were busy enough not to notice us. Which could possibly be a good thing.

"Dean, Sam," Ash greeted us as he saw us, and I was surprised that he was even awake.

"Hey Ash," Sam said, and Ash looked funny at us both.

"So, ever found that Eric guy you were looking for?" he asked me, and I could sense the glance Sam would give me. I hadn't really told him I was looking for Soph's ex.

"Wait, Eric... Isn't that the name of Soph's ex?" he asked, and I looked at him.

"Well done, smartass."

"So, did you find him?" Ash _really _wanted to know. Couldn't a guy be left alone?

"Yeah, I found him," I muttered and started to walk. I would rather talk to a scary Ellen than to Ash right now. But most of all I wanted to talk to someone who wasn't here.

"What did he ever do to you?" I had never seen Ash this curious.

"That's kinda personal, don't you think?" I glared at him, and he exused himself before he left.

"Thank god," I muttered under my breath.

"So, what did Eric do to you? Or should I say Soph?" Sam asked. _Oh god, not him too._ I suppressed a groan.

"If you really wanna know, he cheated on her while they were together. Now I'm gonna make a phonecall," I said, and left the roadhouse to go outside. I locked myself in the car to be all alone.

**Sophia **

My bed felt so empty. Even though I had always liked havig much space in bed, I couldn't enjoy it now. Because the extra space meant Dean wasn't here.

And I hadn't really slept alone since mom died. I had always had Dean close by, and at the nights of the motel, Sam too.

I looked at the clock Dean had given me the previous day. 1 am.

I had trouble sleeping last night too and I really hoped this wouldn't keep going.

I turned in my bed, and found my phone. I wouldn't call, because I didn't want to wake him.

But I would send him a text.

"_Hey, are you awake?"_ I wrote quickly, and then sent it to him. I didn't expect to get an answer, but I got one only minutes later. I was just about to reply to it when I felt a twisting feeling of sickness.

"Oh great," I had the time to mutter before I ran out of bed and into the bathroom where I stayed the rest of the night. I slept on the floor, and hang over the toilet when I was awake.

The nausea was finally starting to go over when the morning came, and I drank a glass of water and brushed my teeth before I dragged myself back to bed.

I checked my phone, and placed it on vibrate. It was impossible to fall asleep in the bright room, so I dragged the cover over my eyes and tried to relax. It took about twenty minutes, but eventually I did fall asleep.

I woke up a few hours later, and groaned because I was still tired. But I would probably not get any more sleep now. So I sat up and walked into the kitchen.

My stomach still felt a little strange, so I only drank a glass of water and then walked back into my bedroom. I took my pillow and cover, and dragged it to the sofa.

I was planning on having a full day infront of the TV, watching movies.

Then I walked back and took my phone, noticing I had a missed call.

Dean had called me about an hour earlier. I found a good movie, and then placed myself comfortable on the couch under the cover and took out my phone again. I dialed Dean's number, and didn't have to wait very long before he picked up.

"Hey," I said, and was surprised to hear my own voice. I hadn't expected to sound so... sick.

"You don't sound so good."

"I don't feel so good, and I've only slept for a few hours."

"How do you feel?" he wanted to know. I told him about the spinning in my head, and about my stomach. I also told him that I was planning on having a day infront of the TV and watch old movies.

Of course he wanted to know which ones. I told him I was planning on watching A walk to remember right now.

"Haven't you seen that movie like a million times already?"

"Yeah, but I still wants to see it," I argued, and then we both chuckled. When I had forced him to watch the movie a few years ago he had promised himself he would never see it again.

And yet he had seen it countless of times with me after that.

We talked for another hour, and then he had to go. He promised he would call later, and then we hung up. I played the movie and cried more than usually to it.

I always cried, since the story was so sad and beautiful, but I had never cried quite this much.

My sister had always thought that I cried in the wrong places in this movies.

She cried when Jamie died, and that's the only time. But I could cry to one single quote, or something Landon did for Jamie... But always the same amount of tears in the end.

Especially when Landon goes to her father, and he tells Landon that he was Jamie's miracle.

And then when Landon stands on the dock and says that their love is like the wind.

It get's me everytime.

---

I had just got off the phone with Dean. He was supposed to be back in a few days, but he would have to stay for another week because they had found a job they had to take.

He didn't want to, but it was important. And I understood him. This was what he did for a living, and even though it worried me sick, I understood that. And I would never tell him to stop doing it.

Because he was good at it, and he liked it. I could never tell someone to do something they didn't want to.

But could I really be away from him for another week? I already felt alone, and missed him like crazy.

I knew what I had to do, so I called my sister and brother and told them I was going out of town for a few days. Just so that they knew where I were. Then I took a quick shower and got dressed.

I packed a small bag with what was necessary, and then walked out of my apartment.

I locked the door, and then took my car to the cemetery.

I droved slowly, preparing myself. I hadn't been at mom's grave alone yet, but I had too sooner or later. So I would do it now.

I stayed at the graves for more than an hour, talking and crying.

I thanked dad for giving me the advice to tell Dean, and I also told them both that everything were going well between us. Dad had always known that Dean and Sam were hunters, and now I could tell mom too. It wasn't like she could tell anyone. It felt good to tell her, even if it was just her grave. I still felt like it was _her_ that I was talking to, just like I always felt like it was dad.

I told them both that I loved them and missed them, and then I left, wiping away my tears.

My car had always been expensive to drive longer distances with, so I thought about taking Rob's car. Just like Dean, Robert loved his car. I had always prefered the Imapala over Rob's 1969 Camero SS though...

I had always liked driving, and it had always helped me think. If I didn't have a kitchen, I took the car.

But it was too far to the roadhouse, and I didn't feel like driving where I didn't know how to find.

So I took my car to the airport, and jumped on the next flight.

Luckily Dean had told me where the roadhouse was, or else I wouldn't have found it without calling him. And I wanted to surprise him.

It took me about three hours to get to the right town, and there I took a cab when I found one.

It was getting dark outside, and just as I was about to call Dean, he called me.

"Hey," I answered as I had just given the cab driver the right information.

"Hey baby. What are you doing?" he asked, and I nearly told him. But just nearly.

"Nothing special. What about you?"

"We're on our way back to the roadhouse to get some sleep."

"Found anything yet?" I asked, wanting to know.

"Not much. All we know is that people have been dying a lot lately. Strange, freak accidents."

"You're safe, right?" I asked, worried about both him and Sam. Mostly about him.

"Don't worry. Why does it sound like you're in car?"

"I am. Can I talk to Sam for a second?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Eh, sure..." he said, and a few seconds later Sam was on the phone.

"Soph?"

"Hey, Sam. Don't react to this, okay?"

"Okay...?" he sounded confused. I was going to tell him I was coming over, just to make sure it was okay. I wasn't telling him it was tonight, though.

"Do you think it would be okay for me to come by the roadhouse in a few days?"

"Of course, why wouldn't it be?" he sounded happy.

"I don't know. Don't tell Dean, though. I want it to be a surprise."

"Sure thing."

"Good. So, I'll see you in a few days. Bye."

"Bye." With that I hung up the phone and noticed that we were there. Harvelle's Roadhouse.

It looked just like I thought it would, from what Dean had said.

I paid for the cab, and took my bag. The Impala weren't outside, but I could see a few other cars as I walked over the ground. I walked inside, and found it to be half crowded. It was... homey in a strange way. I could see a woman behind the bar, and guessed that it was Ellen. There was only another woman inside that I could see, and guessed that it was Jo. She was pretty in ways I wasn't fully comfortable with. I shook away my jealously and walked up to the bar where I took a seat.

"Want something?" Ellen asked, and I shook my head.

"No, actually I'm just waiting for someone," I answered kindly, and she turned around. But then she turned back and looked at me. Then she shoot a quick glance at the clock on my wrist.

"Are you waiting for Dean?" she asked, and surprised me.

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"I recognized your clock. Or should I say_ Dean's_ clock?"

"He gave it to me."

"Mmmh. So, how do you know him?" She scared me a little bit, but I answered her.

"He saved my life ten years ago, and I've known him ever since."

"How, if it's okay to ask?" It wasn't like anyone hadn't asked me that before.

"A car almost drove over me, but he pulled me out of the way." That was the short story, but I wasn't planning on telling her the long one.

"Where did you say you were from?" she asked suddenly.

"I didn't. Friday Harbor." She looked at me, and she narrowed her eyes.

"Jo!" she called, and the blond woman walked up to stand next to her. She was prettier up close...

"What?" she asked, and looked at her mother. But she didn't have time to answer, before the door opened and I heard familar voices.

"Dean, I'm telling you I don't know. The best would to just talk to Ash about it..."

"Well well, Dean and Sam," Ellen said and looked in the right direction. I didn't turn around, so I didn't see them. It was hard to believe how much I had missed Dean, and my heart skipped a beat just by knowing he was in the same room. The feeling of lonliness I had felt ever since he left was suddenly gone, and the feeling of being safe was back. Being loved. Just knowing he was in the same room made me feel that.

"What Ellen?" Dean asked, sounding a little annoyed. He hadn't when I talked to him, and I guessed it was because Sam didn't tell him what I had said. Or because of the subject they were talking about.

"Someone asked for you," Ellen said, looking at me who still hadn't turned around.

"Who?" he asked, and I heard how tired he was. I wondered how much he had slept...

"Why don't you look for yourself," she answered, and then I turned around.

"Hey, Dean," I said, and he seemed shocked to see me. I couldn't blame him. Sam too, looked more than shocked. But the expression on Dean's face disappeared quickly and was replaced by down right happiness. I couldn't help but smile as I saw the heartbreakingly beautiful smile on his face.

With three long strides he passed the distance between us, and his lips attacked mine.

I couldn't even describe the feeling of having his lips against mine again. It was just so... perfect.

It was like Dean and I were created to fit each other perfectly. We were tit for tat.

I locked my arms around his neck as his hand cupped my face, and kissed him back with everything I had in me. Dean didn't stop kissing until somone had cleared their throat several times. Not that I cared. I could have stayed in this moment forever.

"What are you doing here?" he said against my lips, and I smiled.

"Did you really expect me to be without you for another week?"

"I missed you, too," he answered, and placed a soft kiss against my lips. My skin were burning where his hand touched me.

"I thought you said you were coming by in a few days?" I heard Sam ask, and Dean shot a quick glance at him and then looked at me again. I looked at Sam as I answered him.

"I lied. I was actually outside when I told you that," I said, and Sam chuckled.

"How long are you staying?" Dean asked, and I looked at him instead.

"That depends on how long you want me."

"I'll always want you," he whispered and pressed his lips against mine again. It felt nice to have him this close again.

"Then I should have packed a bigger bag," I smiled, and Dean chuckled.

"Dean, behave yourself," I heard Ellen say, and Dean pressed his lips against my cheek before he looked at her and Jo.

"Ellen, Jo, this is Sophia."

"We figured that much," Jo said, and looked at me. She didn't seem happy to have me here. I couldn't blame her. I was the one who kept Dean and Sam away from the meeting they had.

"Sophia – the girl you've been talking about for a week?" Ellen asked, and Dean looked rather uncomfortable.

"You been talking about me?" I asked smiling, and Dean met my eyes for a short second.

"Sam and I need to talk to Ash, I'll be right back," he said, and the next second I watched him walk away. I laughed to myself. Dean had never really been comfortable with this kind of stuff.

"So, Dean and a girl... Nothing new." Jo looked at me, as if expecting me to go away any second if she just said the right thing. Like Dean would just throw me away.

"Jo," her mom warned her, but didn't say anything else.

"No, I know what you mean. I know Dean, I know how he's been."

"Don't you mean _is?"_ Jo asked, and Ellen shot another warning at her before she walked away to serve her customers.

Jo seemed very... irritated and not very happy about the fact that Dean and I were together.

"So, when did he reject you?" I asked, and her face fell.

"That's got nothing to do with it, and you're very direct."

"I'm known to be just that," I smiled at her. I had always said what was on my mind. Which caused people to either hate me or love me.

"With Dean being who he is, that doesn't make him the typical boyfriend your parents would choose for you, right?" she asked, being very rude. I fough the urge to hit her. She didn't know anything about me.

"Jo," I heard Sam say from behind. I wondered how long he had been standing there. It couldn't have been very long, but long enough for him to hear what we were talking about.

"Hi, Sam. We were just talking about Dean not really being boyfriend material."

"Yeah, I heard," Sam said flatly. He didn't like where this were going, or where it already was.

"So, you think Sophia's father likes having Dean as his daugther's boyfriend?"

"Jo, I can't tell you what her father thinks, because I haven't met him. But Soph and Dean are perfect for each other, and if you just got to know her, you would know that. And you of all people shouldn't ask that question."

"You known her for ten years, and still haven't met her father? Maybe your not the one with the big family secret," she said as if I weren't even there and Sam walked closer. He didn't have the chance to say something before I heard Dean's voice.

"What's going on?"

"We were just discussing whether or not you know your girl as well as you think. I mean, don't you think it's a little strange that you haven't met her father yet?" Jo smiled at Dean, and I fough the urge to slap her again. Hard. Dean was about to say something, but I stood up and looked at him.

"Dean, it's okay. I can handle this," I said quietly and then turned to stare at Jo. She stared back.

"You can believe what you want to believe, because I really don't care. You don't have to like me, and I don't have to like you. But there is one thing you should know before you speak any further. When I was three years old, my father died from a heart attack. And I really don't want you or any one else talking about him like that," I said, and before she had the chance to react to my words I walked out of the bar. I saw the Impala parked right outside, and walked up to it. I searched in my jacket and found the extra key Dean gave me several years ago. I locked the car from the inside, and turned on music. I refused to cry, I had already done that enough for today. And I was supposed to be happy right now – I was with Dean again. Even though I was alone in the car...

But I couldn't really think about that, as all I wanted to do was to hit something. Or someone.

I closed my eyes, and tried to relax and took deep breaths. I heard the door squeak, and then I heard it closing again. Dean's arms were around me, and pulled me close. I kicked off my shoes and pulled my legs up as I leaned into his side and laid one of my arms over his chest.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, and felt a tear leak over. I didn't bother to wipe it away.

"You have nothing to apologize for. But Jo does," he said, and then muttered to himself: "I knew there was a reason I didn't like her." I chuckled, and could almost feel Dean smiling.

"How was your day?" he asked, and I felt him placing a kiss on the top of my head.

"I went to see mom and dad. I told them I was coming here, and then I finally let mom in on the secret," I smiled, and Dean hugged me a little closer.

"She took it surprisingly well," I tried to chuckle, but it didn't really work. It sounded wrong.

"She would be chasing me with a baseball bat right now if she took it well," Dean said, and I smiled.

"No, she wouldn't. She always liked you, and she secretly planned our wedding," I laughed and Dean chuckled softly.

"Yeah? You never told me that."

"That was because I refused to believe it. I was seventeen, and it kinda freaked me out. I didn't even have those kinds of feelings for you, and yet she_ insisted_ on that we would be great together."

"I always told you your mom gave good advise," he said, and I smiled. I turned my head so that I could look at him, and found him looking down at me. We sat like that for several moments, just watching each other.

"I love you," I said then, and saw him smile softly.

"I love you too, and you can't believe how happy I am to see you again."


	7. Chapter 7

**Dean **

Just when I believed I would be going back to Sophia, I had to work.

This has to be the first time I _really _didn't want to.

It had been nice to have a break for awhile, but at the same time I had missed the exitement of the work. So at another time it would have been great to go back.

But not now, without seeing Sophia. I hated the way I had left her, barely a week after her mother's funeral. I felt like a big fat jerk for that.

But this job seemed like something we needed to do right now.

It had been strange accidents for a few months now, people dying in ways that's not even remotely close to natural.

And the tabloids keeps writing about them as if they were suicides. But to be honest... no one could kill themself like that.

Our best guess right now was a demon, or a really pissed off spirit. But a demon seemed to be what it was. And we knew how to handle a demon. The only problem was tracking it down...

That's what Sam and I were talking about when we walked into the roadhouse.

"Dean, I'm telling you I don't know. The best would to just talk to Ash about it..." Sam was saying, but Ellen interupped him. I was annoyed and tired. Annoyed because this wasn't where I wanted to be, and tired because I hadn't slept much last night.

"Well well, Dean and Sam." Ellen sounded cheery, annoying me more. It was just one of those days...

"What Ellen?" I asked, and shot a quick glance at her. She looked just as cheery as she sounded.

I stopped mid-stride as I talked, and waited for her to say something. I just wanted to get some sleep, and find this thing as fast as possible so that I could go back to Friday Harbor.

I was a little taken aback from Soph's sudden question to talk to Sam, and then the way she just hung up. And Sam seemed... happier. Strange day.

"Someone asked for you," Ellen said, and for a second it looked like she looked at the person infront of her. I didn't look, and suppressed a groan. She stopped me to tell me that? Why didn't she just talk to me in the morning? In couldn't be that important, because if it would, Ellen would have called.

"Who?" I asked, and started to walk again. I could feel Sam standing still where he was.

"Why don't you look for yourself," Ellen said, and that stopped me. The person was here? That shouldn't have surprised me as much as it did. I stopped, but I didn't look at Ellen.

"Hey Dean," I heard an all too familiar voice say, and my heart skipped a beat just hearing the voice.

It couldn't be? I just talked to her, and she was at home. Or in a car, or whatever.

She couldn't be here, at the roadhouse. I turned around to make sure, and saw my beautiful girl sitting at the bar. Her smile was breathtaking, and as soon as I remembered how to move I took three long strides until I was next to her. Without saying something, I pressed my lips against hers and basked in the feeling of having her close again. All of a sudden all the annoyance was gone, and I wasn't as tired anymore. I was just happy. More than that. I felt whole again.

I cupped her face in my hands just to feel her more, and her arms locked around my neck, pulling me closer. I didn't mind at all. I wanted her closer still.

Someone, probably Jo, cleared her throat more than a few times, but I didn't care. The only reason I let my lips leave hers was because I needed the air.

"What are you doing here?" I wanted to know, still not really believing that she was in my arms.

"Did you really expect me to be without you for another week?" she said, and I could feel myself smiling. She was thinking the same way I was...

"I missed you, too." I placed a soft kiss on her lips just because I was able to do so.

"I thought you said you were coming by in a few days?" I heard Sam ask, and I shot a quick glance at him, not wanting to leave her eyes for too long. So that's why she wanted to talk to Sam, and he had been all... yeah. I couldn't really be mad at him for not telling me, which I would have been if Sophia wasn't here. Everything just felt so much better with her by my side again.

"I lied. I was actually outside when I told you that," she smiled, and I nearly rolled my eyes.

"How long are you staying?" I asked, wanting to know. I didn't want to let go of her again.

"That depends on how long you want me." What a stupid question.

"I'll always want you," I whispered against her lips before I pressed another kiss on them.

"Then I should have packed a bigger bag," she said, smiling, and I looked at the bag on the floor.

It was big enough for the entire week, so I chuckled.

"Dean, behave yourself," I heard Ellen say, and I pressed another kiss on Sophia's lips before I turned to look at Ellen and Jo.

"Ellen, Jo, this is Sophia." I was about to say more when Jo interuppted me.

"We figured that much," Jo said, looking at my girl in a way I wasn't at all comfortable with. She didn't seem pleased by the fact that Sophia was here.

"Sophia – the girl you've been talking about for a week?" Ellen asked, and suddenly I felt very uncomfortable. I hadn't been talking about her_ that_ much, or had I?

"You been talking about me?" she asked me, and I only met her eyes for a second before I totally changed the subject.

"Sam and I need to talk to Ash, I'll be right back," I said and turned away. I saw Sam walking behind me.

"I'll find somewhere else to sleep tonight, because you two... I don't want to be near that," I heard Sam say, and I nearly turned around to shove him. Hard. Instead I ignored him, and knocked on Ash's door.

"Hey, Ash!" I said when he didn't open. Sam and I called a few more times, but when he didn't open we figured we could talk to him in the morning. Sam walked back before me as I ran off to the bathroom. I hurried as I was eager to be with Sophia, but I didn't like what I saw.

As soon as I saw her, I noticed that her shoulders were stiff. The way they sometimes were when she was upset about something. And the way Sam stood, staring at Jo...

What the hell did she do?

"What's going on?" I demanded, and Jo's eyes turned from Sam to me. She grinned.

"We were just discussing whether or not you know your girl as well as you think. I mean, don't you think it's a little strange that you haven't met her father yet?" I felt anger flood up inside me.

Jo said _what_ now? How the hell could she say something like that?

I was about to open my mouth to argue, when Sophia stood up and looked at me.

The way she looked – her eyes so determinated but yet on the verge of tears – made me feel horrible. Like somehow this was my fault.

"Dean, it's okay. I can handle this," she whispered, and I couldn't argue with her. She had always been good at taking care of herself. She gave me an assuring look, and then turned to look at Jo.

"You can believe what you want to believe, because I really don't care. You don't have to like me, and I don't have to like you. But there is one thing you should know before you speak any further. When I was three years old, my father died from a heart attack. And I really don't want you or any one else talking about him like that," she said, and it was obvious that she was fighting tears. I was probably the only one who noticed, though. She really didn't need this - not now, not ever.

She turned around without looking at anyone and stalked off and out of the bar.

"Was that really necesserry?" Sam asked before I could. He was calm, but I wouldn't have been. And right now I couldn't care less about Jo. My girl was out there somwhere, feeling awful, and I wanted to be there for her. I took her bag from the floor, and gave it to Sam.

"Sam, put this in our room," I said, and heard that my voice was strained. I shot a glare at Jo, who didn't look like she wanted to apologize anytime soon. Oh, she would, even if I had to make her do it. I walked outside, and tried to think of where she could be. I only had one guess, so I looked toward the car. As I thought I would, I could see her sitting in there.

So I walked up to it, and found the doors locked. Smart girl. But locked doors didn't really stop me.

I opened the door, and climbed inside. The second the door was closed again I had my arms around her and pulled her close to me. I saw her kicking off her shoes, and then she pulled her legs up as she leaned back into my side.

"I'm sorry," she whispered softly, and I almost argued with her. She had nothing to apologize for.

"You have nothing to apologize for. But Jo does," I murmured, and then added to myself: "I knew there was a reason I didn't like her." Soph chuckled, and I smiled hearing it.

"How was your day?" I wanted to know, and placed a kiss on her hair.

"I went to see mom and dad. I told them I was coming here, and then I finally let mom in on the secret," I could hear the smile in her voice, and I hugged her a little tighter.

"She took it surprisingly well," she tried to joke, and I smiled more.

"She would be chasing me with a baseball bat right now if she took it well," I said, knowing it was true. Deb had always wanted the best for her daughter, and a hunter wasn't the best.

"No, she wouldn't. She always liked you, and she secretly planned our wedding," she laughed, and I had to chuckle. She hadn't told me this before. So her mom had planned our wedding? Just as much a I knew she would chase me with a baseball bat right now if she was alive, I also knew that could be true.

"Yeah? You never told me that."

"That was because I refused to believe it. I was seventeen, and it kinda freaked me out. I didn't even have those kinds of feelings for you, and yet she insisted on that we would be great together."

"I always told you your mom gave good advise," I said, and I could sense her smile.

She turned her head so that she could meet my eyes, and I met them.

"I love you," She said after a few moments of silence, and I smiled at her.

"I love you too, and you can't believe how happy I am to see you again."

"So me coming here wasn't a bad idea?" she said, and I knew she thought about Jo. I ignored the feeling of wanting to hit something, and focused on my girl instead.

"It was one of the best idea you've ever had," I said, and placed a soft kiss on her lips. When they broke apart, she leaned her head against my shoulder and sighed.

We sat like that for a while, enjoying the feeling of being back with each other, saying nothing.

Then out of the blue, she spoke.

"We should get a song." I chuckled, not really knowing what her words came from. A _song?_

"A song?"

"Yeah, you know... Couples in movies always have songs, and it happens in real life, too. Mom and dad had _I'll be,_ you know that. And we should have a song, so we can have it on the wedding mom planned for us to have someday in the future," she joked, but I could hear the strained tone in her voice. It was hard for her to talk about her mom like this – it made her miss her even more.

So I would make it easy for her.

"Okay, so how do we decide which one?"

She was quiet for a few seconds, thinking about it.

"The next song to play on the radio – that will be ours."

"What if it's a really bad song then?" I asked, and she laughed.

"That doesn't matter. It will be ours."

"Okay then," I answered her, and changed the channel into something a little more promising. I found one that played all kinds of cheesy love songs, and then we were quiet again. Waiting for our song to play.

"_And now, I'll always be right there with Bryan Adams_," the voice on the radio said, and I nearly rolled my eyes. Bryan Adams. Of course it had to be him.

"The title is promising," Soph said and I smiled. She had always liked his voice.

But I had to agree with her – the title was promising. And the song was actually good.

The lyrics were... it sounded like _us_. Almost like it was fate that had chosed to play that song right then and there. If there is anything out there called fate, that was exactly what it was.

"So, we have ourself a song," I said as it was over, and I turned off the radio.

"And I have to say, it was good. I really liked it," she whispered, and she sounded happy.

"To be honest – so did I," I said, and pulled up her chin with one of my fingers so that I could kiss her. The kiss started gently as always, but it quickly grew and became deeper.

When my tongue slid over her bottom lip, and asked for permission, she parted her lips more and I darted my tongue out and into her mouth. I let out a quiet groan, feeling her like this again.

She seemed to agree, and moved so that she was straddling me, without breaking the kiss.

The kiss deepened more, and when she needed to breathe I continued kissing her on her jaw, her throath, collar bones... And then back to her lips.

A part of my brain told me where this was leading, and I had to stop it.

I had never before felt the urge to take it easy, but now I did. And I had been for our entire time together, even if that was just for about two weeks. It was so little time! It felt like we had been together for much longer... But I loved it. Every second of it. I loved how her face could lit up with something I could say, even if it was ridicilous and something she already knew. I loved how we know each other so well, and how the other one works. I even loved the parts where she some nights could wake up and cry, because something had reminded her of her mom. It was just the fact that I loved how I was able to be there for her, and I always wanted to be a part of her life.

And I wanted to take it easy, slow, with her. Because that would make everything better when we took the step.

I knew that if this would have been anyone else, I wouldn't have stopped her. But this was Sophia, and not anyone else. This was the woman I loved, and was planning on loving her my entire life.

So I pulled my lips away from her, but let them linger against each other.

"We shouldn't do this now," I murmured, and she placed a soft kiss on my lips before I felt her pulling away. I opened my eyes, and found her deep brown eyes penetrating mine.

"I know," she said, and I knew that she would have stopped us if I hadn't.

"But now I'm curious; why not?" she asked a second later and smiled. How could I resist that smile?

"First of all, we're in a car."

"I doubt that's ever stopped you before," she said, knowing me all too well. She smiled again, and I twisted my fingers with hers. It was just unbelievable that she could even love me, knowing how I could be._ Used_ to be. All of that was over now, and I would never go back to that part of myself.

But she was right, being in a car hadn't stopped me before. But it did now. She was worth so much better.

"I just don't think our first time should be in the backseat of the car," I murmured.

"Frontseat," she corrected me, and I rolled my eyes.

"What I'm saying is that it should be special. And you're better than a girl who would even agree to do it in a car. You deserves better," I said honestly, and she smiled softly at me.

"When did you become such a gentleman?" she asked, and laughed.

"A gentleman? Well, I don't know about that... But you see, ever since I fell in love with this beautiful girl I've wanted to take it slow, and not rush things."

"Thank you," she whispered seriously, and then smiled.

"And since you called me beautiful, I'll cook for you when we get back."

Oh, god, did she have to say that? Everytime she even mentioned cooking, I wanted to eat her food. Even though I wasn't hungry. But truth be told, I was a little hungry now.

And I_ really_ wanted to eat some of her food...

"You're always beautiful, and that's very kind of you. But you know, there _is_ a kitchen inside," I said, and Soph's face fell a little. She didn't want to cook in there, because of Jo. I felt like hitting something again.

"I'll just say it's me who's doing the cooking," I suggested, and the smile was back.

"They must know by now that you can't cook," she said, and I faked an hurt expression that made her smile when she saw it.

"You're wounding my ego," I said and she chuckled, but then she was serious again. I knew what she was thinking.

"I won't let her come near you," I promised her.

"Promise?"

"Promise. Now c'mon," I said, and she moved herself so that we both could climb out of the car.

As soon as the car was locked again, I took her hand in mine and we started to walk.

I had no idea of how long we had been in the car, but I was sure that it was more than an hour.

People were still hanging around in the bar and around the roadhouse, but I couldn't see Jo anywere. Good.

We found Sam sitting at the bar, and walked up to him.

"You were gone for a long time," he said smugly, and I had to say what was on my mind.

"Yeah, Sammy. Don't go near the backseat of the car, trust me," I leaned in and whispered, and just as I wanted, Sophia heard and she shoved me.

"Dean, you weren't supposed to say anything!" she said, and then laughed as I did.

"No seriously. We have a song now," I said, and Sam laughed hard. When he realized I was serious, he raised an eyebrow. He looked as if he was asking me if I was crazy or something.

I would have asked the same thing, if I didn't know why I had even agreed to it.

Truth be told, I even _liked_ having a song with Sophia. _That_ I wouldn't say though.

"Uh-huh, what song?" he asked, and looked at Soph, knowing she was the only one out of us who would answer him.

"Hi guys," Ellen said before Soph had the time to say something. Good, because he would be laughing more when he heard what song.

"Hello Ellen," Soph said kindly, and I smiled at her. She was always so kind, even to people who didn't deserve it.

"Sophia, Sam told me, and I'm so sorry about my daugher's behaviour," Ellen apologized, and for some reason I thought that was the closest to an apology we would come.

"It's okay, Ellen." No it wasn't. But now when Soph was in a good mood, I wasn't going to ruin it by arguing. No, I was doing the opposite.

"Ellen, mind if I use your kitchen?" I asked, and Ellen looked at me.

"I didn't know you could cook," she said, and I heard Sam trying to hide his laughing with coughing.

It didn't go very well.

"I'm a pro," I grinned, and Sam laughed/coughed more.

"You know where it is," Ellen said, smiled and walked away. I turned to look at Sam.

"Could you have been more discreet?" I asked, and he shrugged, fighting back another laughter.

"So, Dean, _where_ _is_ the kitchen?" Sam asked, and I looked around myself. I had no idea.

"Eh... It's here somewhere," I muttered, and Soph also laughed this time.

"That way," Sam said and pointed us in the right direction. If he lied, he was pretty much dead.

I squeezed Soph's hand tighter, and together we started to walk in the direction Sam had pointed out.

It was the right one, and thankfully the kitchen was empty. And huge. When I shot a glance at Sophia I noticed that she liked it. It looked like she and this kitchen would get along great.

"What do you want?" she turned around and asked me. That I had to think about. I loved everything she cooked, and I had no idea of what I wanted.

"Give me something new," I said, and she nodded and started to look around in the kitchen.

I took a seat at the table and watched her work.

Righ before she started, she pulled something from her wrist to pull her hair up with. When she was satisfied about the little bun on her head, she got to work.

It took about twenty minutes for the dish to be ready, and it seemed to involve pasta and some sort of sausage. The smell of garlic was all over the kitchen. This could only taste fantastic.

While she worked, and I enjoyed watching her smile when she added another ingrediense, we talked. About everything. About what we had missed in each others life.

I told her more about the thing we were hunting, and as always she seemed interested to hear more.

She was always like that. And her worry never overshadowed her enthusiasm. Well, almost never.

There had been times I had talked to her and told her about the work we were doing at the time, and she could be worried sick. Even though I didn't want her to worry, it was nice to have someone to worry about me. I knew it was selfish, but it was the truth. And I could worry right back for her if she was doing something I didn't like. That wasn't often though. She was always responsible, and always did the right thing.

She placed the food on one big plate, and took out a fork from somwhere, and then placed the food right in front of me. While she did so, she talked.

"This isn't a finished recipe yet, so you're going to have to tell me what you think about it." Dont I always do that? She continued talking. "I changed it a little from the last time I did it, because mom thought it was too little garlic. And now I added much more, because I know you like it," she smiled at me and reached the fork out for me to take. I hestiated. Her mom was the only one who had eaten this before, and now she wanted me to do it? It was always her mom she had went to to get advice about food, because she too was a chef. She was the one to teach Soph about almost everything she knows about food, and how to cook it. For a second I wondered when her mom had tasted it, but I wasn't going to ask and upset her. Besides, I had a pretty good guess...

I took the fork out of her hand, and she took the seat opposite to me.

I looked into her eyes for a few seconds, and saw that she really wanted me to do this.

So I placed food on the fork, and shoved it into my mouth. And I nearly died. Oh, god, it had been so long ago I had tasted so good food. Not more than a week, but it felt like longer.

I mean, it wasn't one of her best recipies, but wow. It was more than fantastic.

Oh, and the garlic. This tasted so fucking good.

"This is so fucking good," I told her and took another bite. I could see her smile, and reached the fork to her. She was the chef, and should taste her own work. She took the fork while I chewed, and placed it in her mouth to taste it. It was hard to know if she liked it. She always had a poker face on while tasting her own food.

"This isn't fucking good," she said, and gave me the fork back. "It's too much garlic, and the pasta should be more al dente," she babbled on.

"Shut up, it's perfect," I interuppted her before I ate more, and she laughed.

"You know, for loving food as much as you do, you should know more about it," she said, and I glared at her.

"I know enough to know that this tastes fantastic," I said, and heard the door open up to the kitchen.

I turned around and saw Sam walk in.

"Sorry, I just need something to eat," he said, and Soph called him over.

"Here, taste this," she said, and took the fork out of my hand right before I was about to place it in my mouth. She gave it to Sammy, who smelled it before he put it in his mouth. He had always been careful about food. Stupid. While he chewed, he gave the fork back to me.

"It's a little too much garlic. But other than that, it tastes great," he said, and Soph smiled smugly.

"That's exacly what I told your brother, but he won't listen to me," she said, and looked at me.

"Hey, who are you listening too? Your boyfriend, or his geeky little brother who knows nothing about food?" I asked, and heard the door open again. This time I ignored it, and ate the last food on the plate, and then glared at it slightly when I noticed everything was eaten.

Soph laughed as she saw it, and I looked up at her.

"Well, since you are my boyfriend, I have to listen to you. But, your geeky little brother is right," she said, and Sammy chuckled, heading for the fridge.

"Oh, hey Ash," I heard him say, and guessed that Ash was the one who had walked inside.

"Let's say he is, and you're going to serve this recipe, you can take some of the garlic away. But you have to promise me something," I said, half serious, half joking. She choose to take it serious.

"That's very kind of you. And what is this promise I have to make?"

"Next time you make this for me, add more garlic."

"And what makes you think there will be a next time?" she asked, and leaned over the table. I leaned against her, and talked more quiet.

"Because you love me?" I made it sound like a question, and she smiled softly. As I talked I leaned in more, and just as I was about to press my lips against hers, we got interuppted.

"And who is this hottie?" I heard Ash ask Sam, louder than necessary. He was talking as if we couldn't even hear him, or was in the room. I leaned out, and turned my head to look at him. Before Sam had the chance to talk, I did.

"Ash, this 'hottie' is my girlfriend, Sophia," I said, and watched Ash disappointed look. I nearly snorted. Yeah, he didn't even have a chance with Soph. Not even if we weren't together. Ash just wasn't her type of guy. Not that I thought I was, and is still not one hundred percent sure I am.

"I'll be damned," he muttered. "Well, when did you two meet?" he asked then.

"Let's just say that it was a really long time ago," Soph smiled, and then looked at me.

I saw what she had in mind, and noticed that she was tired. It must have been a long day for her.

"Sammy, mind putting this in the dishwasher?" I said, pointed at the plate and the fork, and then hopped off the chair at the same time Sophia did. I took her hand, and before Sam could answer me, we walked out of the kitchen. I gave her a quick tour, and then showed her where we slept.

There had only been one room avalible when we showed up here, and it wasn't really the best room to be sleeping three people in. Or even two. But we hadn't changed into something bigger.

Soph ogled the bunk bed sceptical, and I was glad I had the lower bed. It was a little wider, but I still promised myself we would change into something bigger in the morning.

"Yeah, we'll just change room in the morning," I said, and Sophia smiled surprisingly.

"Good, but I haven't been sleeping in one of these since I was thirteen. It will be fun," she said, and let go of my hand to walk up to her bag that Sam had placed on the bed.

I chuckled, and shook my head. Soph could always find something positive in everything.

One of the many reasons why I loved her.

"Got something to sleep in?" I asked, as I closed the door behind us. I didn't lock it, knowing Sam would be coming in here sooner or later.

"Of course I do," she smiled and pulled out her toothbrush and some toothpaste. One of the bad parts about this room was that it didn't have a bathroom, so we had to use the one down the corridor.

Seriously, what had we been doing in here for almost a week?

After she had taken those out, she strided out of the room, leaving me alone. I hurried to take my toothbrush, and then followed her. Luckily, she hadn't locked the door so I just walked inside.

There she was, already brusing her teeth. I mean, seriously, she was even beautiful doing that.

Who is beautiful brusing their teeth? I can only mention one.

When she placed her stuff in the bag again, and was ready to pull out something to sleep in, I was fast to take the bag away. No way I was letting her sleep in her things.

I wanted to see her in my clothes, something I hadn't seen in years.

"Dean..." she started, and looked up at me.

"No way I'm letting you sleep in that," I said, and she looked at me, narrowing her eyes.

"If you're not, then take your shirt of mister," she said, and I did as she told me to. She took it from my hands, and told me to guard the door. When the door was secured, she took off her long sleeved shirt and pulled on my grey t-shirt. She searched her bag for a second, and then replaced her jeans shorts with a pair of black pyjama shorts. And oh my, she was sexy as hell.

I mean, she had always been beautiful, and sort of sexy. But since I realized I had feelings for her, the smallest things could just change everything.

Like this. Yes, I had always enjoyed seeing her in my clothes. And I had seen her like this a dozen of times. But not once had I found her sexy like this. Until now.

I don't know if it was the way she wore the shirt, or not seeing her in a week, or her legs...

No, I had seen those fifteen minutes ago...

I had no idea of why I found her so sexy now, but I sure as hell liked it.

"You're staring," I heard her say, and the words pulled me back to reality.

"Oh, eh, yeah, right. Sorry, it's just... You look..." I trailed off, not knowing what to say.

She smiled, and then got down under the covers. I turned around, turned off the lights, and then took off my jeans and laid down next to her, pulling her close.

Both of us was asleep in just seconds.


	8. Chapter 8

**Sophia **

When I woke up, I felt rested. Like I had been sleeping for a whole night.

Which I had. Dean and I had to have fallen asleep around ten last night.

I didn't know how much the time was now, but it was late enough. I could feel that the bed was empty beside me, so Dean and Sam had already left.

Dean told me yesterday that they would leave early, so that they could come back eariler.

Not that they had regular hours at this job, but they would try.

And he told me to make myself at home. I had no idea if I would be able to do that.

Yes, I had a feeling I would like Ellen, even though she scared me a little bit.

And Ash, even though I had only met him for about two seconds, seemed like a nice guy.

But then there was Jo... Just thinking about her made me want to stay in bed all day.

But I knew I couldn't do that, so I opened my eyes and found the room bright from the sun.

I forced myself to sit up, and then climbed out of the bed. I changed my shorts into a pair of jeans, but kept the shirt on. It smelled like Dean.

The only reason I asked him for the shirt he was wearing yesterday. I could have just taken a clean one, but that one wouldn't smell like him. And I liked smelling Dean on me...

I sneaked down the corridor and into the bathroom, afraid to see Jo.

I looked myself in the mirror, and knew that I had to take a shower later.

I quickly made a french braid on myself, and then stepped out of the bathroom.

I walked out into the bar, and found Ellen there. Thankfully she was alone.

"Sleep well?" she asked, and I told her I had. Even though the beds weren't the best.

"I'm guessing Dean is coming by later to ask for another room, so why don't I show you one now?" she said, and I smiled.

"Yeah, thank you," I said, and followed her back. A few doors away from our old room was a bigger room. I could see a queen sized bed, and there was a door into a connected bathroom. There was another door in the room, that lead to another room with one king sized bed.

"Here you go. This is the only one avalible right now," she said and smiled at me, apologizing for the fact that she couldn't offer me a better room.

"Thank you. And its nice in here." And it was. It was cosy...

"Thank you, Sophia. You know where the kitchen is?" she asked, and I nodded.

"Just take what you want for breakfast," she said then, and I looked at her. Anything I wanted? I had seen an intresting group of ingredienses yesterday, and I doubted she would let me take it.

"Anything?" I asked, just to make sure.

"Yes."

"At least let me pay for what I take," I said, wanting to do so. Or else I would feel like I was taking advantage. It was always different in my kitchen, because then I did pay for it. But always when I cooked some other place, I felt like I should pay for what I took.

"Oh, no, I don't want you to do that. You're a guest here," she said, and started to walk out of the room. I nodded, and promised myself I would cook tonight if she let me. If I couldn't pay her with money, there was always different ways.

I walked back into the room where we had slept, and moved my bag into the new room.

Dean and Sam's stuff was all over the place in the old room, so I would let them take care of that themselves.

So I found myself back into the kitchen, and searched it through. I didn't really know what I wanted to make, and I wasn't that hungry. Not yet anyway. So I decided to maybe make something new.

I found some fruit I could use, and then sliced it into pieces and placed it on a plate.

I found some other ingridients that would work well with the fruit and started to work. It didn't take me very long, and when I was done I placed it on the plate and poured some juice into a glass.

I felt like having coffee, but I've never thought coffee worked well with fruit.

I just sat and stared at the plate for a long time, without touching it.

I shouldn't have made something new. Because everytime I had made something new, I had always discussed it with mom. And she wasn't here to help me. I knew this time would be the hardest time, and next time I wouldn't miss her as much. But I didn't care about that. I missed her like crazy right now, and I wasn't going to eat this. I knew that I couldn't.

Just as I was about to throw it away, my phone rang. I looked at it and saw that it was Dean.

"Hi, what are you doing?" I answered, and it took a second for him too answer me. He ignored my question, hearing that I was one the edge if tears.

"What's wrong?" he asked, sounding worried. This was just stupid.

"Nothing, and it's my fault."

"What is?"

"It's stupid, okay? And it's nothing..."

"Soph, tell me, please?" he pleaded, and I couldn't ignore him then. He knew that.

"I... I made a new recipe, but I'm throwing it away. It looks really good, and I want to taste it, but I cant. It's just... mom's not here to discuss it with me."

"I am, if you want me to be," he said softly, and I smiled hearing it. It had always been mom or Dean that I talked to about this. But Dean wasn't here either, he was out hunting.

"It's going to get old by the time you get here," I said, and wiped away one of my tears that had now fallen over.

"Don't sound so convinced," he said, and I heard someone open the door into the kitchen. I looked up from the plate and saw Dean standing in the door, smiling sadly at me.

What was he doing here? Wasn't he hunting?

I saw him hang up the phone, so I did the same, and the next second he was standing next to me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as he took the seat next to me, and then pulled me into his lap.

He wrapped his arms around me, and immidiatly I felt a little better.

"Ash called and told us he found something, and he wanted Sam to take a look at it," Dean said, and I leaned closer into his embrace.

I was glad that he was here right now, even if it wasn't for a long time.

Even if it was for a few minutes, he _was _here. With me.

"Is it going to be like this everytime I do something I haven't since... mom died?" I asked. It was hard to say it, even to Dean. I had accepted that she was gone, but I still didn't want her to be.

He raised one of his hands to my face, and made sure he held my eyes before he spoke.

"I wish I could tell you it's not, but..." he trailed off, and I knew what he was saying. He was saying it would probably be like this. And I hated it. I would hate every second I felt like this...

"I hate feeling like this, you know? It feels like I can't do anything without feeling like crap..."

"I know, but you need to believe that it's going to pass. You will always miss her, but it _will_ get easier."

"I know it will. But when?" I sighed, and I could see the answer in his eyes. He didn't know, even if he wanted too. So did I.

I wanted to stop thinking about this, so I made a move to stand up, but Dean held me tight.

"You're not throwing that away," he demanded, and I saw him ogling the plate.

"You want it?" I asked.

"No, it looks too healthy with all the fruit," he answered, and I smiled.

"The fruit isn't a part of the recipe," I remarked, and he looked at me.

"If it isn't, then eat," he said, and gave me a piece of the apple I had sliced.

I looked at the apple in his hand, and then took it from him, and ate it. I was hungry, and like I had said, the fruit was only there to be on the side.

While I took another piece of the apple, Dean took the now cold toast and took a bite of it.

It felt good that Dean ate it, since I knew I wouldn't. Then at least I didn't make it for nothing.

"It's not one of your best, but it's good," he said serioulsy, taking the job seriously. I smiled, looking at him. The man that held me in his arms really had everything I wanted. He could be serious in times like this, and comfort me when I needed it. He could be mature, and at the same time very childish. Especially with Sam. And he always took out the side I most needed and wanted.

Dean has so many sides, all of them wonderful, and that's one of the many reasons I love him.

"It took me ten minutes to make that, and I didn't want to take just anything out of the kitchen," I explained. I hadn't really put down a lot of work. If I would have made a _real_ new recipe, it would have taken me hours to do even this simple toast.

"I bet Ellen told you to take what you wanted," he said, and I chuckled.

"Maybe," I answered, and Dean smiled at me.

---

I left Dean's lap and took the plate when we were finished eating, and placed it on the bench.

Right then Sam popped his head into the kitchen, and said hello.

"Dean, we gotta go," he said, and then disappeared just as fast as he had come.

Dean got up from the chair and walked up to me.

"We'll be back later," he said, and met my eyes. I could see that he wasn't really comfortable leaving me when I felt like this, but I would be fine. And he needed to go.

"I'll see you later," I said and gave him a smile that he returned.

"Love you."

"Love you," I answered and met his lips as they came down on mine for a few short seconds.

I watched him as he left and then started to dish the things we had used.

It didn't take me long, and then I thought I could go take a shower so I walked back to our room.

But almost as soon as I had left the kitchen, I heard Jo's voice.

"Sophia, can I talk to you?" she asked, and I suppressed a groan. I was going to ignore her, but I didn't have it in me to do so. I didn't feel like talking to her, but I could at least listen to what she had to say. So I turned around and saw her behind the bar. I walked up there, and seated myself on one of the stools.

"Look… I'm sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have said that. I was wrong to do so, and especially since I know why Dean and Sam didn't come to the meeting… It's just that they are friends, and I want what's best for them."

"And the best for Dean is you?" I asked. I was thankful for the fact that she was saying sorry, but that didn't change the fact that she did it in the first place.

"I thought so before. I can admit it that when I first met him, I had a crush on him. But that went away, especially since it was clear that Dean didn't feel the same. And now here you are, some new girl that he's fallen for. I was jealous, and I guess I just looked for something that was wrong with you. I didn't think, and said the first thing that came into mind. I didn't even consider there might be a reason they hadn't meet your father after a friendship of ten years, and I know how it feels like to loose a parent. And you lost two. I'm sorry about that…" she trailed off and looked at me apologetically. I didn't really know what to say.

"Thank you for… that," I mumbled. It was quiet for a few moments before she spoke.

"If it's okay to ask… How old was your dad when he died?" she said carefully.

"He was 27," I answered. I had gotten the question more times than I could count, and I knew what she would ask next. It was always the same question.

"Wow, that's… You said he died from a heart attack?"

"Yeah. He had a heart condition that he didn't know about, and then one day he was just gone."

"That's horrible. It must have been rough for your mom to raise you."

"It was. Like I said, I was three. My brother was one, and my sister was four," I answered her.

We talked more after that. About our lives, about her dead father, about almost everything.

And it turned out Jo was actually nice to talk to. She wasn't the bitch I took her for yesterday.

Sometimes the first impression really isn't everything.

Later I cooked dinner for us all, and they all said it was delicious. We didn't eat at the same time though. There wasn't time for that. Ellen and Jo took care of the bar, and Ash was working on something. So there just wasn't time to sit down at the same time.

But I made sure there would be food left for Dean and Sam when they would come back.

I helped out in the bar a little bit, and did what I could. I felt stupid just standing there and doing nothing. But as the clock ticked, I really felt like I needed to take that shower.

So I excused myself, and walked back into our room. The time was maybe eight when I stepped under the hot water, and relaxed.

Today had been eventful, and I guessed tomorrow would be so as well.

When I stood there, relaxed under the hot water, I felt a little tired. But not so much that I felt like I would be sleeping early tonight. I just felt… weary and I knew I would be rested as soon as I got something to do again.

I turned off the water, and heard voices from the other side of the door. They were back, but they weren't alone.

I listened closely, and realized I hadn't heard the third voice before. It seemed like they were discussing their hunt…?

I wrapped a towel around myself, and then remembered all my clothes were in the other room.

"Dean?" I called out, and heard the voices silence.

"Soph?" I heard him ask, and I nearly rolled my eyes.

"Can you give me my bag?" I asked, and he answered me a few seconds later.

"The one next to the bed?"

"Yeah, that one," I said, and heard him walking toward the door. There was a soft knock, and I told him it was open. The door opened, and Dean walked inside. When he saw me I noticed that his eyes widened for a short second, but then he composed himself. He closed the door behind him, and reached the bag out for me to take. I took it with my left hand, still holding the towel with my right.

I dropped it on the floor, and then looked at Dean again, who was still looking at me.

"You're beautiful, you know that right?" he uttered, and I smiled. Even if he had told me that dozens of times, it was still nice hearing.

"Thank you, now off you go," I said, and he narrowed his eyes.

"And mean," he added, and then left the room. I chuckled low to myself, and searched through my bag. I found a pair of grey sweatpants, and a black tank top that I pulled on.

I didn't feel like dressing up, and if we were to leave the room I could just change the sweatpants into a pair of jeans.

I let my wet hair be, and ran my fingers through it before I opened the door and walked outside. I left the bag in the bathroom, figuring I could bring it out later.

I saw Dean and Sam sitting on the bed, and then I saw the third figure sitting on a chair opposite to them. I could only see his back, but he seemed to be a little older. With the way he dressed, he seemed to be a hunter. Not like all the hunters dressed the same way, but those who knows hunters exist can easily notice one if they're looking closely.

I hadn't met many hunters - only Dean, Sam and John to be precise - before I came here.

But here at the roadhouse all the hunters that stopped by looked like _hunters._

Sam was first to notice me stepping out of the bathroom.

"Soph, this is Bobby – Bobby, this is Sophia," he said, and gestured his hand toward us.

Bobby… Dean had told me about him, so I knew who he was. It was nice to meet him.

But Dean hadn't told me he would help them…

Bobby got up from the chair and shook my hand and said hello, before he sat down again and I took a seat behind Dean and Sam on the bed. I folded my legs, with one pointing to the side and one straight up. I rested my arms on the knee of that leg.

I listened as they talked, still about their hunt.

It didn't seem like they were coming any closer to the thing. And they still wasn't sure if it was a demon or a pissed off spirit. But they were betting their money on a demon.

It also seemed like they would stay here tomorrow, to do some research on the computer and get some more help from Ash.

I couldn't help it, but it was interesting listening to them talking about them. I had never loved the fact that Dean and Sam was hunters, but I had never protested against it. I knew they were good at it, and I knew they could take care of themselves. And the world felt slightly safer with them out there. That never stopped the worry though.

But I still found it interesting every time Dean or Sam talked about it, and I always listened to learn more about it. It was probably strange, but that was the case.

Hunting was something I would never even consider trying myself, but I could consider living the life as a hunters girlfriend. And I was.

I had always liked Friday Harbor, but the only reason I had stayed there was because of mom. And she wasn't there anymore. Yes, I had my sister and brother there, and the restaurant, but I just didn't feel the same pull to stay there anymore.

I had always wanted to see the world, and I could easily picture myself sitting in the Impala, cruising around on the roads.

I knew the life wasn't normal, or even sane, but I would do it. Staying close to Dean would make me happy, and that's what I wanted to do. It was better to worry up close than to worry from my apartment in Friday Harbor.

Bobby left our room about an hour later, and Sam was about to go into the kitchen to get something to eat.

"There are some leftovers from dinner that you can take," I said, and Sam smiled.

"Bring some back here," Dean demanded before Sam was gone, and I chuckled.

Dean took my hand and led me to our bed instead, and laid us down there. Dean was on his back, and I lay on my side with my head against his chest.

"How was your day?" he asked, and I snuggled a little closer into his embrace.

"Eventful. As you can see, I fixed us a new room. And then I helped out in the bar, and Ash tried to make a move on me. He's real cute," I tried to stay serious, but it was hard and I laughed. Ash seemed like a nice guy, but he really wasn't my type. Not that Dean would have been my first choice, but you can't help who you fall in love with, right?

I heard him chuckling low, and I smiled.

"And I talked to Jo," I said, more serious, and felt Dean become rigid under me.

"She's not the bitch I thought she would be, and she's actually_ nice_."

"What she said…" Dean started, but I cut him off.

"She explained everything, and I can see her point. I wouldn't do something like that, but she's not me. We are two different people, and today she showed me a good side of herself."

Dean didn't say anything for almost a minute, and neither did I.

"That's probably one of the reasons I fell in love with you. You can always look at something negative and see something positive. Like this thing with Jo, and that jerk that cheated on you…"

"I knew that things would have never worked out with Eric, even if he didn't do what he did. I thought I loved him, but it was so easy to let go of him. _Too _easy. That's when I realized I didn't love him. And now, with you, I realize that even more. It's insane. We've been together for what, a couple of weeks? And it feels like I've loved you my whole life. It's insane that we haven't been together since the second we met. And I feel like life wouldn't have a meaning without you. I've never felt like this before, and I never want to loose it." My words were true. I thought I had been in love before, but now when I was with Dean I knew that wasn't the case. I had never felt like this before, and I never wanted to not feel like this again.

As I talked I had gotten up on my elbow so that I could look at him.

I could see so much love in his eyes that I knew he felt the same way, and my heart melted and then grew bigger with my love for him. It really was insane. From the moment I realized I loved Dean, my love for him had only gotten stronger and bigger for every day. And I knew my love for him would continue growing, and it would never alter.

"I couldn't have said it better myself," he murmured and then got up so that he could place a kiss on my lips. The kiss wasn't rough, or even deep, but he managed to fill it with such emotions. I could really feel that he loved me, just like I do every time he kisses me.

"You wanna know why I fell in love with you?" I asked when our lips broke apart, but I didn't let him answer me before I talked again. I lay down again, and rested my head against his chest.

"Since the day we met, you've always been there for me. Always. Whether I asked for it or not. You always knows what I want, and not. And you always take out the side that I need for the moment. You always had the gift to make me laugh, and with one word you can make me feel better. Like today, as soon as I heard your voice I felt so much better. And I always feels safe when you're around," I whispered, and knew that wasn't everything. That wasn't the whole list, but there were things I just couldn't put my finger on. I knew there were more reasons, but I didn't know every one of them. Not yet.

Dean wrapped his arms around me a little closer, and I heard him sigh softly.

"You know, if I were to say every reason why I love you, that would make hell of a list," he murmured, and I smiled.

I turned my head so that I could look at him, and kissed him back when his lips came down on mine again. This time the kiss was deeper and rougher, and it lasted longer than the last one.

But it didn't last long enough. We had to break it when Sam came back into the room.

None of us noticed him at first, but when he cleared his throat he forced our attention from one another to him. Dean sucked on my bottom lip for another second before he broke the kiss, and then sighed.

I knew the kiss would have lasted for longer if Sam wouldn't have interrupted us, but not very long.

It was sort of a silent agreement between us to not take it any further just yet.

We both wanted to take it slow, which was a first for Dean. But with everything that had happened lately, I just didn't feel ready to take that step. Not even with Dean, the one person I trusted with my life. And I loved him more for respecting that, and even feeling the same way.

I had felt it in his kisses, and his touches, but he hadn't said it before yesterday.

I knew that in some ways, this must be scary for him. Since we know each other so well, I knew that I was the first person he had ever fallen in love with. He had never even gotten remotely close to it before. He had never put his heart out there, but clearly not even that helps sometimes.

I knew why he had never put it out there; even though that was something he had never told me. But since I knew him so well, I could guess the answer.

It was because his work was dangerous, and he saw what it did to people. He was scared that it could hurt his loved ones. And he had seen what it had done to Jessica, and his mom. And now his dad as well. He didn't want to loose love, so he made himself not feel it.

But I could see it, he was glad he felt the love now. But I could also see the fear - the fear of loosing me. But he never would. I would stay with him forever, if he just let me.

His work wasn't going to come between us, I wouldn't let it. And I could take care of myself.

Dean and I sat up at the same time, and looked at Sam. Who looked kind of… what did he look like?

"Where's my food?" Dean asked, and Sam sighed.

"We don't have time for food, Dean. Ash found something. We know who it is," Sam said seriously, and Dean rose from the bed and walked up to his brother.

"_Who?"_ he asked, and I looked at them both.

"It's Meg."


	9. Chapter 9

**This is one of the last chapters I have done, so it's going to take a while before I update again.  
In the middle of next week maybe. **

**Thanks to my reviewers (: **

**Dean**

"That son of a bitch!" I uttered as soon as Sam had said it. Couldn't it have been someone else than that bitch?

"We don't know where she is, but it's her. Ash didn't recognize the signs, but I did when he showed them to me. And we should have figured it out Dean!"

Hell yeah we should have! God, why didn't we see this? If we just would have even considered her, even for a second, we would have known it was her. Everything was just so fucking obvious.

"Yeah, we should. Everything is her, it's obvious. But how the hell did she come back from hell?"

"Who knows…? But now we know its Meg, and we met her before. We've _stopped _her before. Ash is following the signs, and should know in a few hours where she's heading. But we're not going today."

"Why the hell not?" I asked, wanting to get rid off the bitch right now.

"By the time Ash knows where she is… it's too late to do anything today. We should just go first thing tomorrow, and since Bobby's here, he should come."

God, did he have to be right? But he was. Our minds would be clearer tomorrow, and at least we would know where to find her by then. And yes, Bobby should come. We had no idea of what Meg was planning, and it was better to be three than two.

"Who's Meg?" I heard Soph asked, and turned my head in her direction.

I had completely forgotten that she was here. How the hell could I do that?

She looked even more fragile sitting there on the bed, and I felt terrible. Even though I wanted her here, she shouldn't be here. This was Meg! If Soph got hurt because of this…

"Meg is Sam's old grumpy girlfriend," I said to think of something else. I couldn't even consider Sophia being hurt. Because of me…

"What Dean is saying is that Meg is a demon we exorcised a few months back," Sam explained, and glared at me.

"That's not what I'm saying," I corrected him, and sat down next to my girl. I needed to feel her next to me.

"Dean…"

"C'mon, you totally had a little crush on her before we figured out what she was."

"No…" he said, and I raised my eyebrow. "Maybe," he added then, and I laughed. He totally had a crush on her back then.

"That doesn't matter. We both hate her, and she definitely hates you," Sam told me as he sat down at the table.

"Which leads us to this: Everything that's been happening, everything she's done… She's leading us to her. But why?" I asked him, and thought about the answer myself. Since this was Meg, we knew that it was us that she wanted. She hated us more than we hates her.

"She's pissed. But is this even that big of a surprise?"

"Not really," I answered him. We had expected her to come back one day. We just didn't think that day would be today. "So, how are we doing this?"

Sam and I discussed how to handle this the best way, and we figured we would just do as always.

First we would figure out where the hell she is, and then we would put her under a devil's trap and send her right back to hell.

As we talked, I could both see and feel Soph's tensed body next to me. She wasn't comfortable with this, and I could understand her. This wasn't really a usual conversation.

I took her hand and squeezed it tightly, and felt her relax next to me almost the same second.

"We should go talk to Bobby," Sam said, and I agreed. And I wanted to go through some things with Ash. But I didn't want to leave Soph's side at the same time.

I told her to come with us, and she seemed just as reluctant to leave my side as I was to leaving hers.

"I'll be out in a second," she said, and squeezed my hand a little tighter before she dropped it and Sam and I left the room.

"Oh great," I muttered as I noticed that the bar was almost full. I just wanted some peace and quiet right now.

"Well, you boys look like you need a beer," Ellen said as she saw us and gave us one each before we had the time to say something. Ellen was good to have from time to time.

"Have you seen Bobby?" Sammy asked, and Ellen told him he was in his room.

"I'll be right back," Sam told me and was gone. I took a gulp from the bottle, and Ellen watched me.

"What's on your mind?" she asked. What's not on it? The bitch named Meg. Sophia. That I was scared. I sure as hell wasn't scared of Meg. No, I was scared to loose Soph.

I never allowed myself to feel love, because I knew what my work can do to the people I love.

But my heart hadn't listened to me, and I had fallen for Soph. One of the people I really needed in my life, even before I realized I loved her. Before, I needed her in my life as my best friend. But now, I needed her in my life for other reasons than that.

I just couldn't let her get hurt because of my job. I just couldn't. I _wouldn't._

"The son of a bitch named Meg," I answered, and took another gulp from the beer.

"She's the demon you're hunting?"

"Yep." Ellen muttered something I didn't hear, and then left.

Where the hell were Sam with Bobby? And where were my girl?

I felt someone touch my shoulder, and turned my head in the direction. I barely noticed the blonde woman standing there, only an inch from me. She actually made me a little uncomfortable with her closeness. No, I didn't notice her. All I saw was the dark haired beauty walking in my direction.

I never let my eyes leave her, and totally ignored the blonde standing next to me, trying to make a conversation.

My girl had changed her clothes into a pair of jeans, and a long sleeved black, tight fitting shirt. She had brushed her hair, but had let it hang over her shoulders. She smiled when she saw me looking at her, and I reached my hand out for her to take. However, the blonde next to me thought I reached it out for her and was about to take it. I shook her off with a glare, and I almost laughed at her disappointed expression.

My girl took my hand when she was close enough to reach it, and took the stool next to mine.

"Who was that?" she asked me softly.

"No idea, but she was annoying," I answered and saw her smile. "Why did you change?"

"I couldn't go out like that," she said, and I snorted.

"You could be wearing a potato sack and still be the most beautiful girl in the world," I said truthfully. I didn't find anything in the other women anymore, not since I fell in love with Soph. No, now they were just plain annoying, and I always shoved them away with a glare.

"Liar," Soph remarked, and I was about to argue when Sammy came back.

"Talked to Bobby, and we're leaving early tomorrow," he said, and I felt myself nod.

"Now when that's discussed, please let me eat," I said, and heard both Soph and Sammy laugh.

I hadn't eaten since Soph's breakfast, and hopefully she had been doing the cooking.

Both of them followed me into the kitchen, where we found Ash eating. Shouldn't he be working? And that food looked like something he wouldn't be able to make...

"Ash, shouldn't you be working?" I heard Sam ask.

"And please don't tell me that's my food," I added. Ash looked up from his plate, an apologetic smile on his face. That wasn't going to work. He ate my food!?

"Oh, come on!" I said, and Soph dropped my hand and walked to the fridge.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I hid some food, if this were to happen," she laughed, and took a box out of the fridge.

"But it's only enough for one," she added and pursed her lips. She was adorable when she looked like that.

"Sammy knows how to cook, so give it to me," I said, and Sam shoved me. I would do anything for that meal. It looked so freaking delicious.

Soph smiled and placed the food on a plate, and then put it in the microwave to heat up.

I walked up to her, and wrapped my arms around her waist. She leaned her back against me, and relaxed as I placed a kiss on her jaw.

"You're too good for me," I whispered in her ear, and saw her smile.

The microwave beeped to let us know that the food was done, and Soph snaked out of my embrace to take it out. When I saw what food it was, I looked at Soph.

"You didn't," I breathed, and she smiled that breathtakingly beautiful smile at me.

"I did," she said, and gave me the plate. It was chicken alfredo. And not just any chicken alfredo, it was_ her_ chicken alfredo.

"Dean, give me the plate," Sam demanded when he saw what was on it.

"Over my dead body," I told him and then took a fork and began to eat.

Oh, god, it was better than usual. And that said a lot.

"You know I love you right?" I asked, and took another bite. It tasted so fucking good.

"You might have told me that," she smiled, and I groaned when I tasted the chicken again.

"C'mon dude, one bite," Sammy pleaded, but oh no, never.

"You can take this," I heard Ash say and both Sam and looked at him stunned.

"What? It was a lot," Ash explained, and Soph laughed. Sammy and I didn't.

Even if you're full, you just don't throw away food that tastes this good. Never, it's rude and stupid.

Especially when the chef is in the room.

"You're more stupid than I thought you were," Sam said, and took the plate from him.

"I took too much!" Ash complained, and Sam snorted. I knew what he was thinking, because I was thinking the same thing. You can't take too much of Soph's food.

"Remember this until the next time; don't _ever _throw away food this delicious," I said, and heard Sam groan beside me.

"Oh god," he said, and took another bite.

"I agree with you, dude," I commented, and Soph rolled her eyes and shook her head at us both.

**Sophia **

"So, how did you react when you got introduced to the world of supernatural?" Ash asked, as Sam and Dean were still sitting beside me and eating.

I heard Dean chuckle, and knew that he was thinking about it.

"I didn't really believe Dean when he told me what he did for a living," I said, and Dean laughed more.

"That's an understatement," he remarked, and chewed his food, grinning at me.

"What does that mean?" Ash asked, and I sighed.

"I… I might have hit him," I uttered, a little ashamed. I really didn't take it that well.

"You might? Soph, you were fifteen and my body hurt for _days,"_ Dean laughed and Sam chuckled with him.

"It wasn't really smart to say '_You know the monsters under the bed? They're real, and I hunt them for a living',_ now was it?" I asked. I probably would have handled it better if Dean had told me in a better way.

"Okay, I could have handled that better, but at least I told you the truth," he said, and I turned my head to look at Ash. He looked shocked.

"Ash?" Sam asked, and Ash pursed his lips.

"_You_ hit _him?"_ he asked, and looked like he was about to laugh.

"What, is it hard to believe because of my size?" I asked. Not many took me for what I am because of my size. I hated that.

"No… Not really. You're a girl... But you can't be more than 5'4."

"5'3 to be exact. And she's strong," Dean said, and I thought I heard pride in his voice.

"I would win over her in arm wrestling any day," Ash said, and I looked at him. Maybe he thought so, but I could win over him. Easily.

"Wanna bet?" I asked, and he looked at me, grinning.

"If I win, you are to kiss me," he said, and I felt Dean stiffen beside me. This was okay with me, because he didn't say where I was to kiss him…

"Okay, but if I win I want you to… admit that I'm stronger than you in front of everyone." I heard Dean and Sam laugh, and Ash looked quite uncomfortable.

"Okay," he agreed then and put his arm in position. So did I.

I was already strong before Dean thought me to use my size and strength in the right ways, so I knew I would win this. I even beat Sam once, many years ago. Although, I knew I would never beat Dean…

"You ready?" Dean asked, and then told us to start.

It wasn't even hard to win over Ash. It was almost too easy.

"Ash, sorry to say this, but my girl just beat you," Dean grinned, and Ash looked shocked.

"She's not stronger than Sam," he uttered, and Sam and I looked at each other, both of us narrowing our eyes.

"Want a re-match, Sammy?" I asked, and he narrowed his eyes more in a yes.

"This will be fun," I said, and took his hand in mine.

"How long has it been now?" he asked me, and I thought about it for a second.

"Three years, and I'm stronger now," I grinned.

"Sammy, just remember, Soph beat you the last time," Dean said, and I saw Ash shocked expression. I fighted my chuckle back, but Dean didn't.

"I'm ready to win," Sam grinned, and we started. It was a lot harder to arm wrestle with Sam, but I gave him a hard match. I don't know how many times he was close to winning, but I pushed him back up.

I heard the door open, but didn't let myself loose the concentration. Sam did though, and I smashed his hand down in the table.

"That was just good luck," he stated, and I laughed.

"Maybe it was, but she won," Dean said, and wrapped his arm around me. Again, I heard the pride in his voice.

Now I looked who had entered the room, and found both Bobby and Ellen watching us.

"Did you just beat him?" Ellen said, impressed.

"You bet she did," Dean said, and pressed a kiss on my lips.

"She's a keeper," I heard Bobby say to Dean, and I smiled.

"You think I don't know that?" Dean answered, and I smiled more.

"No way you're beating Dean, though," Ash said, still shocked about the fact that I had won over Sam.

I met Dean's eyes, and we looked at each other for a moment.

"She's strong, but she's not_ that_ strong," Dean said, and sat down on the chair opposite to me.

"It not about strength, it all about technique," I said, and repeated the words Dean had told me a long time ago.

"I'm better," Dean smirked, and I narrowed my eyes. I knew he was better than me, and the only chance I had of winning was if I cheated.

I took his hand in mine, and we stared into each others eyes. Right before Sam was about to tell us to start, I whispered something to Dean.

"If you let me win, I'll give you anything you want."

"Anything?" he asked, one eyebrow raised.

"_Anything_," I confirmed. For a second, he looked like he would fall for it.

"I'm not gonna fall for that," he said, and then pushed my hand down in the table, laughing as he did so. I faked my hurt expression, and I heard the others around us chuckle.

I got up from the table to dish the plates, but Dean took my wrist and stopped me. He pulled me down into his lap, and leaned down to kiss me but I stopped him, placing my hand over his lips and shaking my head.

He looked into my eyes for a long time, and then smirked.

"I'll give you anything, if you give me a kiss," he said, and this time I smiled.

"Anything?" I asked, and he confirmed that. Oh, he was going to change his mind.

I got up and dragged him with me, walking out of the kitchen. I had no idea of how long we had been in the kitchen, but it must have been for a long time. Because the bar was empty now. Maybe that's why Ellen had showed up in the kitchen? The only person I could see was Jo, cleaning the bar.

I walked up to the jukebox, still with Dean after me, and stopped.

"I found something interesting earlier today," I said, and found the right song. Dean raised his eyebrow at me, but then the song started and he heard what song it was.

"You're not thinking what I think you're thinking, right?" he asked, and I smiled as I nodded.

"Soph, please..." he pleaded when I dragged him out a little bit onto the floor.

"You said anything," I answered him simply, and heard him mumble something.

"I can't dance," he told me then, and this time I raised my eyebrow at him.

"My twenty-first birthday?" I asked, and he narrowed his eyes. He knew he couldn't lie to me, especially since I was the one who had thought him how to dance.

He looked at me, and I knew I could only win in one way. So I gave him the eyes I knew he couldn't resist, and could almost see him give up at the same second.

"Soph, don't do this to me..." he said, but at the same time he wrapped his arms around me, and pulled me close to him. I leaned my head against his chest and sighed as he lead me to _our _song.

I hadn't danced with him for years, and I enjoyed doing it again. I had no idea if anyone was watching, and I didn't care. And honestly, I think Dean forgot about the people around us after a short moment because his tensed body relaxed, and I could feel him enjoying the moment with me.

He burrowed his head in the crook of my neck, and placed a soft kiss there that made a shiver run down my spine. I smiled when he whispered that he loved me.

He had told me that so many times now, but him telling me that he loved me was something I would never get tired of hearing.

I leaned out from his chest, and found his beautiful green eyes penetrating into mine.

I locked my arms around his neck as I reached up on my toes so that I could place a kiss on his lips. His grip on me became tighter, and without effort he lifted me so that I wouldn't have to stand on my toes to kiss him. I let my lips linger on his as I whispered that I loved him back, and then kissed him gently. He kissed me back, and made the kiss only slightly deeper. With the song still playing in the background Dean stopped moving, and we stood still on the floor as we kissed.

Well, he stood still with me in his arms as we kissed.

---

When I woke up, I knew it was way too early to be awake. I heard weak noises from behind me, and searched with my hand over the bed. I found it empty. But it was still warm.

Before I had the chance to open my eyes I felt Dean's hand on my wrist, and I could feel him leaning in. I felt his even breaths against my skin, and a shiver ran through me.

"Go back to sleep," he whispered in my ear, and then placed a kiss on my cheek.

A few seconds later I heard the door close, and I fell right back to sleep.

I woke up several hours later, fully awake. I took a quick shower, and was about to go out to get some breakfast when my phone rang.

It was Tess, and I picked it up.

We talked for more than an hour, just talking. About everything. When she asked me what Dean was doing, I lied and told her he was outside, fixing something on the car.

I couldn't really tell her he was out hunting a demon.

Now, when I thought about it, I realized I had never told her what he did for a living. But thankfully she never asked. And I sort of feared for that moment, not knowing what to answer her.

I told her I needed breakfast, and then promised I would call her tomorrow.

I left the phone on the bed, not caring to take it with me, and then walked out of our room.

I didn't hear anyone as I walked toward the bar, and figured they were just somewhere else.

Until I reached the bar, that is.

Ellen, Jo and Ash were all tied up, unconcious.

I stared at them for a second, shocked, before I remembered how to move.

I was about to go to them and untie them, when I heard a male voice from behind me.

"Sophia – I've been waiting for you," the voice said. I hadn't heard it before, and afraid too look I turned around and found a man standing a few metres away from him.

There seemed to be nothing special about him – except for his yellow eyes staring at me.


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay, chapter ten.  
****Next chapter will probably be up next week, since it's not done yet. **

**Dean**

I started the car as both Sammy and Bobby had closed the door.

I was itching to get back to Soph, so I drove without saying anything.

I couldn't belive that she had so easily convinced me to dance with her yesterday.

Truth be told, it was nice. Until Sam teased me about it, that is.

If Soph hadn't been standing next to me, I would have done something I shouldn't have.

But she was there, and I behaved.

I would have thought Sammy would have teased me more though...

I wanted to stay next to her in bed this morning, especially when she woke up.

Instead I told her to go back to sleep, and placed a kiss on her cheek.

I knew we had to go, and so we did.

And now the son of a bitch was back in hell, where she belonged.

As I thought about it, it had almost been too easy finding her, and capturing her, and sending her back...

"Is it just me, or was that too easy? I mean, it was Meg, she was expecting us and I was expecting something more... challenging," I asked, but got no answer. I watched in the rearview mirror, and saw Bobby thinking about my question. Then something changed in his expression, and I heard noices that was all too familar coming from beside me. So I quickly turned to look at Sam, and found what I was expecting.

He had a vision. Crap. Those on the days were _never_ good, so this wouldn't be a message from Soph's dad.

"Sam? Sammy? Hey, Sam!" I was trying to get contact with him, trying to pull him out of the vision. But as always, it didn't work. I did slow down the car though, so that I could keep my eyes on him.

Bobby had never seen this before, and for a second I wonderered how he was reacting.

But I didn't tear my eyes of Sam to find out.

It took a moment before Sam was back with us, and I was alarmed by his expression.

He looked terrified.

"Sam, what did you see?" I asked, and he stared right ahead of him.

"Dean, stop the car," he said calmly, but I heard an edge of panic in his voice. What the hell did he see?

"No, what did you see?" I asked again. This time he looked at me when he answered me.

He said one word, and that word changed everything. That one single word turned my world upside down.

"Soph..."

I accelerated the car as much as I could, but I was still more than an hour away from her.

"Dean, listen to me..." Sam started, and I didn't shut him out. Sam's visions were never good, and this one was about Soph. And with the way he looked, I knew it really wasn't good.

I just couldn't let anything happen to her. I _wouldn't._

I tried to accelerate the car again, but it was all in vain. Nothing happened.

My mind was going through everything that could be happening with her right now, but it was always too bad for me to think about. And I had no idea. So I forced myself to listen to Sam.

"What did you see?" I asked again, and this time he really explained.

"First all I saw was the roadhouse. And then I saw Ellen, Ash and Jo tied up. Soph walked out into the bar, and... and..." Sam said, searching for his words. But I didn't have time for that.

"And?" I promted.

"It's yellow-eyes, Dean." I had already guessed so much, but hearing him say the words just made it so much more worse.

I couldn't think, all I could think about was the worry and panic eating me up.

"He's got the colt," I heard Sam answer to one of Bobby's question.

"The colt doesn't really help us now, does it?" I asked harshly. I didn't mean for my voice to be so harsh, but there was nothing I could do. And I really didn't care.

"It might," Sam said, surprising me. This demon was too strong for us, and there was no way we could get that colt out of his hands. No way.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked, and looked at him. He was planning something...

"You know how I moved the closet with my mind?" he asked, confusing me more.

"Yeah?"

"I haven't told you this, but I've been practicing that," he confessed, and shocked me. He had been doing what? Why hadn't he told me? If my own brother could move something with his mind, wasn't that something he should tell me?

But I could see where his thoughts were heading, and I could see the plan in his head.

"Can you do it?" I asked. He didn't hesitate when he answered.

"Yes." Well, I needed more than that.

"We're not just walking in there with a plan that_ might _work, Sam," I told him, and he was quiet for a second. Then his face went into concentration mode, and the book in his lap started to move. It flew up a few inches above his lap, and then landed in it again.

Okay, so he could do it.

"The colt isn't a book, and that son of a bitch is strong," I told him, forcing me to think of something positive in this situation. And Sam's gift, that would have freaked me out in a normal situation, was the only thing positive in this.

"As long as you keep him busy, I can do it. From what I saw, he isn't really keeping an eye on it."

"You're not killing him, Sam," I told him, and he knew what I meant.

"As soon as I have it, I'll make sure I'll give it to you," he promised me.

We continued to talk about the plan, and how to do this the best way. There was no good way.

I tried to think of this as a normal job, but that was hard. It was hard knowing Soph was there, hard knowing she was probably hurt...

In a way the hour it took for us to reach the roadhouse was both fast and slow.

It went fast because we concentrated on the plan, but at the same time it was the most painful hour in my life. Just because I didn't know...

"Sam, if... if she..." I trailed off, not able to say the words.

"Yeah, I know, you'll kill me."

"If that demon doesn't die, you won't be there to kill him," Bobby said, and I took my shotgun.

It was the best I could do right now.

I didn't hesitate as I walked into the bar, shotgun aimed.

The first thing I saw was Ellen, Ash and Jo, all tied up. Just like Sam had told me. They watched me with disbelieving eyes as I entered the room. And I didn't blame them. I still didn't believe that this plan would work out for the best.

The second thing I saw was my girl, and I almost broke down from the sight. She was pushed against the wall, and had a big ugly bruise covering her face.

_At least she's alive,_ I thought to myself. It took everything I had in me not to take the shotgun down and walk up to her. But we had a plan, and I had to stick to it.

"Dean, Dean, Dean... I thought you knew me better by now," I heard the son of a bitch say from beside me. I didn't have to move much to have the shotgun aimed at him.

"I think I know you pretty well," I said through my clenched teeth.

"Then you should know that a shotgun won't kill me." Oh, I knew that all too well. But this was the plan. And I would stick to it. Even if I had to force myself to do so.

I noticed the colt on the bar, behind the bitch's back. Good, Sam would easily get to it.

Just as I thought that, I saw Sam and Bobby coming from the kitchen. They had taken the back door to get in. The plan was that only I would be showing. That I would distract him.

I saw that Bobby was ready, and so was Sam, so I hopped a few steps of the plan. I just wanted to get this over with.

"I know. But it will hurt," I said, and unsecured my shotgun. He smirked at me.

"Not very much," he enlightened me, and I almost snorted. Oh, this would hurt.

"It's going to hurt," I promised the bitch, and when I started to shoot so did Bobby.

I shot him in the chest and Bobby in the back. That _had_ to hurt.

And it clearly did. And it distracted him. As I shot, I saw Sam moving behind him. As he walked, the colt was moving with him. He nodded at me, so I stopped shooting.

Now when the pain only came from one direction, the bitch turned around and saw Bobby.

Sam was already out of sight. So far, the plan worked well.

I saw the colt moving closer to me, so I threw the shotgun to Sam who catched it. As soon as the colt was close enough for me to take, I took it.

"Sammy, how are you?" I heard the son of a bitch ask, and Sam narrowed his eyes. We had to get his attention back to me. I wanted the bitch to see his killing bullet.

"I'm good. You see, it's actually thanks to you that we have the colt again," Sam said, and I could picture the demon's surprised expression. Just as I wanted him to, he turned around and looked at me. Before he had the chance to even react, I pulled the trigger and saw the bullet hitting him straight in the chest.

I would have enjoyed the moment more if it wasn't for my girl. I needed to make sure she was okay, and I most definitely wanted to feel her in my arms again.

The second I pulled the trigger, I had worried about her more. This time because she shouldn't see this. She had never seen me like this, and I didn't want her to see me like this. Not ever.

But that was too late, and I did what I had to.

When the bullet left the colt I dropped it and tried to catch my girl as she fell to the ground. But I was too far away, and she landed on the floor.

It felt like it took me hours to get to her, and feel her.

I dropped down on my knees, and cupped her hurt face in my hands, careful not to touch the bruise. I needed to make sure she was okay. I searched her eyes, and I didn't find the rejection I thought I would. I found no repellent in her eyes. She had just watched me kill something, and all I saw was love. Love, and worry, and fear.

"Are you alright?" I asked, dying to know. I _had_ to know.

"Yeah, are you?" How could she even ask me that? She was the one who had been through something no one should go through, and yet she worried about me.

I didn't answer her, because I wasn't okay. Not yet.

Instead I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close. She hugged me back, and I burrowed my head in her hair. With my emotions changing so suddenly, going from worry and panic to such relief and happiness, made my inside a wreck. I could feel my eyes sting from the tears that treathened to leak over, and I blinked to get rid off them.

No, I wouldn't cry. I wouldn't show myself weak. Not now, when I needed to be strong.

**Sophia**

I stared into the yellow eyes before me, and I knew there was nothing I could do.

I thought I would be frozen in fear, but I wasn't. I could move. I knew I could, I just didn't.

I should have, though.

"It's nice to finally meet you in person," the demon said, and I stared at him.

"That's why I'm sorry to do this," he continued, and the next second I was pushed back against the wall. That was going to hurt later. If I live, that is.

But yet, knowing I would probably die, I wasn't afraid. I guessed that was because of the shock.

It was quiet for a long time before he said anything.

"I would have expected you to say something..." he murmured, and tilted his head to look at me.

Oh, he wanted me to talk? I could talk.

"Why are you doing this?"

"This?" he asked, pointing around the room as he moved toward me. "Or this?" he continued, and then I felt a twisting pain in my face. I hadn't seen the blow, but I could most definitely feel it.

I don't know how he hit me, standing several metres away from me. But something hard had definitely hit me.

But I got my answer right there. He wasn't going to kill me. Not yet.

No, he was just playing. But what did he want?

"Why?" I asked again.

"I'm doing both to get to Sam you know. You're a smart girl, you should have figured that out." He was quiet for a short second, but didn't leave me a chance to answer him.

"It's just a plus that everything turned out so good, and that Dean will be involved in this. I always expected you and Sam to get together, though. Even though you and Dean are the perfect match - I see that now. Too bad it's not going to work out... Anyway, like I said I never expected things to go so well between the three of you that day. I always expected you to befriend each other, but best friends, and love? No, never that... Oh, I see that confused look on your face. You want to know what I'm talking about? Well, did you always thought that that day was normal? I mean, that some strange guy would push you out in front of a car and Dean and Sam would be there to save you? Oh, you're finally waking up," he trailed off, leaving me more confused as he looked at Ellen and Ash.

What was he saying? It wasn't just a coincidence that Dean and I had met? Had he been using me in some strange way to get to them?

And now _that_ was confirmed. He was after Dean and Sam. _Now_ I was afraid. Because they would come in here sooner or later and they have no idea of what is waiting...

Now I wasn't just scared - now I was angry. But I couldn't move. It was like I was tied up with invisible chains.

I don't know how long it took before something happened. But the demon stopped talking to Ellen and Ash, and walked around in the room. Saying nothing. Ellen and I sort of had a silent conversation, but I don't think anyone of us know what was said.

But it must have been an hour after I walked into the bar that the demon spoke again.

"Ah, they are finally here," he said, and we could all hear was the sound of the Impala.

I started to panic. I wanted to scream and kick and just find some way to let them know that they couldn't walk in here. But I could do nothing. Nothing at all. I'd never felt so helpless.

A few moments later the door opened and Dean walked in, with his shotgun aimed. That's how I knew that he knew about the demon, and I suddenly remembered Sam's visions. He must have had one. But that definietly didn't explain what the hell was doing here alone.

He met my eyes for a second, and I understood that they had some sort of a plan.

Because I could see it in his eyes. It took everything in him not to walk up to me. He was fighting against himself. What part would win? The part who wanted the demon dead, or the part that was close to breaking down?

When the demon spoke, Dean turned around and suddenly the shotgun was aimed at him.

I could barely listen to what they said. All I could hear was a ringing sound in my ears, but I saw their lips moving. Not long after Dean had walked in, I saw both Sam and Bobby.

They were coming from the kitchen, sneaking inside.

I also saw that it wasn't just me who noticed them. So did Ellen, Jo and Ash. And I don't think anyone of us understood anything that was going on right now.

At least the demon didn't notice them, and I had a pretty good guess that Dean was supposed to distract him somehow. But what was the next step of the plan?

Then suddenly there was the most horrible noice coming from both Dean and Bobby.

They were shooting the demon, both in the chest and the back. I knew it wouldn't kill him – Dean had told me that the only thing that could kill him was a colt – but it seemed to hurt him enough for Sam to do what he was supposed to do. I saw him moving closer to Dean, and it took me a while to understand that expression of concentration on his face.

Because I saw something moving beside him – it looked like a gun? But it was flying, how the hell did that happen? Sam nodded quickly, and Dean stopped shooting the second before he threw the shotgun to Sam. Sam catched it, and Dean took the gun. He unsecured it when the demon noticed Sam standing with the shotgun aimed toward him.

Bobby had stopped shooting, and now I could actually hear what was said.

"Sammy, how are you?" the demon asked Sam, who narrowed his eyes.

"I'm good. You see, it's actually thanks to you that we have the colt again," Sam answered him. So that was the colt? The gun Dean held in his hand was the colt?

I knew that if Dean was fast enough, the demon would be dead in a few seconds. I held my breath without really noticing it, and saw the demon turning to look at Dean.

_Please, please, please, _I begged to myself. If something happened to Dean...

I didn't have to be worried though, because before the demon had the chance to even react Dean had pulled the trigger, and I watched the bullet hit him in the chest. As it did, I saw Dean almost running toward me and I felt myself loosen from the grip that was on me. I fell to the ground, but landed without any further injury. The second later I could feel Dean's hands on my face, cupping it gently.

"Are you alright?" he asked me, and I heard panic and worry in his voice. I was just fine, except for my sore face. But was he alright?

"Yeah, are you?" I breathed, still not letting go of the panic and worry I had felt a few seconds ago. I knew the answer as I looked into his eyes and I didn't have to ask him to find out.

And he didn't answer me, either.

He wasn't okay. There was too much emotions in his voice, eyes and touches for him to be okay.

But he would be.

Instead of answering me he wrapped his arms around me, and he placed a kiss in the crook of my neck as I hugged him back.

A few minutes later I heard Sam asking me if I was okay.

So I reluctantly let go of Dean and gave Sam a hug as I told him I was.

But I was quickly back in Dean's arms, though.

"What the hell happened to the plan, Dean?" I heard Sam ask his older brother, clearly irritated.

"What the hell happened to telling your brother that you can move things with your mind!" Dean accused over my head, and I could feel the tension in the air.

So that's what Sam had been doing? Now he could move things with his mind?

I didn't have time to think about it for a long time before Sam talked again.

"That's not the same, and I was going to tell you! He's dead, and now we'll never find out why the hell he did this!"

"Yeah, he's _dead!_ It would have been nice to know why, but he's dead! We'll never see him again, and..." Dean argued back, and I couldn't take this anymore. They really shouldn't be arguing. Not now, and not over this.

"Shut up!" I told them both, and they stared at me. Actually, they_ all_ stared at me. Ellen, Jo and Ash was now untied and standning next to Bobby.

"Just... shut up," I breathed and took a short pause before I continued. "Both of you have your points and both of you are right. Yes, you should have sticked to the plan even though I'm glad you didn't," I told Dean and then turned to look at Sam. "But Dean is right as well. You should have told him about the mind... thing. But I might have an answer to your question. To why he did this."

"What are you talking about?" Bobby asked before anyone else could. I took a deep breath before I continued again. I had listened to what the demon had talked to Ellen about, and made my own guesses. I told them about that.

"First of all, he was just here to play. To get to you, Sam. I heard him saying something about this being the perfect time to Ellen. Because the bar was empty, and you were out chasing Meg. I don't know how he knew that, but he did. He said something about that he didn't think it would be so soon, because he thought it would be harder for you to find Meg. So his plan wasn't really done, which is good. Because otherwise..." I trailed off. I couldn't think of that '_otherwise'_... I told them about what else the demon had said, and Ellen helped me to fill in with her own guesses and her side of the conversation with the demon.

All we knew for sure was that he was after Sam, and that it was only a plus that he could get to Dean at the same time. Ellen had still been uncunsious when the demon told me about the day Dean, Sam and I met, so she didn't know about that. And I didn't tell them now, either. I didn't think it would make any difference, and I could tell Dean later. That wasn't something they all needed to hear.

As we all talked, Dean's arms around me became tighter. He was blaming himself for today's events.

And he really shouldn't, because this really wasn't his fault.

If he didn't stop blaming himself, I would tell him about what the demon had told me. I didn't even know if it was the truth, because demons always lie. But it sounded like the truth, and the more I thought about it the accident didn't seem like just an accident.

It seemed like something more, and I was starting to believe that the demon maybe did have something to do with the fact that Dean and Sam was there that day to see it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Sophia**

My eyes were closed, but I knew that the room was dark. It was almost midnight, and I was still awake. Probably because Dean was.

I could hear soft snorings from Sam, fast asleep on his bed. He had no trouble sleeping, but Dean had. He was still blaming himself.

During the day, he had always made sure he had an arm around me all the time. And I didn't complain. I wanted to feel him close to me as well.

But he hadn't said much, so I knew he was blaming himself for everything.

But this wasn't his fault, and I had to make him see that somehow.

We were going back to Friday Harbor tomorrow, and he needed to sleep since he was driving.

Suddenly Dean's arm around me left its place, and I could feel him leaving the bed. He had no idea of that I was still awake. I heard him getting dressed, and then I heard him closing the door silently.

I sighed, and got up as well. I didn't bother to put any more clothes on, since the bar was closed.

But I did put on a pair of shoes. Walking in a bar barefoot was never good; there could be broken glass on the floor. It was always hard to get everything off the floor when a glass had been crushed.

So I walked out of the room with a pair of shorts and Dean's shirt. Just as I thought, I found Dean at the bar. Other than him, it was empty. We were probably the only ones still awake.

I thought he didn't notice me as I walked up to him, because he didn't give me a hint that he did.

But he spoke as I was close enough to touch him.

"I didn't mean to wake you up," he said, and I shook my head.

"You didn't," I answered him, and saw him taking a gulp of his beer.

"You should sleep, I'll be right back," he mumbled, but still didn't look at me.

"Stop blaming yourself," I told him, and he sighed.

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are, Dean. But this wasn't your fault." He didn't answer me, instead he took another gulp. This time I sighed. This has got to stop, and I could only think of one way for him to stop blaming himself. I had to tell him.

So I jumped onto the bar, sitting down. Then I moved the beer from him, and placed it on the other side of me. I waited a second before I scooped so that I was sitting opposite to him, and then I waited. I knew he would say something sooner or later, even if we had to sit here all night.

It didn't take long, though. He placed his hands on the side of both my thighs, and then sighed.

"But it is. This never would have happened if I hadn't let you stay here. Of course I wanted you with me, but I saw the danger. The danger of you coming with us all the time, and this proofs everything."

"That's where you're wrong," I told him simply. This would have happened sooner or later anyway, even if I hadn't come here.

"I'm not," he stated, and pulled me a little closer to him.

"Okay, I wasn't going to tell you this here. I was going to wait until we were completely alone, because honestly I don't think this will change anything. But maybe it will, because maybe it will take all of this away," I said, indicating on the fact that he was blaming himself.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, and looked at me for the first time since I entered the room.

"I'm talking about life. I know demon's lie, but I think he might have told me the truth when he told me what I'm going to tell you."

I saw Dean's confusing eyes, and I explained as best as I could.

"I think the demon was behind the accident that day, Dean. I think he made sure you and Sam was close enough to get to me. And if it wouldn't have been me, it would have been someone else. But like I said earlier today, he was after Sam. He was then too. He counted on that we would be friends, and that I would become a big part of your life. He just never thought it would be this big. So this wasn't your fault. The demon has probably been planning this ever since the day your mom died, or even before that. So this isn't your fault. The plan was perfect, except for one thing. He didn't think this day would come so soon, and he definitely didn't count on you finding out that it was Meg so soon. And he didn't count on Sam's gifts, and not on you having a gift as well. He thought he would walk out of this alive, killing only Sam and maybe you. It was never his intention to kill any of us. He just used us to get to you and Sam. But you need to see that this isn't your fault, and you need to stop blaming this on yourself. Because this isn't your fault, and I love you."

As I spoke, I saw realization hit his eyes. He started to understand that this wasn't his fault, and he saw things from my point of view. He didn't say anything for a long time. He just stared into my eyes, and I stared back into his. Then he told me he loved me as he wrapped his arms around me, and buried his head in my stomach. I leaned my head against his and closed my eyes as I ran my fingers through his hair. I could feel him relaxing more and more, and I sighed.

He was finally starting to stop blaming himself.

I don't know how long we sat like that, but finally I straightened up and so did he. I took his hand, and hopped off the bar.

"C'mon," I said, and he followed me back into the bedroom and lay down next to me on the bed.

He wrapped his arms around my waist, and I did the same around his as I leaned my head against his chest. I breathed in and felt both of us relax before I fell asleep.

---

When I woke up both Dean and Sam were still asleep. I wasn't going to wake them. They needed the sleep more than I did.

I pulled on a pair of jeans and sneaked out of the room. I saw Ellen and Jo behind the bar, and decided to go and say hello.

"Hey Soph, you okay?" Ellen asked me and I sat down on one of the chairs.

"Yeah, are you?"

"For being attacked by yellow-eyes, I'm super," Ellen grinned and I heard Jo chuckle behind her.

"Found this beer when I woke up this morning. You don't happen to know who it belongs to?" Ellen said, and pointed at the beer Dean had left on the bar last night.

"It's Dean's. He was blaming himself for what happened yesterday."

"Was?" Jo asked, and looked at me.

"I might have made him think differently. But that was yesterday," I told her, and rose from the chair.

Hopefully Dean wouldn't blame himself today. But there was chance that he might still do that.

I walked off into the kitchen and found me something quick to eat before I walked back into our room.

Sam was now awake, and I saw him walking out of the bathroom.

"Morning, how are you?" he asked, and I told him I was fine. But that I needed a shower.

So I reached for my bag and walked into the bathroom. But I turned around and closed the door behind me the second I walked in. I walked away from the door, not even wanting to be close to the bathroom.

Sam stared at me confused, and I saw Dean stirring in our bed. Great, I woke him up.

"What's going on?" I heard him mumble, and I started to walk toward him. He sat up in bed, and watched me for a second before he chuckled.

"Seriously?" he asked as I sat down beside him.

"Yeah, seriously. And it's huge."

"It's a spider," Dean told me.

"What are you talking about?" I heard Sam ask, and Dean chuckled again. This wasn't funny.

"See this face?" he asked and pointed at my pretty much terrified expression. "This is her spider-face," Dean explained, and Sam chuckled with him.

"It's huge, and I'm not going in there," I told them simply. I was terrified of spiders, and even the smallest one was huge to me. And this one was black, and scary, and big, and had eight legs…

It was gross, and it freaked me out as it sat there, staring at me.

Dean found his way out of bed, and walked into the bathroom. He came out a few seconds later, walking toward me.

"You mean this little thing?" he said, and I noticed him holding the spider on one of his fingers.

It wasn't possible that it was huge, since it was just a tiny, black dot on his finger. But it was huge to me. And he was coming closer with that thing.

"Don't come any closer," I warned him, and I stood up in bed when he did just that.

"Dean, I'm warning you…"

He chuckled again, and walked closer. Seriously, this wasn't fun.

"Or what?" he asked me, grinning. I heard Sam laugh behind him. Dean knows how terrified I am of spiders. He even knows my spider-face. I didn't even know I had one. But yet he was walking closer.

"I hate you," I told him as I hopped out of bed and reached for my bag before I ran into the bathroom and locked the door behind me.

Now the spider was on the other side of the room, so I was safe in here.

I took my clothes off and stepped in under the warm water and relaxed. I noticed that I was still sore on the side of my face, where the bruise was. I hadn't looked myself in the mirror today, but yesterday it hadn't been pretty. I couldn't imagine that it looked better today.

As I had washed my hair I turned the water off, and walked out of the shower.

I wrapped a towel around myself, and took a moment to watch myself in the mirror.

Like I knew it would, it didn't look any better. It almost looked worse, if that was even possible.

I couldn't even imagine how I was supposed to tell Tess and Rob about how I got this.

I had to figure something out, because otherwise they would just fear for the worst.

Dean could probably help me figure something out. Or Sam, or maybe even Ellen or Jo.

Just something that would work. Something believable.

I got dressed, pulling on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and then walked back into the bedroom.

Sam was gone, and Dean was alone. He sat on the bed, watching the TV. He turned it off when I sat down beside him, leaning against his side.

None of us said anything for a while.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled then, and I turned my head to look at him.

"Dean…" I started but he hushed me.

"I'm not saying I'm blaming myself. I'm just saying 'I'm sorry'. Because I am. You don't deserve this. Not any of it," he told me, and I knew he wasn't just talking about yesterday. He was talking about mom and dad as well.

"You don't have to be. But thank you," I said, and he leaned down to press a soft kiss against my lips.

**Dean **

Both Soph and Sam were asleep as I pulled into Friday Harbor. It was 2 am, and we had been driving non stop to get here as fast as possible. The only time we had stopped was when I was driving instead of Sam. That was six hours ago.

I shoved Sam so that he would wake up, and when I did I told him we were here.

"See you tomorrow," I whispered as I dropped him off at the motel.

"You're not…" he started, and I cut him off. I knew the question anyway.

"No, I'm staying with her tonight."

"See you later then," he said and closed the door. I drove again, this time toward her apartment.

I parked the car, and was careful as I lifted her out of the backseat. I didn't want to wake her up. But before I lifted her out, I searched in her jacket and found her keys.

I carried her up to her apartment, and managed to both unlock and open the door without waking her. Then I laid her on the bed as carefully as I could, and hurried down to the car to get our things.

I locked the door behind me and placed the bags in the bedroom, next to one of the walls.

I walked out into the kitchen, and made myself something to eat. I had been drinking way too much caffeine to even consider sleeping right now.

I had a hard time believing Soph when she told me what the demon had said. But I could see it in her eyes, and I had to believe her. And the more I thought about it, the more it seemed to make sense.

Because who would just push someone out in the street like that? That couldn't have been just an accident. And then the fact that I had been standing next to her and therefore was close enough to pull her back. And she was right. If this was the work of the demon, he would have done it somewhere else as well. It was just a coincidence that it was Sophia and Friday Harbor. It could have been anybody, and anywhere.

That didn't change the fact that it was Sophia, though. And even though I didn't feel guilty anymore, I still felt responsible when I saw that bruise on her face.

I don't really know what I felt responsible for, I just knew that I did.

One thing I knew was that I would make sure that this never happened again. It was my responsibility – my job.

And she had made it perfectly clear earlier today that she was coming with us on the road.

I just couldn't argue with her, because I knew a part of me didn't want anything else. I wanted her with me – I wanted to see her everyday.

So she was coming with us.

But first of all, we were staying here for at least a few weeks. I think we all needed some rest since yesterday.

But since Soph was coming with us, I thought she should tell her sister and brother about us.

They should know where she is, and who she's with. They're her family, and they have a right to know. Sam and I talked about it right after Soph had fallen asleep. And he said it was okay if she told them. Now the only obstacle was to make sure Soph felt the same. Because she could be stubborn, and if she didn't want them to know, then she didn't.

I washed the things I had used, and then watched the clock. 3.30 am.

I figured it was time to sleep, even though I still wasn't tired.

Maybe I would be if I just lay down and tried to relax. It was always easier feeling Soph beside me.

So I walked into the bedroom, pulled off my jeans and shirt and laid down under the covers next to her. I wrapped my arm around her waist, and leaned my head down to press a kiss in the crook of her neck. I breathed in her smell, and felt myself relaxing.

"I love you," I whispered quietly before I relaxed more and eventually fell asleep.

---

I woke up from Soph's moving. It wasn't like her to be this restless in her sleep, so the only explanation was that she was awake.

"What are you doing?" I whispered, in case she actually was asleep.

"Go back to sleep," she whispered back, and I was too tired to argue.

I was half asleep again when I felt her leaving the bed, and I waited for a while just to notice that she wasn't coming back any time soon. I turned around and opened my eyes so that I could see the clock.

6 am. I groaned, but climbed out of the bed and left the bedroom.

I saw a light coming from the kitchen, so I walked in there. At first I saw nothing, but then I saw that Soph laid on her back on the kitchen floor, her knees in the air and a water bottle on her stomach.

Her eyes were closed, and I noticed that she was taking deep breaths.

My guess was that the water bottle was hot. Like_ really_ hot.

I'd seen her like this before, but not quite this bad. Not what I could remember anyway.

"That time of the month?" I asked as I walked closer to her, and lay down next to her.

She didn't move, and she didn't open her eyes.

"Trust me, you're lucky not to have a uterus," she told me matter of factly, and I fought the urge to chuckle.

"That bad?" I asked her, and she turned her head to look at me. As I asked the question I reached for her hand, and twisted our fingers together. I knew it was bad, because otherwise we wouldn't be on the floor right now.

"Worse." And I could see it in her eyes. She was in pain, and I wanted to take it away.

Before I had the time to say something, she spoke again.

"Why can't it be you men who deals with this? This pain we go through. We feel it all the time, and you never does. Not once."

This time I couldn't hold it back, and let out a small chuckle.

"I hate to admit this – but I don't think we could handle it. Don't tell anyone I said this, but you women can handle just about everything. There is a reason why you feel this pain, and I don't."

She met my eyes for the longest time before she said anything.

"It's strange. But you always know what to say to make me feel better."

"You have the same gift," I told her honestly and leaned in to give her a kiss. I could feel her there with me in it, but not in the same way as she's always there with me. She couldn't fully be there with me, because of the pain. So I leaned out, and asked her if I could do anything.

"This bottle doesn't seem to help, so you could fix me a warm bath," she said, and I smiled at her. I would do anything for her. So I gave her another kiss, and then got up from the floor.

I walked into to the bathroom, and turned on the water. Hot water. I knew it wouldn't help otherwise.

I heard her feet shuffle into the bathroom, and felt her arms around my waist.

"Could you do me a favor?" she asked gently, and I told her yes.

"Could you buy me some pain killers?" I turned around so that I was facing her, and looked at her.

"I'll be back in no time," I told her, placed a kiss on her forehead and then left to get dressed.

It didn't take me long at all to go out and when I got back she was still in the bathroom.

I tossed the pain killers on the kitchen table, and slid down against the wall outside the bathroom.

"I've been thinking about what we should tell your sister," I told her through the wall.

"Yeah, what?"

_Okay, don't freak._ "I think you should tell her the truth."

"You what!?" I sighed. I knew it.

"It's for the best, and she deserves to know."

"Dean, do you realize what you're talking about?"

"Letting her in on the secret."

"Dean, it's your secret, and you have been trying to keep it that way all your life. And know you just want to_ tell_ her?"

"Soph, if we're doing this – you, coming with us – she really deserves to know where you are and who you're with. Don't you think?"

It took a second for her to answer.

"You do realize she's going to kill me, don't you?"

"No, she's not."

"Maybe you're right. First, she's killing you. And then me."

"I can tell her. And she won't kill any of us."

I heard her soft sigh, and knew she was giving in.

"No, I'll do it. Just not today."

"Okay, just do it soon."

"If I have to," it sounded like she muttered, but I couldn't be sure. Well, that wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. It could have been a lot harder. And if she would have refused, there would have been nothing I could do about it.

---

"So, how's my baby today?" I asked Soph as she walked into the kitchen.

"No, not today. I'll just do it the day before we leave, or I can do it over the phone," she said as she poured herself a cup of coffee. It had been almost a week since we arrived in Friday Harbor, and she hadn't been outside the door, afraid her sister or brother would see her. She had come up with a lie, so that most of the bruise would be gone when she was telling her, which is was by now. She told both Tess and Rob that she was too sick to go anywhere, and it worked. So far.

"Soph," I protested. She knew she would have to do this sooner or later, and she knew she had to do it between four eyes.

"I'm just not ready to do it now, okay?"

"I can be there with you."

"That's probably not the best idea. Tess doesn't have anything against you right now, but trust me, she will. It's going to be ugly, and I don't want to do it with you there. It's easier to do it alone. But I'm sick for a few more days." I sighed, but knew there was no reason to argue. This was her decision. And she had choosen to tell her sister, just not when.

I heard a knock on the door, and rose from the table. Soph didn't move, knowing Sam was coming over. And since I knew Sam was coming over, I didn't look before I opened the door.

But it wasn't Sam. No, it was Tess. With a bowl of soup.

"Hey, baby, it's your sister. With a bowl of soup," I shouted, and smiled at Tess. Yep. Soph would have to tell her now. I could almost smell Soph's panic as I reached for the bowl, and Tess gave it to me.

"How's my sister?" she asked, and walked inside.

"She is... let me go see," I changed the subject, and hurried inside the kitchen.

Like I knew, Soph was pretty much panicing. She had no idea of what to tell her, and now she would have to do it.

"At least you look sick," I told her, and she glared at me. Her hair was a mess, since she recently woke up. And she was wearing only a t-shirt and a pair of long pyjama pants. She looked sick, but was beautiul.

I heard Tess walking into the kitchen, and made sure I stood so that she wouldn't see Soph.

"Go," she told me, and I searched her eyes.

"Are you sure?"

"Just go," she told me again, and I leaned down to give her a kiss.

"Love you," I whisperd to her, and she placed another kiss on my mouth.

"Love you," she answered me.

"Call me," I told her before I turned around and left. I didn't want to leave her, but she wanted to do this alone. And she knew her sister better than I did.


	12. Chapter 12

**This is the last chapter. Short story, I know. But I ran out of ideas for this one, and all I could think about was the future for Sophia and Dean.  
So, I'm working on a sequel. I already have a few chapters done, and it will be up in a few days. **

**But for now, here is the last chapter of Life is complicated. **

**Sophia **

I knew she'd take it bad, but not that bad.

The first thing she saw was the bruise, of course. And of course she wanted an explanation.

I told her it was a long story that started about 23 years ago. She looked at me disbelievingly.

I told her it started with Dean and Sam's mother's death. She looked confused.

I told her she was killed. She knew that.

I told her she was killed by a demon. She really didn't believe me, and didn't want to either.

She was very quiet though, while I told her about how John had taught Dean and Sam to hunt the supernatural, and how to kill it. I didn't give her all the details of the supernatural, of course.

God, it took years before Dean told me everything. And I still didn't know everything. I don't think anyone knows _everything._

Then I told her about this weekend, and how Dean and Sam were on a hunt. I told her about Ellen, Bobby, Ash and Jo. I told her about Meg. I told her what I knew about yellow-eyes. I didn't tell her about Sam and his visions, and his moving-things-with-his-mind-thing. She didn't have to know everything. I told her that yellow-eyes had come to the roadhouse, and that Dean had killed him.

That's when she started to react. Just the way I knew she would. God, she was furious and terrified and shocked all at the same time. And there was probably even more emotions inside her that I didn't notice. She screamed at me, and I tried to calm her. I knew it wouldn't work, but I still tried.

She told me she didn't want me to see Dean and Sam anymore, and I told her she couldn't deside over my life. She wanted to know how long I had known about them, and I told her ten years.

She screamed more at me then. She told me that she really didn't trust Dean nor Sam around me anymore, and I screamed more. My head was already throbbing by then, but it got worse.

We argued more, and she was so angry that she told me she would actually hurt me if I didn't stop seeing Dean. I don't think I've ever seen her like that before. Not ever. And hopefully, it would pass. But right then, I only knew one way to handle the situation. So I told her to do it.

"I'm serious!"

"So am I! Just fucking do it - hit me!" And she did. It wasn't hard or anything, but I knew she meant for it to be. She just never had been strong, and would probably never be.

"Get out!"

"If you don't..."

"GET OUT!" I screamed again, and pushed her out of the door. I closed it right infront of her nose, and locked it.

"So fucking unbelievable!" I screamed to myself, and walked out into the livingroom. I found the right CD, and pushed the play botton. For some strange reason, Matchbox 20's music had always calmed me. What ever song I played, it always helped. It probably had something to do with Rob Thomas voice. Right now, I knew what song I wanted to hear. So I changed into the last song, and turned the volume to max. I lay down on the couch and tried to relax as I listened to the song.

That one song turned into the whole album. Over and over and over again.

When I had listened to the last song three times, I heard the phone ring. I didn't even care to check who it was. I was just too mad at my sister, and her reaction.

It wasn't until later that I remembered that I had promised to call Dean, and that he was probably the one who had called. But I didn't have the strenght or even will to get off the couch.

I don't know how long after Tess had left that I was about to fall asleep, but I heard the music turn down on a lower volume. I hadn't even noticed that Dean had walked inside, but he was the only one with a key besides me.

The next second he was sitting beside me, taking my hand. I didn't move, and he didn't say anything. Eventually I moved a little bit, lying my head in his lap. There I relaxed more as he played with my hair, and I never opened my eyes. He still didn't speak, and neither did I.

I don't know how, with the music on and everything, but I fell asleep right there.

-

When I woke up, my head was still on Dean's lap, and he was still playing with my hair. I had no idea of how long I had been asleep, but the room was still bright so it can't have been for long.

One of my favorite song's with MB20 was playing in the background, and I didn't speak before it was over.

"Hey," I said, not knowing what to say.

"That bad?" he asked, and I snorted.

"That bad."

"Since you're playing Matchbox, and you're still upset, I guess it really didn't go too well."

"I'm still upset beacause I hate her."

"No, you don't."

"Yeah, I do."

"Soph, you don't hate her," he said, like he knew everything.

I got up and walked into the bedrrom, knowing it wasn't Dean I was angry with. But right now it felt like that. I heard him follow me, and I talked as I changed my clothes into a pair of jeans and a tanktop.

"You know, I really do hate her right now. I hate how she reacted, and I hate how I reacted. I hate that I hate her, and I hate that I'm pissed. And I don't even know what I'm pissed about! I don't know if it's because I told her to hit me, or because she did, or because I kicked her out. I don't know anything right now, and I hate that!" As I talked, I was screaming more and more. And I hated that I was screaming at Dean, and that he just stood there, taking it. Saying nothing.

I just couldn't handle this right now.

I saw Dean walking toward me, but I walked around him and left the apartment. I just couldn't be there right now, I needed to be alone for a while. And I knew where I wanted to be alone.

I forgot the keys to the car in the apartment, and I didn't feel like walking up to get them, so I walked instead.

I don't know how long it took me to walk to the cemetery, but it didn't take long. Normally it wasn't a very long walk, and I walked faster now since I was pissed.

I stopped at their grave, and sat down. And I started to talk. I told them all about today, and the last week and just everything. And I started to cry, because I really missed them both.

And I wanted them with me. Mom could always handle Tess when she was like this, and she could always handle me when I was like this. I wanted her here, and I wanted dad here. And I wanted everything to be normal. I wanted Tess to like Dean again, and I wanted her to trust him, and I wanted her to not be pissed. I wanted her to know everything about Dean, Sam and me, but I really didn't want her to handle it like this.

As I talked, I could feel most of the anger leaving me. I could place it, and I knew what I was angry about. It wasn't Dean, like I had felt back in the apartment. It wasn't Tess, and it wasn't me. It was just the way we both had handled the situation, when we both knew there was better ways to do it in. I stayed at the grave until it was getting dark, because by then all the anger was gone and I was starving. And I missed Dean. He probably knew where to find me, but he didn't try. Because he knew I wanted to be alone. It was just insane how much I loved him, and how much I knew he loved me.

I promised mom and dad I would bring him next time, and then I left.

I walked more slowly this time, and it took me a longer time to get back. The door was still unlocked, and I could hear that Dean had changed the CD into something he liked better. I smiled as I walked into the living room and found him asleep on the couch. He looked so peaceful, and not at all like he had been taking a lot of shit from me just a few hours ago. I left the music on, and walked out into the kitchen and picked up the phone. I wasn't in the mood to cook and so I ordered a pizza, saving half of it for Dean if he wanted it when he woke up.

**Dean**

There had been four hours, and she still hadn't called. So I called her, and she didn't pick up. I waited for a while before I decided to go there. I had my guesses before I walked into the apartment, but I knew it hadn't gone well as I entered it. She was playing one of her favorite albums, and I saw her half asleep on the couch. So I turned down the volume, and sat down by her head, taking her hand. But I didn't talk. She would do that if she wanted to.

She didn't move at first, but after a few minutes she laid her head in my lap. Still holding her hand, I lifted my other and started to play with her hair. She had always loved when I did that, and I had always enjoyed doing it. Just feeling her thick, black hair in between my fingers...

It didn't take long before she fell asleep, and I didn't move.

About an hour later when she woke up, I was still playing with her hair. She waited until the song ended until she spoke.

"Hey," she whispered, and her voice was a little hoarse. She had been screaming.

"That bad?" I asked her, and she snorted.

"That bad."

"Since you're playing Matchbox, and you're still upset, I guess it really didn't go too well."

"I'm still upset beacause I hate her."

"No, you don't."

"Yeah, I do."

"Soph, you don't hate her," I told her. I knew that maybe she didn't_ like_ her sister right now, but she didn't hate her.

Soph got up from the couch, and I followed her into the bedroom. She was changing her clothes as she spoke. For every word, her voice got louder and more upset. I hated seeing her like this.

"You know, I really do hate her right now. I hate how she reacted, and I hate how I reacted. I hate that I hate her, and I hate that I'm pissed. And I don't even know what I'm pissed about! I don't know if it's because I told her to hit me, or because she did, or because I kicked her out. I don't know anything right now, and I hate that!"

I started to move toward her, to comfort her, but she slid around me and I heard the door close. I didn't make an attempt to follow her. She probably wanted to be alone right now, and I would let her be just that. I knew where she was anyway - she didn't have to tell me.

I stood there for a while, not knowing what to do before I walked out into the kitchen and made me something to eat. When I had done so, I walked into the living room, changed the CD and laid down on the couch and tried to relax.

---

I felt something against my forehead, and someone was running her fingers through my hair. Before I had the chance to open my eyes and see that it was Soph, she spoke.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"For what?" I murmured as I opened my eyes and stared into hers. She was sitting on the floor right in front of me.

"For being a bitch. I was pissed, but I had no right to take it out on you," she told me, and I nearly snorted. Soph's a lot, but she is definitley not a bitch. She's everything but that. She's mature, and childish, and stubborn, and kind, and beautiful, and wonderful, and just so much more.

"You're a lot, but not a bitch," I told her simply, and I saw a small smile on her lips. Before she had the chance to talk, I did.

"And I don't care if you took it out on me. Besides, it was kinda sexy," I said, and she chuckled with me.

"How long was I gone?" she asked me then.

"Well, that depends on what time it is."

"Around nine," she told me and I frowned. Had she really been gone four hours?

"I've been back for about an hour," she told me when I asked her.

"There is some pizza in the kitchen if you want it," she told me then, and I had to think about it. I wasn't hungry, but pizza sounded nice. But no, I could take it later.

"I'm not hungry," I told her and she laughed. I raised an eyebrow, and she bit her lip, smiling at me.

"That's a first," she said, and rose from the floor. I stared at her, and followed her with my eyes as she left the room after she had changed the CD back to Matchbox 20. I climbed off the couch, and followed her as I spoke.

"The only reason I'm always hungry is because you're making the food," I told her, and she chuckled, now sitting on the bed.

I walked up to her, standning in between her legs. Her hands stroked my arms, and she lifted her eyes to meet mine.

"What are you doing in here anyway?" I murmured.

"I was planning on changing," she murmured back as I lowered my head and let my lips meet hers.

"And now?" I murmured when our lips broke a part for a short second.

"Who knows?" she answered me, and her hands stopped on my arms as I reached my hands up to cup her face. I sucked gently on her bottom lip for a long time before she stroked her tongue on my lower lip, asking for permission. I let her in, and her hands moved from my arms to my chest. When she started to unbuckle my shirt, I didn't stop her. I just broke the kiss, letting my lips linger on hers, and I asked her if she was sure.

"We waited long enough," she told me simply, and our lips met again. When the shirt was unbuckled her hands searched over my now bare chest, making goosebumps rise on my arms. Her hands searched their way up to my shoulder, and down my arms again, taking the shirt with them.

In a swift movement, I made sure that she was the one standing, and I the one sitting down. The kiss was still soft and gentle, until I pulled her tanktop over her head. When our lips met again, the kiss grew deeper and more urgent. As I let my hands trace over her bare skin, her arms locked behind my neck, one of her hands gripping my hair.

As I leaned backward, lying down, suddenly I got nervous.

It was always Soph who managed to get me nervous. But this was_ good_ nervous. This was like when I was nervous about telling her about my feelings. It held that excitement that made the feeling so much better. But it was ridicilous that I was nervous now, even though I could understand. In some ways. I shouldn't be nervous, though. This was Soph, and I wanted this.

But for me it had always been just sex and lust. It had never been love, and I had never experienced this before. I knew that this would be more than just sex, which was why I was nervous.

But I didn't have to be, of course I didn't.

Making love to Sophia was just so much better than anything else I had ever experienced.

Sharing those kisses - feeling her soft lips against mine...

Her hands tracing and searching over my body, just like mine searched over hers...

Feeling her fingers in my hair, hearing her moaning my name and feeling her body squirm under mine...

It was more than I had expected it to be – it was everything and more.

I couldn't believe that we had waited so long, but then again, waiting so long probably only made it better now.

---

We walked out of the restaurant hand in hand, and she locked the door behind her.

She had called for a meeting, letting her staff know that she wouldn't be here so often.

She told them she would be there when they opened up again, but after that she would be taking off. She had trusted Steve with the job as the manager, and she trusted him to take care of the place for her. I knew Steve, and I knew he was a nice guy. Soph and Steve had known each other since they were in the same class in high school, and they were good friends.

Sophia would still be taking care of the most important stuff, like all the papers and all of that. Only she would do it over the phone, and on the road. Being on the road would make it harder for her to pull it off, but I knew that if anyone could do it it was Soph.

And she trusted the rest with everything else.

She had talked to her sister two days ago, and she wanted to call her. But she didn't, wanting Tess to be the one to call when she had thought everything through.

We would be heading off in a few days, and I knew she wanted to meet her before we took off.

We had left the car with Sam, and so we had walked from the motel to the restaurant, and now we were walking to the cemetery. She wanted me to come with her, and I couldn't say no to her.

But I had never officially been there with her. It was just that one time, on her father's birthday a little over a month ago.

It was amazing how strong Soph really were. Her mom died only a little over a month ago, and still she was living her life. Enjoying it.

It was just that week between the crash and the funeral that had been the hardest. That was when she cried all the time, and just felt so hollow and empty and confused. But after the funeral things had gotten better. I don't know if it was because of her personality and her strenght, or if it also had something to do with me being there for her. I wanted to belive that it had, but I knew she would have been fine without me. She's so strong and independent, and I love that about her.

I could still see her looking at nothing special sometimes, and she had that look in her eyes. That sorrow, and longing and I knew that she really wanted her mom with her then. Nothing else would make her feel better. But I always tried. How could I not?

And now she was standing in front of her mother and father's grave, holding my hand, and I saw a small smile on her lips. Even though the longing was there.

"Dad, I told you about someone special in my life ten years ago, and here he is. I wish you would have met him in person, though... And mom, I'm sorry it took so long," she fell in silence, and after a moment of it, I felt her looking at me. What, seriously, she wanted me to say something? I had no idea of what to say...

She continued to look at me, promting me to say something, so I said the only thing I could think of.

"Mr. and Mrs. Gordon." I heard Soph laugh. She let go of my hand and wrapped her arm around my waist instead. I placed my arm around her shoulder, and pulled her closer.

"Well, obviously Dean needs more practise when it comes to this," Soph said, and continued to talk. I listened and looked at her, amazed at how comfortable she was with this. But then again, she had been going here for her whole life.

I held her closer when a tear leaked over, but she ignored it and leaned her head against my side as she continued to talk. But she stopped mid-scentence suddenly, and I turned my gaze from the tombstones to her face. She was staring right ahead of herself, so I looked that way. And saw Tess and Dave. Soph didn't stop looking at her sister, and Tess was staring back. When they were closer, Soph left my side and Dave left Tess' to stand by me. I watched the two sisters stand infront of each other, holding my breath. I knew how Soph felt, but I had no idea of how Tess felt.

And then, they spoke at the same time.

"I'm sorry," after the words were out, they smiled and hugged, and I let out my breath.

I turned to look at Dave, and saw him looking at me. We were about the same heigh and size, so he had always looked at me normally, and not like I was someone that could probably kick his ass. That might have been because he didn't know that I was a hunter, as well.

But now he watched me warily, and I knew Tess had told him.

"So, she told you?"

"Yep. So it's true?"

"Very much," I told him, and he turned his gaze to Soph and Tess. So did I. They were talking but I didn't listen.

"I guess you're the one who... you know," I said, indicating on the fact that Dave had always been very reasonable. Even though Tess could also be that, but more after she had been thinking about it for a while.

"Yeah. It doesn't mean I like it though, it's just that it's Sophia's life."

"Trust me, I know it is."

"You really love her, don't you?" he asked me then, surprising me.

"Yeah, I do."

"Then why do you let her come with you?" I knew what he meant by that. He wanted me to go without her, and I didn't blame him.

"To be honest? It's going to be dangerous, I know that. And I'm going to worry like crazy about her. So yeah, it would be easier if Soph stayed here and lived her life. But she made a decision, and she want's to come with us. And I want her with me. I want to see her everyday, and I want to talk to her everyday. And if she's with me, at least I know she's safe and I can protect her."

He didn't answer me, and I didn't say anything else. We just stood there in silence, watching the two women in front of us.

At least they were friends again – sisters.

I knew it would take time before Tess would even want to talk to me again, and it would take longer before she trusted Soph to be with me. And before she trusted me. But eventually she would – hopefully -, and I counted on that day to come. Even if it would take years, I really wanted that day to come.


	13. Chapter 13

**I just wanted to tell you guys that I finally uploaded a sequel to Life is Complicated and to Everything you ever wanted! It's called Happily ever after, but don't be so sure that that's the case. It's Dean and Soph we're talking about. Something is always going on. **

**I hope you guys will like it, and that you enjoyed reading this story. **


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